Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff

We've moved!

2008-11-11T17:09:00.001-08:00

Hope you don't mind, but this blog has moved to a new location ... greatestprobowlsever.wordpress.com.

That link again ... http://greatestprobowlsever.wordpress.com/. For a good time, copy and paste that into your URL field on your Internets browser.

NFL Week 10 picks

2008-11-07T15:12:00.000-08:00

Due to weather constraints (it's freakin' nice outside and Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff wants to go outside and play), the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings will not take place and will return next ... we promise.

Here is this week's attempt to correctly predict the outcome of pro football games ...

Week 10 picks

Broncos over Browns (nailed it!)
Packers over Vikings
Patriots over Bills
Titans over Bears
Saints over Falcons
Jets over Rams
Jaguars over Lions
Dolphins over Seahawks
Ravens over Texans
Panthers over Raiders
Steelers over Colts
Chargers over Chiefs
Giants over Eagles
Cardinals over 49ers

Week 9 record: 7-7
Overall record: 79-53

This week's college football picks: Another big one in the Big 12

2008-11-07T12:53:00.001-08:00

"Come after me! I'm a man! I'm 40!" -- Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy's, during his rant for the ages after a win, yes a win, over Texas Tech last September.

Fresh off its scintillating, edge-of-your-seat 39-33 win over then-No. 1 Texas, Tech Tech gets another huge Big 12 showdown when the No. 8-ranked Oklahoma State Cowboys come to Lubbock.

Now sitting at No. 2, Texas Tech is in position to reach the national championship game. Of course, the Red Raiders will have to circumnavigate (great word, eh?) a remaining schedule that also includes games against Oklahoma (in Norman) and a potential spot in the Big 12 title game.

That is just one of a handful of big games to look forward to this college football weekend. So, let's go ahead and pick some of those games ...

No. 2 Texas Tech over No. 8 Oklahoma State
No. 3 Penn State over Iowa
No. 5 Wisconsin-Whitewater over Wisconsin-Stout
No. 7 USC over No. 21 Cal
No. 22 Georgia Tech over No. 19 North Carolina

Upset pick of the week: No. 15 LSU over No. 1 Alabama. The Tigers would love to stick it to their old coach, Nick Saban, and ruin the Crimson Tide's national title hopes. Nobody gets through the SEC season undefeated, so Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff thinks this is an easy pick to make.

And our totally random college football pick of the week: No. 1 Mount Union faces No. 12 Otterbein in a huge D-III showdown with first place in the Ohio Athletic Conference on the line. Otterbein hasn't beaten Mount Union since 1977, and Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff doesn't anticipate that run coming to an end this year.

(For the record, last week Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff correctly predicted that Millsaps would get some amount of vengeance for last year's "Lateralpalooza" play against Trinity. And, they did! Millsaps pasted Trinity 56-27.)

Last week's record: 1-6 (only hit on the "Totally random" pick)
Overall record: 43-28

Kevin Garnett plays soccer, and that's newsworthy because ...

2008-11-03T17:54:00.000-08:00

"I don't have striker's skills. I just want the liberty of not only passing the ball but also the liberty of shooting the ball, or at least trying to be a striker." -- Kevin Garnett, on playing soccer.

Two and one half years ago, a very fun What if our greatest athletes played soccer? piece was written for FOXSports.com ahead of World Cup 2006, an international sporting event of epic proportions.

Turns out, this very intelligent writer was ahead of the curve.

On a "Dream Team" comprised totally of star athletes outside soccer, Kevin Garnett manned the goalkeeper position.

That was in make-believe happyland. In the real world, Garnett plays hoops but has taken up soccer as a form of cross training to prepare for play in the lesser sport of basketball.

Saturday Afternoon Pro Football Banter: Breaking news ... some big games this weekend

2008-11-01T15:45:00.001-07:00

"They are still the Dallas Cowboys. Everybody hates everybody in this league. This rivalry has gotten even more intense. They have been titled America’s Team, and they are coming to the Big Apple. So it should be fun.” -- Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce, on the Giants' opponent on Sunday.

The storyline is pretty simple here: Two losses in the last three games has the preseason Super Bowl favorite Cowboys at 5-3 and looking up at the defending Super Bowl champion Giants, who lead the NFC East at 6-1. Another loss for Dallas would be devastating for the team's division title hopes.

Yup, devastating. Especially considerin the relative strength of all the teams in the NFC East, the best division in professional football.

This isn't the only game America will be watching with great interest. Take, for instance, that big Monday night showdown in Landover, Md., where the Redskins hold the fate of America in their hands when they host the Steelers.

Before 2004, the Redskins had played a strange part in predicting the outcome of 15 straight U.S. presidential elections. When the Redskins lost their last home game prior to the election, the incumbent party also lost the White House. That streak came to an end in 2004, when the Packers beat the Redskins and two days later incumbent George W. Bush beat John Kerry in the election. Still, 15 of 16 elections have been correctly predicted by Redskins games. Think Obama will be rooting for the Steelers on Monday night?

Speaking of the Redskins and Steelers, these two teams are among the biggest movers in this week's Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings.

Let's check 'em out!

1. Tennessee Titans (Previously: 1) -- Some are already trying to break down possible Giants-Titans matchups for Super Bowl XLIII.

2. New York Giants (Previously: 2) -- Could really bury a bitter division rival with a win at the Meadowlands on Sunday.

3. Washington Redskins (Previously: 6) -- May just have to take one for America on Monday night.

4. Carolina Panthers (Previously: 8) -- Come out of this week's bye with games against the Raiders and Lions.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers (Previously: 3) -- May have Obama in their corner on Monday night.

6. New England Patriots (Previously: 9) -- Still have that look of the team to beat in the AFC East.

7. Buffalo Bills (Previously: 4) -- Which is the real Bills team? The one that opened the season 4-0? Or, the one that has gone 1-2 in its last three games?

8. Arizona Cardinals (Previously: 5) -- Kurt Warner going back to where all the magic began back in 1999.

9. Dallas Cowboys (Previously: NR) -- Terrell Owens appears on the brink of an explosion. Stay tuned ...

10. Chicago Bears (Previously: 10) -- Really happy to have picked up Kyle Orton a few weeks ago for the fantasy team.

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Previously: 7) -- Still not sure what to think of this team, especially after last week's disappointing showing in Dallas.

12. Green Bay Packers (Previously: 12) -- Will knock off undefeated Titans on Sunday (please see predictions below).

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Kansas City Chiefs -- Over there last 16 games, the Chiefs have lost 15.

31. Detroit Lions -- Over the last 15 games, the Lions have lost 14.

32. Cincinnati Bengals -- Remember that time when the Bengals won the AFC North and made the playoffs? That wasn't really all that long ago.

Week 9 picks

Bills over Jets
Bears over Lions
Jaguars over Bengals
Browns over Ravens
Buccaneers over Chiefs
Vikings over Texans
Cardinals over Rams
Packers over Titans
Broncos over Dolphins
Giants over Cowboys
Falcons over Raiders
Eagles over Seahawks
Patriots over Colts
Redskins over Steelers

Week 8 record: 8-6
Overall record: 72-44

This week's college football picks: Another big game for the Longhorns

2008-10-31T13:50:00.001-07:00

"The label of No. 1 is hard to get and it's really harder to keep." -- Texas coach Mack Brown, ahead of his team's huge colossus of a clash with Texas Tech.

For the fourth consecutive week, the Longhorns are taking on a top-10 ranked team. First, Texas beat then-No. 1 Oklahoma. The next week, Texas worked No. 11 Missouri. Last week, the Longhorns edged No. 7 Oklahoma State. This week, the 'Horns face No. 6 Texas Tech in the land of Friday Night Lights in West Texas. Texas Tech folks are calling this showdown "the biggest game in school history." That seems to be a phrase thrown around quite a bit these days.

Last year, Texas beat Texas Tech 59-43 in a shootout. Expect much the same this time around, too, which should be great fun for TV viewers who just happen to be dialed into ABC at 5 p.m. Santa Monica standard time (SMST).

Let's pick some games that will be taking place on the collegiate gridirons this Saturday ...

No. 1 Texas over No. 6 Texas Tech
No. 8 Georgia over No. 5 Florida
No. 16 Florida State over Georgia Tech (really wanted to pick an upset here, FYI, FWIW)
No. 20 Minnesota over Northwestern (yes, the Golden Gophers are ranked)
Wisconsin over No. 22 Michigan State

Upset pick of the week: UNLV over No. 12 TCU ... Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff would hate to see a potential BCS buster fall in an upset, but the very good possibility exists that TCU could be looking past the Runnin' Rebs to a showdown with No. 10-ranked Utah next week that will likely determine the Mountain West winner and send said winner to a BCS bowl game to be decided (but, most likely not the national title game).

And our totally random college football pick of the week: 7-0 Millsaps and 7-0 Trinity, No. 5 and No. 14 respectively, in D3football.com top 25, meet in a rematch of last year's miracle finish on a 15-lateral play that has been dubbed "the Lateralpalooza" and the "Mississippi Miracle". Millsaps will put its nine-game, conference road winning streak on the line against Trinity, and we reckon the Majors will be prepared for anything this time around and get some small amount of revenge for last year's debacle.

Last week's record: 2-5 (ouchy!)
Overall record: 42-22

Move World Series Game 5 to Miller Park!

2008-10-28T11:23:00.000-07:00

Rain, rain, go away,
Come again some other day,
We want to go outside and play,
Come again some other day.

Game 5 of the World Series won't resume on Tuesday as planned, so be prepared to watch re-runs of the Simpsons, King of the Hill and Married with Children.

With rain still falling on peoples' heads in Philadelphia, and expected to do so for quite some time, here's a suggestion for Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig ...

Move the game to Miller Park!

No threat of a rainout there.

Of course, there's always the threat that the Astros could protest even though they're not playing.

Saturday Afternoon Pregame Show: Chasing history, or infamy, you decide

2008-10-25T15:53:00.001-07:00

"The Buccaneers resembled a fraternity football team well into their third keg of beer." -- NFL Films, on the 1976 expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who finished 0-14.

Last season, the New England Patriots came within one loss in arguably the most exhilarating Super Bowl ever played from completing the greatest season in NFL history.

This season, there are two teams chasing NFL history.

The Cincinnati Bengals and Detroit Lions both promise to make a run at exceeding the '76 Buccaneers' 0-14 infamy.

And, before you all go, "but wait second here, Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff, it's just Week 8 and these two teams each have 10 more games to play," consider this ...

The Lions must play the rest of their season with a backup quarterback running the offense. The Lions have already traded away their most dangerous offensive threat, dealing WR Roy Williams to the Cowboys for a collection of draft picks and a bag of new footballs (not so much the balls, really, but that might as well have been a part of the deal).

The Bengals are dysfunctional, but what may be worse is news that quarterback Carson Palmer may be out for the season.

Let's check out the remaining schedules ...

For the Lions: vs. Redskins, at Bears, vs. Jaguars, at Panthers, vs. Buccaneers, vs. Titans, vs. Vikings, at Colts, vs. Saints, at Packers. At least eight of those teams figure to be in the playoff hunt for much of the duration of the season. Even NFL Network's Adam Schefter is getting discouraged by the Lions' chances.

For the Bengals: at Texans, vs. Jaguars, vs. Eagles, at Steelers, vs. Ravens, at Colts, vs. Redskins, at Browns, vs. Chiefs. The most winable games in that slate are this weekend in Houston, and the finale against Kansas City.

Astute football observers will remember 2001. That year, the Lions came dangerously close to 0-16 infamy, going 0-12 before beating the Vikings in Week 14 en route to a 2-14 record. The Bengals recently went 2-14 too, back in 2002. The next April, the Bengals would draft Palmer No. 1 overall and begin a slow trek back to respectibility, which has now quickly crumbled back to pre-Palmer era dispicability.

While the Bengals and Lions are secure in their spots in the "Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer" drop zone, let's check out how the the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings fill out.

Important note!: The Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings include three very basic components: overall win-loss record, how good teams did against other good teams, and my own profound opinion. Each component will count one-third (more or less or so) of a team's overall Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM score in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM standings.

Here are the latest Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings of the season (just the top 12, or the number of teams that would make the playoffs if the playoff teams were based totally on the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM formula, which isn't really a formula at all because we're not that good at math and don't trust a computer with a sketchy Firewall) ...

1. Tennessee Titans (Previously: 1) -- Have put Colts -- their opponent this week -- in an unfamiliar spot ... looking up at another team in the AFC South standings.

2. New York Giants (Previously: 2) -- Face a Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM-busting matchup with the Steelers in a possible Super Bowl XLIII preview.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (Previously: 3) -- An unstoppable force collides with an immovable object when the Giants' top-ranked rushing offense meets the NFL's top-ranked defense. Can't wait to see how this game is going to unfold!

4. Buffalo Bills (Previously: 5) -- Off to best start since 1995, but finally face a team in their own division this week.
5. Arizona Cardinals (Previously: 4) -- Came back down to earth during bye week, enter Sunday's game against the Panthers as underdogs.

6. Washington Redskins (Previously: 6) -- Redskins have won 18 of the past 20 against the Lions, their Week 8 opponent.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Previously: 9) -- Coach Jon Gruden took a break from preparing for the Cowboys by announcing the World Series Game 2 lineup for the Tampa Bay Rays.

8. Carolina Panthers (Previously: 10) -- Will try to prevent the Cardinals from getting off to their best start in 32 years.

9. New England Patriots (Previously: NR) -- Will Pats be the third consecutive upset victim of coach Jim Haslett's new-look, and suddenly competitive Rams?

10. Chicago Bears (Previously: NR) -- Probably didn't really need it, but Bears get an extra week to prepare for the Lions.

11. Atlanta Falcons (Previously: 11) -- Have been one of the NFL's most pleasant surprises in the early stages of this season, don't expect their Week 8 opponent -- the Eagles -- to have that warm and fuzzy feeling when they host the Falcons.

12. Green Bay Packers (Previously: NR) -- Just thoroughly dominated the team formerly known as the best in the AFC South.
Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Kansas City Chiefs -- So desperate for help at quarterback that they've placed a call to the retired Daunte Culpepper.

31. Detroit Lions -- Once went 34 years without winning a game against the Redskins, their Week 8 opponent.

32. Cincinnati Bengals -- Here's hope for Cincy: The Texans, the Bengals' Week 8 opponent, have never beaten the Bengals. Of course, the two teams have only played each other three times.

Week 8 picks

Ravens over Raiders
Bills over Dolphins
Panthers over Cardinals
Buccaneers over Cowboys
Chargers over Saints
Eagles over Falcons
Jets over Chiefs
Patriots over Rams
Redskins over Lions
Texans over Bengals
Jaguars over Browns
Steelers over Giants
49ers over Seahawks
Titans over Colts

Week 7 record: 10-4 (best week yet!)
Overall record: 64-38

This week's college football picks: Big Ten showdown in 'The Horseshoe'

2008-10-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

"The minute you think you've got it made, disaster is just around the corner." -- Joe Paterno.

The 81-year-old living legend has the Nittany Lions playing at an extremely high level and facing Ohio State in the game of the day.

The winner is in the driver's seat toward the Big Ten title and an automatic place in a Bowl Championship Series game.

The loser likely loses out on a BCS bowl bid.

The stakes are high, and so is the hype. As our friends at CollegeFootballNews.com write, "the world revolves around Penn State and Ohio State, and for the BCS and the national title chase, this will be a key piece of the puzzle."

Ohio State has dominated this series of late -- winning five of the last six showdowns -- and with this game being played in the "old horseshoe," it's hard to imagine that trend changing, regardless of Penn State's start this season.

Let's get on with it and pick some college football winners ...

No. 1 Texas over No. 7 Oklahoma State
No. 2 Wisconsin-Whitewater over Wisconsin-Stevens Point
No. 9 Georgia over No. 11 LSU
No. 10 Ohio State over No. 3 Penn State
No. 19 Kansas over No. 8 Texas Tech

Upset pick of the week: Arizona over No. 6 USC. The Trojans opened at No. 5 in the first BCS standings, and could very easily be playing in the national title game as a one-loss team by default because the competition in the Pac-10 is so weak and teams from much stronger conferences -- Big 12, SEC -- face much tougher competition, thus opening those teams up more for defeat. Arizona poses as one of the most serious threats to that goal for Troy, and we're rooting for them to pull off that upset simply because a Pac-10 team doesn't deserve to be playing for the national title.

And our totally random college football pick of the week: When in doubt, go see who the Colorado School of Mines -- one of our favorite small-college teams -- has this weekend, and they have a doozy against Chadron State. We have the host -- Chadron State -- sitting at 6-0 in the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference and the Orediggers sitting at 5-1 in the RMAC. Still, for sentimental reasons, we have to go with the Colorado School of Mines in a slight upset.

Last week's record: 5-2
Overall record: 40-17

This week's college football picks: Simply can't wait to watch this game!

2008-10-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

Missouri hasn't won at the University of Texas since 1896.

That was before the advent of the forward pass ... and the huddle ... and Joe Paterno ... and Army-Navy games on black-and-white TV ... and quarterbacks with radios in their helmets ... and, well, you get it!

Missouri is 0-10 all-time against No. 1 teams.

Still, we just have a feeling about those Tigers coming off a painful loss to Oklahoma State.

With that in mind, let's pick some college football winners ...

No. 2 Wisconsin-Whitewater over Wisconsin-Oshkosh
No. 4 Oklahoma over No. 16 Kansas
No. 10 Georgia over No. 22 Vanderbilt
No. 20 Michigan State over No. 12 Ohio State
Arizona over No. 25 California

Upset pick of the week: We're picking a lot of upsets this week, but none will be more BCS-busting than No. 11 Missouri over No. 1 Texas. Simply cannot wait to watch this game.

And our totally random college football pick of the week: It's homecoming week for the Fighting Souix, so it's a no-brainer to pick North Dakota to beat the visitors from Western Washington.

Last week's record: 4-3

Overall record: 35-14

Tuesday Early Evening Cliboard-holding Quarterback: One crazy autumn Sunday

2008-10-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

"I'm kind of, like, blank. I don't know if I want to cry or laugh." -- Rams linebacker Pisa Tinoisamoa, after the Rams got their first win of the season by beating the Redskins.

During a manic 15 minutes or so, four of eight 1 p.m. ET Week 6 games were decided in the final 10 seconds. NFL.com veteran Gil Brandt said that was the first time since the merger in 1970 that as many as four games have been decided in that fashion. Brandt's been in the game for a long time, so we'll take his word for it.

In all, there have been 27 fourth-quarter comebacks this season in 81 games, an impressive 33 percent of the matchups.

That's a good percentage of games that go down to the wire.

Let's recap the mayhem of Week 6 ...

The Falcons gave up what appeared to be the game-winning touchdown with 11 seconds remaining, only to kick a game-winning field goal as time expired.

In snapping an eight-game losing streak dating back to last season with a last-second field goal by Josh Brown, the Rams won despite being held to eight first downs and 200 total yards of offense.

Matt Schaub's game-winning touchdown with three seconds remaining gave the quarterback his second career fourth-quarter comeback victory. Both of those comeback wins have come against the Dolphins.

Sure, the Vikings won with a field goal with nine seconds remaining, but much of what transpired in the previous 59-plus minutes wasn't as appealing. Both teams combined for 11 sacks, 17 punts and just a 5-for-28 conversion rate on third downs.

Later, the Cardinals beat the Cowboys in an overtime thriller.

Those results profoundly affect this week's Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings. Let's take a look ...

1. Tennessee Titans (Previously: 2) -- Manhandled bye week, overtook Giants for top spot.

2. New York Giants (Previously: 1) -- Sure didn't look like a defending Super Bowl champion while getting roughed up by the Browns.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (Previously: 5) -- Bye week made Steelers look much better than they looked a week ago.

4. Arizona Cardinals (Previously: NR) -- Became first team ever to win in overtime on a touchdown scored on a blocked punt. More importantly, Cardinals did it against the Cowboys, which would explain this rapid rise up the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings.

5. Buffalo Bills (Previously: 8) -- Move up significantly without playing ... are you beginning to sense a trend?

6. Washington Redskins (Previously: 3) -- Tough to pick winner in Redskins' next game, at home versus the Browns, who are coming off an impressive win against the team that sent the 18-0 Patriots to the abyss of Super Bowl losers. The Redskins, on the other hand, lost to the previously winless Rams at home after beating three tough division opponents on the road.

7. Dallas Cowboys (Previously: 6) -- Pulled off something football fans don't see too often. No, we're not talking about that loss to the Cardinals, silly. Dallas pulled off the rarely seen blockbuster deal at the NFL's trading deadline by acquiring Roy Williams from the Lions.

8. Denver Broncos (Previously: 4) -- How much longer can the Broncos hold off the Chargers for that top spot in the AFC West?

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Previously: 11) -- Pushed around the Panthers, a team not known as being pushovers. They might not be really grumpy about that ... watch out Saints!

10. Carolina Panthers (Previously: 7) -- Could have made a real statement last week against the Buccaneers. Instead, the Panthers made the wrong kind of one, scoring their fewest amount of points since a 37-3 loss to the Steelers on Dec. 7, 2006.

11. Atlanta Falcons (Previously: 12) -- Yogi Berra used to say, "It ain't over till it's over," and the Falcons put that expression to good use Sunday in an alarming turnaround of epic proportions. You can watch highlights here of the absolute madness that took place in Atlanta.

12. Indianapolis Colts (Previously: NR) -- Were rude hosts of the Ravens on Sunday, racking up 334 total net yards against a supposedly great Ravens defense.

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Kansas City Chiefs -- Didn't give up on season by trading Pro Bowl tight end Tony Gonzalez.

31. Detroit Lions -- Totally just gave up by dealing Pro Bowl receiver Roy Williams to the Cowboys. Thankfully for my fantasy team, that can only mean more balls being thrown in the general direction of Calvin Johnson.

32. Cincinnati Bengals -- Play Chiefs in Week 17 for what could be a showdown for the No. 1 overall pick.

Week 7 picks

Ravens over Dolphins
Chargers over Bills
Panthers over Saints
Steelers over Bengals
Bears over Vikings
Giants over 49ers
Cowboys over Rams
Titans over Chiefs
Texans over Lions
Jets over Raiders
Redskins over Browns
Colts over Packers
Buccaneers over Seahawks
Patriots over Broncos

Week 6 record: 7-7
Overall record: 54-34

Saturday Afternoon NFL Pregame Show: What's old is new again

2008-10-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

"What would happen if someone came out with a single-wing offense? It would embarrass the hell out of us." -- Vince Lombardi.

The forward pass is so 2007.

The NFL’s latest craze is a twist on an offense used back when players wore helmets without facemasks.

With the Dolphins running a variation of the single-wing offense, teams will be forced to prepare for the ghosts of Jim Thorpe, Red Grange. Johnny "Blood" McNally and Bronko Nagurski. The Dolphins’ two-week “Wildcat” odyssey has pulled the sophisticated and calculated NFL back to its muddy roots.

Many have pinpointed that the Dolphins got the inspiration for the "Wildcat" offense from Arkansas, which used it successfully with running back Darren McFadden lining up at quarterback and throwing opposing defenses off guard.

Perhaps.

We here think new Dolphins GM/Grand Master Bill Parcells was watching some youth football games in his free time before returning to the NFL.

Many pee wee football teams run the single-wing offense, and perhaps a Saturday afternoon at the local park gave the Dolphins enough inspiraton. See for yourself ...

Or, perhaps the Dolphins watched this football instructional film ...

Whatever the case may be, it's great to see the modern game digging into its glorious past for inspiration.

Let's take this week's gander at how the NFL power rankings would look like if it were like the BCS (well, kinda ... it has much less computer-generated controversy).

Important note!: The Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings include three very basic components: overall win-loss record, how good teams did against other good teams, and my own profound opinion. Each component will count one-third (more or less or so) of a team's overall Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM score in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM standings.

Here are the latest Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings of the season (just the top 12, or the number of teams that would make the playoffs if the playoff teams were based totally on the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM formula, which isn't really a formula at all because we're not that good at math and don't trust a computer with a sketchy Firewall) ...

1. New York Giants (Previously: 1) -- Have not lost to the Browns in Cleveland since 1973.

2. Tennessee Titans (Previously: 6) -- There are no style points in the NFL, and no team is making this point clearer than the Titans, who are off to their first 5-0 start in franchise history (which dates back to 1960, when the Houston Oilers debuted in the old American Football League).

3. Washington Redskins (Previously: 11) -- Jim Zorn's "hip, hip, hooray" cheer may be corny, but winning is totally cool.

4. Denver Broncos (Previously: 5) -- Already two games up on second-place San Diego, which is struggling to string together wins.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers (Previously: 7) -- Get a much-needed bye week after slugging out a win over the Jaguars.

6. Dallas Cowboys (Previously: 2) -- Barely beat the Bengals (see No. 32 below), and that's not going over very well in Big D.

7. Carolina Panthers (Previously: NR) -- Have a Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM-buster game against the Buccaneers this weekend.

8. Buffalo Bills (Previously: 4) -- Really need Trent Edwards to recover from his concussion suffered early in last week's 41-17 debacle at University of Phoenix Stadium.

9. New England Patriots (Previously: NR) -- Came off a bye week strong against San Francisco.

10. Chicago Bears (Previously: NR) -- Kyle Orton has Da Bears sitting atop the NFC North and looking more like the Bears team of 2006 that advanced to the Super Bowl than the 2007 team that finished a disappointing 7-9.

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Previously: 10) -- Facing a colossus of a showdown against the Panthers.

12. Atlanta Falcons (Previously: NR) -- Grew up in a hurry with a tough win on the road at legendary Lambeau Field.

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Detroit Lions -- Things have gotten so bad that Detroit fans are longing for the days of Wayne Fontes.

31. St. Louis Rams -- Jim Haslett replaces Scott Linehan, but has a brutal stretch ahead ... at Washington, vs. Dallas, at New England.

32. Cincinnati Bengals -- There's something chicken-soup-for-the-soul heartwarming and refreshing about the Bengals being back among the NFL's doormats.

Week 6 picks

Bears over Falcons
Dolphins over Texans
Colts over Ravens
Vikings over Lions
Saints over Raiders
Jets over Bengals
Panthers over Buccaneers
Redskins over Rams
Broncos over Jaguars
Cowboys over Cardinals
Eagles over 49ers
Packers over Seahawks
Chargers over Patriots
Giants over Browns

Week 5 record: 8-6
Overall record: 47-27

This week's college football picks: Gotta watch this OU-Texas game!

2008-10-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

We're one hour and 10 minutes from kickoff at the Cotton Bowl for the biggest game of the year so far ... the annual renewal of the "Red River Rivalry," Oklahoma vs. Texas.

Can't wait to watch this showdown.

So, going to make this quick so we can make a good, hearty breakfast before this game kicks off.

Let's pick some college football winners ...

No. 1 Oklahoma over No. 5 Texas
No. 2 Wisconsin-Whitewater over Wisconsin-River Falls
No. 3 Missouri over No. 17 Oklahoma State
No. 11 Florida over No. 4 LSU
No. 22 North Carolina over Notre Dame

Upset pick of the week: Wisconsin over No. 6 Penn State. The Nittany Lions' roaring "Spread HD" offense could have a hard time against the Badgers' stingy defense at Camp Randall Stadium.

And our totally random college football pick of the week: Bridgewater State over Framingham State ... just dig the schools with "State" in the title which you can't figure out which state the school actually resides in. In the eight-team Northeast Football Conference Bogan Division, five have "State" in the title ... Bridgewater State, Fitchburg State, Framingham State, Westfield State, Worcester State. Can you name which state(s) these schools call home? Well, all five of these schools reside in the state of Massachusetts. Fascinating! We'll likely revisit this topic in the future.

Last week's record: 6-1

Overall record: 31-11 (doing a far better job picking college football games this season than NFL games)

NFL Week 5 picks: Place recreational bets accordingly

2008-10-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

Due to time constraints, the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings will not take place and will return next ... we promise.

It's a whole lotta fun to make some football picks, and here are this week's attempt at pigskin prognostication ...

Week 5 picks

Titans over Ravens
Panthers over Chiefs
Bears over Lions
Falcons over Packers
Colts over Texans
Chargers over Dolphins
Giants over Seahawks
Redskins over Eagles
Buccaneers over Broncos
Bills over Cardinals
Cowboys over Bengals
49ers over Patriots
Jaguars over Steelers
Saints over Vikings

Week 4 record: 7-6 (ouch! Losing credibility fast here)
Overall record: 39-21

This week's college football picks: First Annual Football Conference Rankings

2008-10-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

Year in, and year out, sports fans like to debate.

This can happen at the local sports bar, or during dinner, or while around the ol' watercooler.

This debate will take place on an award-winning sports blog.

This one comes up every autumn, and can be debated weekly.

This week, as a public service to all, Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff^TM sets the record straight.

Here are the First Annual Football Conference Rankings:

1. National Football Conference
2. American Football Conference
3. SEC
4. Big 12
5. Big Ten
6. Mountain West
7. Pac-10
6. Big East
7. ACC
8. WAC
9. Conference USA
10. MAC
11. Sun Belt

You may notice that the Mountain West is ranked pretty high. Respect.

Let's pick some college football winners ...

No. 2 Wisconsin-Whitewater over Wisconsin-La Crosse
No. 4 Missouri over Nebraska
No. 9 USC over No. 23 Oregon
No. 19 Vanderbilt over No. 13 Auburn
No. 14 Ohio State over No. 18 Wisconsin

Upset pick of the week: Well, Vandy over Auburn would count as an upset, but let's go with ... North Carolina over No. 24 Connecticut

And our totally random college football pick of the week: MIT over UMass-Dartmouth in a big one in the Northeast Football Conference Boyd Division. This would be an upset of sorts, since the Cosairs have won eight consecutive games in this series. Just a hunch here that the Engineers pull this one off. Just a hunch.

Last week's record: 5-2 (nailed both the upset and totally-random picks of the week! That's huge!)

Overall record: 25-10

This week's college football picks: Hurray for the underdog!

2008-09-26T12:03:00.001-07:00

Oregon State got this week's slate of college gridiron action off to a rousing start with a 27-21 shocker over what will be previously No. 1 USC.

This is the same Oregon State team that lost by 31 to Penn State one week after a mild upset at the hands of Stanford.

America likes an underdog, especially one that can pull off a monumental, poll-shattering, seismatic upset. Hopefully, the fun will continue throughout the weekend (but, not so much in games involving teams we root for here).

Let's pick some college football winners ...

No. 2 Wisconsin-Whitewater over Puget Sound (in this week's "Bad Idea of the Week," the Loggers scheduled the defending Division III champions as their "Homecoming" game)
No. 9 Wisconsin over Michigan
No. 12 Penn State over No. 22 Illinois
No. 25 Fresno State over UCLA
Purdue over Notre Dame

Upset pick of the week: Oregon State over No. 1 USC (nailed it!). Just kidding ... LOL! LOLOLOL! Just got a hunch on this one ... No. 8 Alabama over No. 3 Georgia. It would be sweet to see another BCS favorite fall.

And our totally random college football pick of the week: Colorado School of Mines over Colorado State University-Pueblo. It's the Orediggers versus the ThunderWolves. Can you guess which school has what nickname?

Last week's record: 3-3 (missing on upset pick, and totally random pick, really hurts)

Overall record: 20-8

Monday Night Nose Tackle: Patriots get dose of comeuppence

2008-09-22T19:54:00.000-07:00

"Karma is a funny thing." -- Earl Hickey, My Name is Earl.

A funny thing happened Sunday.

The Miami Dolphins administered a shocking, yet very satisfying, pants-down spanking of the New England Patriots. A team that won one game in 2007 whipped the team that had won an NFL-record 21 consecutive regular-season games.

For the record, the Patriots outscored the Dolphins 77-35 in their two meetings last season, including a 28-point second quarter in a 49-28 Week 7 win in Miami. Many accused the Patriots of running up the score.

The way the Dolphins -- 0-2 going into Sunday -- worked the Patriots in a 38-13 win Sunday was the clearest evidence yet that the Patriots' problems go deeper than at quarterback.

Let's go inside the numbers ...

» In ending the Patriots' 21-game regular-season win streak, the Dolphins ended their own 11-game road losing streak.
» The Patriots' 22-point loss was the second-largest under coach Bill Belichick at home (Patriots lost by 24 to the Chargers on Oct. 2, 2005).
» The Patriots allowed 461 yards, the fourth-highest total under Belichick (highest since allowing 478 yards in a 35-28 win over the Bengals on Dec. 12, 2004).
» Sunday marked the first time since 1993 that the Patriots allowed four rushing touchdowns in a game. The Patriots allowed five against the Jets on Sept. 26, 1993.
» The Patriots were outgained by 245 yards -- 461 to 216 -- and the defense allowed 8.1 yards per play.
» The Dolphins ran six direct snap plays to Ronnie Brown at QB, and those plays resulted in four touchdowns and 119 yards.

It was written in this spot just two weeks ago that Tom Brady's season-ending injury may also mean the end of the Patriots as we've known them for the past few years.

"They outplayed us. They outcoached us. They obviously deserved to win. They were the better team," Patriots coach Bill Belichick said after the game.

While the Dolphins move out of the "Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer" drop zone, the Patriots fall out of the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings.

With that in mind, let's take this week's gander at how the NFL power rankings would look like if it were like the BCS (well, kinda ... it has much less computer-generated controversy).

Important note!: The Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings include three very basic components: overall win-loss record, how good teams did against other good teams, and my own profound opinion. Each component will count one-third (more or less or so) of a team's overall Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM score in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM standings.

Here are the latest Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings of the season (just the top 12, or the number of teams that would make the playoffs if the playoff teams were based totally on the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM formula, which isn't really a formula at all because we're not that good at math and don't trust a computer with a sketchy Firewall) ...

1. New York Giants (Last week: 1) -- Worked overtime to beat the hapless Bengals. But this isn't like the college football polls, there are no style points in the NFL. Just get the win.

2. Dallas Cowboys (Last week: 2) -- Collected their first-ever win at Lambeau Field (1-5 all-time, including playoffs).

3. Philadelphia Eagles (Last week: 4) -- One series of plays in the second quarter was indicative of the frustrations experienced by the Steelers against the stingy Eagles defense. In an eight-play stretch, the Steelers gave up five sacks, committed a false start penalty and threw an interception.

4. Buffalo Bills (Last week: 7) -- Up next: The 0-3 Rams.

5. Denver Broncos (Last week: 8) -- This week's "Thank You!" card goes to Martin Gramatica, who missed a potential go-ahead field goal with just under two minutes left in the game. In all, Gramatica missed two field goal attempts for the Saints.

6. Tennessee Titans (Last week: 12) -- Kerry Collins' play may give Vince Young a permanent spot on the bench.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers (Last week: 3) -- Were humbled by the Eagles, and subsequently dropped in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM accordingly.

8. Baltimore Ravens (Last week: NR) -- Dropped rival Browns to second 0-3 start in two seasons.

9. Green Bay Packers (Last week: 6) -- Have a lot of work to do before they can compete with the NFC's best.

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last week: NR) -- When did the Buccaneers install the run-and-shoot offense? Brian Griese attempted 67 passes against the Bears.

11. Washington Redskins (Last week: NR) -- In beating the Cardinals for the seventh consecutive time, the Redskins halted the Cardinals' NFL-best streak of scoring 20-plus points at 10 games.

12. San Francisco 49ers (Last week: NR) -- The "Greatest Show on Turf" has hit the West Coast. Faced with a fourth-and-goal situation at the Lions' 1-yard line, 49ers offensive coordinator Mike Martz called for an end around that Allen Rossum took in for a score that gave the 49ers a pivotal late-game score.

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Detroit Lions -- This may and/or may not be news, but Matt Millen's job appears in jeopardy.

31. St. Louis Rams -- Have been outscored by opponents 116-29 this season.

32. Kansas City Chiefs -- Continuing with the pro football misery in Missouri, the Chiefs have lost 12 consecutive games, extending their franchise worst streak.

Week 4 picks:

Panthers over Falcons
Bengals over Browns
Jaguars over Texans
Titans over Vikings
Broncos over Chiefs
Saints over 49ers
Packers over Buccaneers
Cardinals over Jets
Chargers over Raiders
Bills over Rams
Cowboys over Redskins
Eagles over Bears
Steelers over Ravens

Week 3 record: 12-4
Overall record: 32-15

1908

2008-09-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

"Whoever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have?" -- Chicago Cubs first baseman/manager Frank Chance, 1908.

The Chicago Cubs clinched the NL Central title Saturday, and currently sport the National League's best record.

Many figure the Cubs to be the favorite out of the NL to reach the World Series, if not win it.

Unless you're new to this whole baseball thing and haven't quite grasped its extravagant history, the Cubs winning the World Series would be an epic occasion (sorta-kinda like when the Boston Red Sox won it four years ago and exorcised a certain "curse").

One hundred years ago, in front of the smallest crowd in World Series history (6,210 fans were at Detroit's Bennett Park that day), the Cubs beat the Detroit Tigers 2-0 in Game 5 of the 1908 World Series. It was the team's second consecutive World Series win, and many figured that the Cubs -- who had lost the Series in 1906 -- would win many more.

Years passed ...

Many more years passed ...

Somewhere along the line, the Cubs acquired the "Curse of the Billy Goat".

We're not here to rub salt in the wounds of Cubs fans who have endured this anguish. We're here to put this into proper historical perspective. What was life like the last time the Cubs won the World Series?

HDTV? In 1908, fans couldn't even catch their favorite team on the radio.

Got a boo-boo? You're out of luck. There were no Band-Aids in 1908.

In 1908, baseball players didn't wear numbers of the backs of their jerseys, or anywhere else for that matter.

In 1908, the National Football League wasn't even a figment of somebody's imagination.

In 1908, the cost of a gallon of gas was two cents. A first-class stamp also cost just two cents.

In 1908, Henry Ford developed the first Model T automobile, which then sold for $850 (on a side note, the Model T went 25 miles per gallon of gasoline, which is more fuel efficient than the current Ford Explorer, which manages just 16 miles per gallon).

In 1908, you could buy a handy, and, get this, electrically powered invention called a "toaster" for $1.45. Sure, that's a great price, but unfortunately only 10 percent of America had power in 1908.

In 1908, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" made its debut after being written by a man who had never before even been to a game.

In 1908, Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird, was born.

So was actor Jimmy Stewart, President Lyndon B. Johnson and legendary NFL coach Paul Brown.

In 1908, Henry Chadwick, often referred to as "the father of baseball" and inventor of the box score, passed away.

And last, but certainly not least ...

In 1908, Ottoman Empire still existed. We just don't have empires anymore, having seen the last of their kind thanks to the results of two World Wars. Speaking of World Wars, it was just after the second one when the Cubs made their last World Series appearance. It was 1945, and the Cubs lost in seven games to the Tigers.

This week's college football picks: Do we really have to watch LSU-Auburn?

2008-09-19T12:57:00.001-07:00

Thanks for nothing, Ohio State.

And, now this week's big matchup includes a team that managed to win its last game 3-2.

3-2!

In football!

That's Auburn's "War Eagle" defense at work. This week, Auburn hosts LSU, which hasn't beaten the Tigers in Jordan-Hare Stadium since 1998. That's an eternity in college football. Back in 1998, "Notre Dame football" and "national powerhouse" could be said without being following by laughter.

Let's pick some college football winners ...

No. 4 Florida over Tennessee
No. 6 LSU over No. 10 Auburn
No. 15 East Carolina over N.C. State
No. 18 Wake Forest over No. 24 Florida State

Upset pick of the week: Air Force over No. 20 Utah

And our totally random college football pick of the week: Lakeland College over Carthage College. Sure, the Muskies are 0-2 and Carthage may have administered a 70-46 whipping on Hope College last week, but it's hard to pick against the defending Illini-Badger Football Conference champions playing at home at venerable John Taylor Field in Howards Grove, Wis.

Last week's record: 5-2

Overall record: 17-5

Tuesday Afternoon WILL Linebacker: Some intelligent commentary on pro football

2008-09-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

"This was the best crew that we have had in the last 20 crews I have graded." -- Broncos coach Mike Shanahan, who showed his sarcastic side when commenting on the referees whose botched calls gave Denver a controversial victory over San Diego.

... And we thought Week 1 was totally nuts.

Sure, there were some great fourth-quarter comebacks, but what will stick out from Week 2 -- and be its everlasting legacy (like that?) -- will be Ed Hochuli's botched call that gave the Broncos another shot at scoring the game-winning touchdown against the Chargers, who open this season with two heartbreaking, last-minute defeats.

That ~~tainted~~ win helps the Broncos vault up into the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings. With that in mind, let's take this week's gander at how the NFL power rankings would look like if it were like the BCS (well, kinda ... it has much less computer-generated controversy, only a couple user errors here or there).

Important note!: The Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings include three very basic components: overall win-loss record, how good teams did against other good teams, and my own profound opinion. Each component will count one-third (more or less or so) of a team's overall Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM score in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM standings.

Here are the latest Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings of the season (just the top 12, or the number of teams that would make the playoffs if the playoff teams were based totally on the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM formula, which isn't really a formula at all because we're not that good at math and don't trust a computer with a sketchy Firewall) ...

1. New York Giants (Trend: -) -- Now riding a 12-game winning streak in non-home games (including three playoff wins, and that win in Super Bowl XLII).

2. Dallas Cowboys (Trend: +) -- Aaron Rodgers' next test: Facing the talented Cowboys in front of another national TV prime-time audience.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (Trend: +) -- Proved on Sunday that they are still the class of the AFC North.

4. Philadelphia Eagles (Trend: +) -- Big game for the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings on Sunday ... Pittsburgh at Philadelphia. Or, just a big game period. You decide.

5. New England Patriots (Trend: +) -- How demoralizing is Sunday's loss against the Patriots for the Jets? They spent a small nation's gross national product on high-priced free agents this offseason, trade for future Hall of Famer Brett Favre, then see their principal rival's super-duper star quarterback go down to a season-ending injury, only to go on to lose to his replacement, who just happened to be making his first start since high school.

6. Green Bay Packers (Trend: +) -- It appears Packers management knew exactly what it was doing when it told Favre "thanks, but no thanks, we're cool with Aaron Rodgers" when the all-time passing leader opted to unretire just ahead of training camp.

7. Buffalo Bills (Trend: +) -- Beat two 2007 playoff teams to open this season. Unfortunately, they can't make it three straight, since the Raiders come to town in Week 3.

8. Denver Broncos (Trend: +) -- Referee Ed Hochuli to Chargers coach Norv Turner on Sunday, "Umm coach, uh, oopsy daisy?"

9. Indianapolis Colts (Trend: +) -- It took approximately six quarters, but it appears that potent Colts passing game is back on track. Here's some visual evidence.

10. Carolina Panthers (Trend: +) -- Carolina is now 2-for-2 on fourth-quarter comebacks.

11. Arizona Cardinals (Trend: +) -- Not long ago, this perennial doormat was a regular in the category below.

12. Tennessee Titans (Trend: +) -- Started a season 2-0 for the first time since 1999, which, just happens to be the last -- and only -- time the Titans advanced to the Super Bowl.

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Miami Dolphins -- Made the Arizona Cardinals look like legitimate Super Bowl contenders on Sunday.

31. St. Louis Rams -- At least they still have Torry Holt.

32. Kansas City Chiefs -- Got blown out by the Raiders. Let's repeat this for effect: Got blown out by the Raiders. Again: Got blown out by the Raiders.

Week 3 predictions

Falcons over Chiefs
Bills over Raiders
Bears over Buccaneers
Vikings over Panthers
Patriots over Dolphins
Giants over Bengals
Titans over Texans
Redskins over Cardinals
Broncos over Saints
49ers over Lions
Seahawks over Rams
Browns over Ravens
Colts over Jaguars
Eagles over Steelers
Cowboys over Packers
Chargers over Jets

Week 2 record: 11-4
Overall record: 20-11

UCLA is probably feeling some shame right now

2008-09-13T16:57:00.000-07:00

"Adversity builds character." -- Message written on a board in UCLA's locker room after the school's worst loss in a game of football since 1929.

No. 18 BYU gave UCLA a 59-0 pants-down spanking on Saturday.

It was the Bruins' worst loss since a 76-0 defeat at the hands of hated rival USC in 1929, back when the forward pass was a new, revolutionary strategy in the game and players played both ways.

It's a shameful result for a Bruins team that upset then 18th-ranked Tennessee at the Rose Bowl just two weeks ago.

To make the Bruins feel better -- and a little less shame than they already must be feeling -- here are the top 10 other pants-down spankings administered in the college football world this weekend ...

1. Tennessee-Martin 87, Concordia College (Ala.) 21
2. Troy 65, Alcorn State 0
3. Fayetteville State 63, Lincoln (Pa.) 0
4. IUP 63, Millersville 3
5. Augustana 59, Minnesota-Crookston 0
6. Jacksonville 52, Campbell 0
7t. Utah 58, Utah State 10
7t. St. Norbert 55, Grinnell 7
9. Monmouth 47, Lawrence 2
10. Oklahoma State 57, Missouri State 13

So, there you have it UCLA, Minnesota-Crookston took just as bad a beating.

This week's college football picks: The other big game

2008-09-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

"When you go on the road, it's an opportunity for you to define yourself, what you are when no one else is around." -- Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema, on Saturday's showdown with Fresno State.

All week, the sporting public has been very interested in that "Collision in the Coliseum" Ohio State-Southern California matchup on Saturday, but the more compelling game may be taking place more than 200 miles north in Fresno, where the 10th-ranked Badgers visit 21st-ranked Fresno State.

Getting a Big Ten to come to the Bulldog Stadium is a big deal for Fresno State, which could use a win Saturday as a springboard to a BCS bowl game. You have to give Fresno State all kinds of credit for its we'll-play-anybody-anywhere philosophy, and it appears the Badgers are adopting that same sort of mantra walking into this potential pitfall. Still, it's hard to pick against the Badgers.

Check out this week's picks ...

No. 1 USC over No. 5 Ohio State
No. 2 Wisconsin-Whitewater over Wisconsin-Eau Claire
No. 10 Wisconsin over No. 21 Fresno State
No. 18 Brigham Young over UCLA
Michigan over Notre Dame

Upset pick of the week: Purdue over No. 16 Oregon

And our totally random college football pick of the week: North Dakota over Wisconsin-La Crosse in the annual Potato Bowl, which includes a French Fry Feed on Friday night.

Last week's record: 5-2

Overall record: 12-3

Late Monday Night Backup Quarterback: Week 1 was just plain nuts

2008-09-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

"This is the year you will see a shift from the AFC to the NFC as the dominant conference." -- Me, to the girl I'm sorta-kinda seeing after a couple or so or more beers at the Saloon on Saturday night.

Sorry ... gotta pat myself on the back for saying that -- with a mildly sober witness on hand -- now that Week 1 is in the books and, well, it was unpredictably nuts.

The AFC's big three -- Patriots, Colts and Chargers -- either lost to decidedly inferior opponents, or lost their two-time Super Bowl MVP and 2007 season MVP quarterback.

Enter the NFC East, which now houses three of the best teams in the NFL ... at least for the time being (like, if the Giants somehow manage to lose to the Rams in Week 2).

While the Cowboys and Eagles were supremely impressive on Sunday, the defending Super Bowl champion Giants managed a rather boring win over the Redskins (but, that's kinda how the Giants won it all last year, and it should be noted that there are no style points in the NFL). This triumvirate should make the NFC East competition very, very interesting.

For the time being, let's have a little bit of fun here and take a look at how the NFL power rankings would look like if it were like the BCS (well, kinda ... it has much less controversy).

Important note!: The Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings include three very basic components: overall win-loss record, how good teams did against other good teams, and my own profound opinion. Each component will count one-third (more or less or so) of a team's overall Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM score in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM standings.

Here are the latest Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings of the season (just the top 12, or the number of teams that would make the playoffs if the playoff teams were based totally on the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM formula, which isn't really a formula at all) ...

1. New York Giants (Trend: -) -- Eli Manning orchestrated an impressive opening drive, Brandon Jacobs made LaRon Landry feel some serious shame, but their win over the Redskins was sorta-kinda
meh!"

2. Dallas Cowboys (Trend: +) -- It pains me say that this team is probably pretty good.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (Trend: +) -- The series of unfortunate events to befell the aforementioned big three of the AFC suddenly makes Pittsburgh look like the team to beat in the conference.

4. Philadelphia Eagles (Trend: +) -- Pennsylvania pro football teams outscored their opponents 76-20 on Sunday.

5. New England Patriots (Trend: -) -- Does Tom Brady's injury also mean the end of the Patriots as we've known them for the past few years? Tune in next season.

6. Chicago Bears (Trend: +) -- Kyle Orton could be the 2008 version of Trent Dilfer, circa 2000 ... just don't do anything silly and let that amazing defense do its thing.

7. New Orleans Saints (Trend: +) -- Getting a game up on an opponent expected to compete for the title in the same division as you play in is a big deal.

8. Green Bay Packers (Trend: +) -- Rooting for Aaron Rodgers to have a good game Monday night was an easy thing to do.

9. Buffalo Bills (Trend: +) -- Team management sent an email to the other 31 teams following Sunday's rout of the Seahawks asking, "So, who wants to play us?" Nobody replied.

10. San Diego Chargers (Trend: -) -- This is a big drop from last week (No. 3), but they lost to a Panthers team that was a double-digit 'dog going in. Also, throw in this fun fact ... the Chargers had lost only one of their previous 16 home regular-season games. Not a good start to 2008.

11. Indianapolis Colts (Trend: -) -- This is another big drop (No. 4 last week), but the Colts were expected to beat da Bears. There's still hope, as Peyton Manning was just a bit off on a few key passes and he will theoretically get it straightened out.

12. New York Jets (Trend: +) -- Jets fans got their first good glimpse of Brett Favre's on-the-field magic on Sunday.

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Oakland Raiders -- Remember the 1970s when the Raiders were really, really good? Oh wait, the '70s are ancient history in the wide world of sports. "Raiders" and "among NFL's elite" is so "plaid suit" and "great thing to wear to a wedding."

31. Kansas City Chiefs -- Blew a chance to beat the Matt Cassel-led Patriots.

32. St. Louis Rams -- Is it too early to put the Rams on 0-16 watch?

Week 2 predictions:

Panthers over Bears
Titans over Bengals
Packers over Lions
Bills over Jaguars
Chiefs over Raiders
Colts over Vikings
Giants over Rams
Saints over Redskins
Seahawks over 49ers
Buccaneers over Falcons
Cardinals over Dolphins
Broncos over Chargers
Texans over Ravens
Jets over Patriots
Steelers over Browns
Cowboys over Eagles

Week 1 record: 9-7 (sure, Week 1 was a big nuts, but this is really bad and we promise to do better the rest of the way)

This week's college football picks: U-Dub-Dub back in action!

2008-09-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

Nearly nine months after one of the most stunning and impressive victories in recent college football history, Wisconsin-Whitewater returns to the gridiron to open its 2008 campaign.

U-Dub-Dub hosts St. Xavier University (which is located in Chicago and is an NAIA school) at the friendly confines of Perkins Stadium.

This showdown is just one of many that promise to be lopsided affairs this weekend. Check out this week's picks, and you'll notice that it's tough to go out on a limb ...

No. 2 Wisconsin-Whitewater over St. Xavier
No. 5 Florida over Miami (Fla.)
No. 8 West Virginia over East Carolina (though, was really tempted to make this the "Upset pick of the week")
No. 11 Wisconsin over Marshall
No. 15 Brigham Young over Washington

Upset pick of the week: Stanford over No. 15 Arizona State

And our totally random college football pick of the week: North Dakota over St. Cloud State (FYI ... North Dakota smoked Texas A&M-Kingsville in its Division 1 debut last week)

Last week's record: 7-1

Tuesday Afternoon Middle Linebacker: Looking forward to Week 1, and the 2008 season

2008-09-02T15:37:00.000-07:00

"Worst Prediction of the Year: Jim Reineking of Fox Sports, for a spectacular feat of multiple bad predictions." -- Gregg Easterbrook, in a column published on NFL.com on Feb. 14, 2006.

If Gregg Easterbrook can write a long-winded, diarrhea-of-the-keyboard column about pro football, so can we ...

Football season officially kicks off Thursday night when the defending Super Bowl champion Giants host the Redskins for what should be a spirited game of football. This is good for America.

Let's kick off Kickoff week by taking a look at how the NFL power rankings would look like if it were like the BCS (well, kinda ... it has much less controversy).

(Of course, this is more like the preseason polls, since no games -- preseason/exhibition contests don't count, silly -- have been played.)

Here are the very first Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM rankings of the season (just the top 12, or the number of teams that would make the playoffs if the playoff teams were based totally on the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCS^TM formula, which isn't really a formula at all) ...

1. New York Giants: Surprising victors of Super Bowl XLII are still tops until they suffer that first loss, which could come as soon as Thursday against the Redskins.

2. New England Patriots: That 18-1 finish last season still isn't good enough to claim the top spot in this poll.

3. San Diego Chargers: Madman linebacker Shawne Merriman vows to play with two torn knee ligaments, which should be an interesting storyline to follow this season to say the least.

4. Indianapolis Colts: It might be a bit premature to think that the "window of opportunity" is closing on these horseshoe-clad gridders.

5. Dallas Cowboys: Hard to give too much respect a team that hasn't won a playoff game in 12 years.

6. Jacksonville Jaguars: Out to end Indy's reign of terror in the AFC South.

7. Seattle Seahawks: Mike Holmgren hoping to go out in a blaze of glory.

8. Pittsburgh Steelers: Will face still challenge from Cleveland.

9. Philadelphia Eagles: Darkhorse Super Bowl contender in NFC.

10. Cleveland Browns: Hype machine could go into overdrive if Brownies manage a victory over the Cowboys on national television.

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Can an aging Jeff Garcia keep it up? Magic Eight Ball says, "Definitely."

12. New York Jets: Brett Favre is in town, and Jerricho Cotchery and Dustin Keller are going to have huge years. We know this because all three are on our fantasy football team.

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Miami Dolphins: Bill Parcells has a lot of work to do. A lot of work.

31. Atlanta Falcons: Rookie Matt Ryan takes over where Michael Vick unceremoniously left off.

32. Kansas City Chiefs: Very definition of "rebuilding."

For fun, let's make some quick predictions ...

Five non-playoff teams in 2007 who could make the playoffs this season:

1. Cleveland Browns: 2007 playoffs would have been more fun had Cleveland made it to the party.

2. New Orleans Saints: Drew Brees leads what should be a potent offense in the Big Easy.

3. Minnesota Vikings: Everybody's vogue pick to unseat the Packers in the NFC North.

4. New York Jets: Favre-to-Cotchery, touchdown Jets ... sounds like music to our fantasy football team's ears.

5. Buffalo Bills: Buffalo/Toronto Bills feature a rebuilt defense, which includes first-round pick Leodis McKelvin (McLovin'?).

Five playoff teams from 2007 who could be in for a fall:

1. Green Bay Packers: A-Rod takes over for Favre, but is backed up by rookies Matt Flynn and Brian Brohm. Hope No. 12 can stay healthy.

2. Tennessee Titans: Vince Young is better at making plays with his legs than his arm, which would be OK if he were a running back.

3. Washington Redskins: That NFC East is downright tough, and some team is going to have to get left out of the postseason fun.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers: Face one of toughest schedules in NFL this season.

5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Given the relative strength of the NFC East, only one NFC South team likely will make the playoffs. With an offensively-scary Saints team and Jake Delhomme's return in Carolina, the Buccaneers could be left out.

Week 1 predictions:

Giants over Redskins
Lions over Falcons
Bengals over Ravens
Seahawks over Bills
Jets over Dolphins
Patriots over Chiefs
Saints over Buccaneers
Eagles over Rams
Steelers over Texans
Jaguars over Titans
Cowboys over Browns
Chargers over Panthers
Cardinals over 49ers
Colts over Bears
Vikings over Packers
Broncos over Raiders

College football season kicks off soon ... and then some totally random thoughts

2008-08-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's such a great time of year to be a fan of the sports stuff. Baseball pennant races are heating up, the kickoff of Week 1 of the NFL season is just a week away, and college football starts its season this weekend. With that fun in mind ...

You didn't ask for 'em, but here are our college football picks for this weekend:

No. 13 Wisconsin over Akron
No. 3 Southern California over Virginia
No. 5 Florida over Hawai'i
No. 6 Missouri over No. 20 Illinois
No. 18 Tennessee over UCLA
No. 7 LSU over Appalachian State

FYI, there will be no Appalachian State-type upset of a major college football powerhouse this year. That was a once-in-a-lifetime, lightning-doesn't-strike-the-same-place-twice type of occurrence. With that in mind, let's go out on a limb ...

Upset pick of the week: Utah over Michigan

And our totally random college football pick of the week: Sacred Heart over Assumption College

Some other random thoughts on sports ...

Who is FOX going to put on prime-time TV in October when the New York Yankees fail to make the playoffs?

Was watching the Best Damn Sports Show Period (yes, it's still on the air) last night at one of our favorite local watering holes and Petros Papadakis was on talking college football. Seeing Papadakis (Photo, he's the dude on the left) makes me realize just how far Southern California football had come in just a very short period of time. Just a few years ago, Papadakis was a running back for the Trojans. Here he's looking more like LenDale White after a trip to the Ponderosa buffet than Reggie Bush.

Apparently, Brett Favre isn't on God's fantasy football team ...

This year's championship fantasy football team

2008-08-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

"The darkest secret of fantasy sports? Nobody in the world cares about your team but you. Nobody!" -- FOXSports.com frequent contributing columnist Peter Schrager in "Fantasy football rules to live by this season."

Yes, nobody wants to hear about your fantasy team.

Please, no watercooler talk should revolve around how the Seahawks pulling Julius Jones for T.J. Duckett in a goal-line situation screwed you from winning your fantasy football game. All you'll get is an uncomfortable nod of the head and a polite listener attempting to change the subject to something else, like what Rachel Ray's got cooking in the kitchen today.

We don't care about those unwritten rules of owning a fantasy team (well, we do, but not so much in this here forum). This is "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" and we do whatever we feel like.

With that philosophy in mind, we present the team that will win the NFL.com fantasy league this season ...

Pos Round Player
QB 6 (#64) Favre, Brett (QB NYJ)
RB 1 (#9) Portis, Clinton (RB WAS)
RB 3 (#33) Turner, Michael (RB ATL)
WR 2 (#16) Colston, Marques (WR NO)
WR 4 (#40) Johnson, Calvin (WR DET)
WR 5 (#57) Cotchery, Jerricho (WR NYJ)
TE 10 (#112) Daniels, Owen (TE HOU)
K 15 (#177) Longwell, Ryan (K MIN)
DST 11 (#129) Seahawks (DST SEA)
RS 9 (#105) Rodgers, Aaron (QB GB)
RS 8 (#88) Williams, Ricky (RB MIA)
RS 7 (#81) Driver, Donald (WR GB)
RS 13 (#153) Walter, Kevin (WR HOU)
RS 12 (#136) Keller, Dustin (TE NYJ)
RS 14 (#160) Packers (DST GB)

Yes, we have Brett Favre AND Aaron Rodgers!

The worst ballpark experience in baseball

2008-08-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

"Losing feels worse than winning feels good." -- Vin Scully.

Hall-of-Fame broadcaster Vin Scully should consider himself lucky that he doesn't experience the carnage that takes place in the stands of the stadium he so cherishes.

Scully sits perched high above the stands and comfortably in a press box among the throngs of buffet-fed reporters who often wax poetic about Dodger Stadium's views through rose-colored glasses.

Such is the case with Dodger Stadium. You hear about how beautiful a ballpark it is, nestled snugly in Chavez Ravine with a spectacular view (if smog doesn't obstruct the view) of Los Angeles' neighboring hills and mountains. You also hear about how visionary the team was when it built this place shortly after it relocated from Brooklyn to Los Angeles in the late 1950s. Yet, the place has a sinister side.

Dodger Stadium has the worst ballpark experience in the league.

One night at the old ballpark revealed plenty. The fans don't care. They don't care about other people. They don't care about the game. There's just no respect. It's out of hand, and security seems helpless or simply doesn't care, too.

A simple Google search for "Dodger Stadium" and "fans" is significant ...

LAPD asked to be deployed at Dodger Stadium

A fan post saying, "I'd hate to live here with these silly fans"

Just another day at the old ballpark

A blog post appropriately titled "Dodger Stadium: Baseball Hell"

Poor stadium security allows Dodgers-Giants rivalry to escalate into food brawl

Beer thrown at Padres fans; security does nothing

Turns out aforementioned incident occured when Dodgers honored Jackie Robinson

If you add "unruly" in front of "fan" in said Google search, it gets a bit darker ...

Woman legally blind in one eye from punch

Three stabbed in brawl at Dodger Stadium

Woman punches another woman who's seven months pregnant

Fatal shooting at Dodger Stadium

Just three months ago, the tide was turned. We were in Milwaukee, watching the Brewers play the Dodgers. A number of Dodgers fans were on hand, certainly making their presence felt among the masses sporting Brewers blue and gold. In Milwaukee -- where, keep in mind, fans can show up hours in advance to tailgate and have the opportunity to get plenty of beer in their system before game time -- the Dodgers fans were treated more as a curiousity than anything else, like, "wow, look, they made the trip all the way from L.A. to come to our Miller Park."

Fast forward three months, and a tandem of brave fans sporting Brewers gear sitting a few rows ahead of us were showered with antagonizing taunts of, "F--- Milwaukee" from fans whose IQ likely matched their blood-alcohol level. Please keep in mind that there were little kids in the stands, too.

Simply sitting in the stands, quietly (very quietly) supporting your favorite team -- even if it's the opposition -- is too much to ask at Dodger Stadium.

Later, some unruly fans were kicked out. Stuff was thrown in their general direction. Security was too busy manhandling a couple miscreants to notice. There was more antagonizing of the Brewers fans, but Brewers fan is too smart to take the bait.

When the Brewers fans fail to take the bait, Dodgers fans turn on each other ... UCLA vs. USC is a popular topic for "discussion." Apparently, at least one of the fans whose IQ matched their BAC went to UCLA (yes, UCLA, which before Friday night at 9 p.m. or so was actually viewed as a "good academic institution.")

There's more swearing with little kids sitting in the vicinity.

Of course, fans of this nature are awarded with more beer when they return to the concession stands.

Something happens on the field. The Dodgers apparantly score a run.

"F--- Milwaukee."

The heart begins to pound a bit faster. And you begin to realize why fans leave Dodger Stadium early.

Just another night at the old ballpark.

Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowds;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I come back.

Apparently, through all this, a game was going on. It was simply background fodder for the noise going on in the stands, which is like 15 TVs on 15 different channels going at full volume. It's hard to consider the play that might take place on the field with men on second and third, two out and an All-Star player at the plate. Whatever happened, it wasn't good for the Brewers.

"F--- the Brewers."

It was time to go.

The opening ceremonies

2008-08-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

In case you missed the opening ceremonies for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad, we highly recommend you get the DVD and watch it. It was incredible.

The parade of nations is always fun. And, for the record, Kazakhstan was a part of that parade, which brough to mind Borat, and his version of his nation's national anthem.

So, we had to look it up and take a listen.

Sweep dreams

2008-08-09T14:41:00.000-07:00

The first day of complete competition at the Games of the XXIX Olympiad featured the first (of what we hope will be many) medal sweeps for the U.S. of A.

Here's a thought ... wouldn't it be cool if whenever the U.S. sweeps the medals, instead of playing The Star-Spangled Banner, they played America, F--- Yeah! instead?

What do you think?

Discuss!

Inside the Favre-McCarthy talk the other night

2008-08-07T15:20:00.000-07:00

Just in case you were curious, here's how the conversation between Brett Favre and Packers coach Mike McCarthy went down the other night ...

McCarthy: What are you doing here?

Favre: I came to play football, but not for your team.

McCarthy: Dude, seriously, you're old, and that final pass you threw in the NFC title game ... despicable!

Favre: It was cold, and dark, and scary, and it was hard to see which player was playing for what team.

McCarthy: Dude, seriously, you have to leave.

Favre: But I have that itch coach, but you can't scratch it.

McCarthy: Leave, please.

(Five hours pass ...)

McCarthy: How many times do I have to tell you to leave?

Favre: At least one more time, coach.

McCarthy: Leave, or I swear we'll trade you to the worst team imagineable, the New York Jets.

Favre: I dare you!

Top five NFL preseason games to watch

2008-07-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

The NFL preseason kicks off in just two weeks.

Two weeks!

In two weeks, the phrase "hut, hut, hike!" will take over for "Brett Favre has that itch" (we hope!).

To celebrate the NFL preseason, and America, here are five preseason games to watch this August ...

Indianapolis Colts at Washington Redskins, Aug 3 -- Hall of Fame Game will feature Jim Sorgi in an unfamiliar role ... as the Colts' starting quarterback.

Dallas Cowboys at San Diego Chargers, Aug. 10 -- With football pundits/experts/gurus already penciling in the Cowpokes to represent the NFC in Super Bowl XLIII, this colossal preseason showdown could be a Super preview.

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers, Aug. 11 -- This prime-time Monday night spectacle was supposed to be Aaron Rodgers' first game as the new starting quarterback of the Packers. Will Brett Favre steal some of Rodgers' thunder? Stay tuned.

Cleveland Browns at New York Giants, Aug. 18 -- The Browns have been served a heaping helping of high expectations this offseason. How will this up-and-comer fare against the defending Super Bowl champions? You can find out if you're tuned in to ESPN for this Monday night show.

New England Patriots at New York Giants, Aug. 28 -- The Patriots can finally get vengence for that embarrassing loss in Super Bowl XLII that interrupted their quest for a perfect season.

Day off

2008-07-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

Of the 365 days in a calendar year (and one more bonus day in this very special leap year), only one is empty of any meaningful sporting event.

That is today, the day after baseball's all-star game. No sports of note will take place on this unique day on the sports calendar (there are two WNBA games tonight, but we said "sports of note").

For the record, today checks in at No. 10 on the list of Top 10 sports days of the year. Here's a recap ...

10. Day before/after baseball's All-Star Game: There are 365 days in a calendar year (366 on those special Leap years, 2008 is included on that fun), and each contains some sort of sporting event. Err, actually, 363 days a year contain some sort of sporting event. This is actually a non-sports day entry in the greatest sports days of the year. The day before, and after, Major League Baseball's All-Star Game contain no sports (we don't count the home run contest —- held the day before the All-Star Game —- that's just an exhibition). For those of us working in sports journalism, it gives us a much-needed breather.

What are pennant races like?

2008-07-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

"We're going for it ... it was all about now." -- Milwaukee Brewers GM Doug Melvin.

Suddenly, by acquiring C.C. Sabathia from the Cleveland Indians, the Milwaukee Beermakers have become the team other NL teams don’t want to face in the playoffs. Ben Sheets-C.C.-Manny Parra sounds a heck of a lot better than Sheets-Parra-Suppan, Jeff.

What is becoming a bit humbling is the thought that the Brewers -- who haven't been to the playoffs since 1982 -- figure that their window of championship opportunity is so short, especially given all the young players on the roster. Sheets and Sabathia will leave in the offseason (and the Brewers aren’t even acquiring Sabathia with the hope of signing him after the season … though, I would imagine that if they like him that they’ll at least extend some sort of tender, heart-felt, token contract offer). It also doesn’t appear as if they will be able to keep Prince Fielder from going to the Yankees or some other evil money-hoarding team. Suddenly, that window for title contention appears to be … this year.

Is this the biggest trade in team history?

Right now, it has to rank relatively close to when the team pried Rollie Fingers, Ted Simmons, Pete Vukovich away from the Cardinals for Sixto Lezcano, Lary Sorenson, Dave LaPoint and David Green before the 1981 season? Fingers and Vukovich both won Cy Young awards. Simmons played in two All-Star Games while with the Brewers. All threw helped the Brewers reach the 1982 World Series. I don’t think dealing Matt LaPorta and three minor leaguers for Sabathia quite ranks with that deal. Though, if the Brewers go on to do great things this year …

Is Packer coming a backer?

2008-07-02T16:48:00.000-07:00

"I'm pretty boring really." -- Brett Favre.

Big news in the world of football today ...

Brett Favre is back!

Back reportedly apparently possibly contemplating a heroic return to the gridiron.

"Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" got to the bottom of this big sports news story, speed-dialing Favre on the old text message machine*.

Here's what transpired:

Greatest Pro Bowls ever: R U? Or R U not?

Brett: Not...LOL! ;-)

* This text message conversation did not acually happen, though it could have if "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" actually had Favre's cell number.

Check back for further updates on this Favre situation.

Until then, let's pass some time by presenting a top 10 list of highlight videos to remember ol' No. 4 by ...

10. Favre does some wild improv in playoff game

9. Favre watches 'Super Bowl Memories with Steve Sabol' before Super Bowl XXXI

8. Favre says 'put it in the old vice!'

7. Favre's first Super Bowl TD pass

6. Favre's last postseason victory

5. Favre beats Broncos in OT on MNF

4. Favre's first comeback, way back in 1992

3. Favre's emotional MNF victory

2. Favre sets new career TD record

1. Favre leads Packers to Super Bowl XXXI win

Euro 2008: The finale

2008-06-30T14:51:00.000-07:00

"It is the most important day in Spanish football in many, many years." -- Spain striker Fernando Torres.

Day: Sunday, June 29

Location: Ye Olde King's Head, which charged $10 per person to watch the game. Still, the place was packed and had to turn people away because the venue had already reached capacity.

City: Santa Monica

Game: Germany 0-1 Spain

What I drank: Guinness

What I ate: Banger and hash (hash browns, that is)

Three games, no goals: Germany went into Euro 2008 as the favorites -- and it's not like they disappointed by not winning, given they did come within a goal of total victory -- but it was Spain that put together the most complete tournament. In the three knockout games -- including Sunday's finale -- Spain allowed no goals (in fact, they allowed just five shots on goal in 300 minutes of knockout stage play, including two matches against perennial powerhouses Italy and Germany). In all, Spain outscored its opponents 12-3 over six Euro 2008 matches as it won its first European Championship since 1964 and shook its reputation as a team that caves on the world's biggest stage.

Player(s) of the game: It'd be easy to present a game ball to Fernando Torres, since it was his goal that was the difference in the Euro 2008 finale, but real credit should go to Spain's defensive backline, featuring defenders Joan Capdevila, Carlos Marchena and Carles Puyol (and check out this dude's mug!). They allowed just four German shots, as goalkeeper Iker Casillas barely broke a sweat, and held Die Mannschaft's power triumvirate of Miroslav Klose, Lukas Podolski and Bastian Schweinsteiger completely in check.

Speaking of Klose, Podolski and Schweinsteiger ... How is Bayern Munich not a bigger player in European club football, competing with the likes of AC and Inter Milan, FC Barcelona, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United for Champions League titles every year? Bayern Munich's roster includes Klose, Podolski and Schweinsteiger, as well as German national teamers Marcell Jansen and Philipp Lahm. All those players spent much of Sunday's game on the pitch. Four were major players in Germany's run to the Euro 2008 finale. In addition, you might recognize the names of Luca Toni (Italy), Franck Ribéry (France) and Hamit Altintop (Turkey). Yes, they are also players for Bayern Munich. Yet, all Bayen Munich could muster in competition outside of Germany (they did claim another Bundesliga title, its 21st, which is the most in the Bundesliga) was a run to the semifinals of the UEFA Cup, where it lost to Zenit St Petersburg of Russia (it should be noted that Zenit St Petersburg went on to win the UEFA Cup final, too).

However, Bayern Munich last played in the Champions League final in 2001, when it beat Valenica for the crown (that represents the last time a German Bundesliga squad won the Champions League. Bayer Leverkusen -- which featured Michael Ballack on its roster -- played for the title in 2002, but ultimately lost to Real Madrid). That run of futility on the European stage might explain why German legend Jürgen Klinsmann will open his tenure as Bayern Munich manager on July 1.

It's a wrap: The Euro 2008 finale, which was neatly packaged as a soccer doubleheader with D.C.United's 4-1 win over the Los Angeles Galaxy (as star-studded a game as there can be in Major League Soccer), netted a 3.1 rating on ABC. That's a good number, and it beat Wimbledon (on NBC) and PGA golf (on CBS).

What does that mean? Sports fans tuned into the tournament despite the fact that there was no U.S. team participating. There was no way to compare Euro 2008's numbers to how it performed in 2004, since games were only aired on pay-per-view. This year, ESPN/ABC carried the games for the first time, with announcers calling the games from a broom closet in Bristol, Conn. Next time, maybe ESPN/ABC will foot the bill to send the guys calling the action to the game venues. Until then, soccer fans have World Cup 2010 to look forward to, where Spain and Germany figure to be featured on a short list of tournament favorites and our tour of sports bars will resume.

Euro 2008: Lahm voyage, Turkey

2008-06-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

"Totally crazy feeling. It was unbelievable. It was a crazy, incredible drama with all these goals in the final minutes." -- German coach Joachim Löw, on his team's thrilling victory over Turkey.

Day: Wednesday, June 25

Location: Joxer Daly's

City: Culver City

Game: Germany 3-2 Turkey

What I drank: Stella Artois

What I ate: Stella Artois. Yup, beer counts as food!

What in the world happened? Turkey's beyond-the-realm-of-the-imagination run to the Euro 2008 semifinal was nothing short of miraculous, and the underdogs from Turkey became the sentimental favorite for casual football fans. So, it came as no surprise that Culver City's very own Joxer Daly's -- a place owned by Culver City councilman Mehaul O'Leary (yes, it's an Irish pub, and that's always a good thing) -- was crowded at lunch time on a Wednesday for this colossal showdown that showcased feel-good Turkey against the country that has won more European Championships than any other nation.

The game was all kinds of exciting. Epic even ... and the second half had to be awesome. Unfortunately, nobody got to see a Germany goal to go up 2-1 and Turkey's answering equalizer just moments later due to lightning strikes in nearby Austria that wiped out all television broadcasts from the game. The world outside of Basel's St. Jakob-Park didn't see what was transpiring on the pitch. Thankfully, the world-wide telecommunications system got back online in time for fans to witness Philipp Lahm's game-winning goal in the 90th minute. Fortunately for fans of the Deutscher Fussball-Bund, there was no late-game Turkey rally for victory and Die Mannschaft advanced to the Euro 2008 finale (Sunday, 11:30 a.m. PT, ABC ... watch it!).

Still, one can't help but think that there's something very Heidi Game about this incredible European Championship semifinal.

The winner of Thursday's Russia-Spain tilt takes on ... Germany!

Still, hats off go to never-say-die Turkey and their storybook run to this moment. With somewhere in the neighborhood of seven regulars out of the lineup, Turkey made a run at a strong-across-the-board German squad that opened the Euros as the prohibitive favorites. Thus, creating a run and a finale that may never be forgotten by football fans, even if they didn't get to see it.

Euro 2008: Day 15

2008-06-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

"If we can beat opponents like (the Netherlands), it really makes no difference who we play." -- Russian leftback Yuri Zhirkov, on the no-fear nature of his team at the European Championships.

Day: Saturday, June 21

Location: Cock N Bull Pub

City: Santa Monica

Game: Netherlands 1-3 (aet) Russia

What I drank: Guinness

What we ate: Bangers and mash

Oranje crushed: To the shocking surprise of nearly everybody on hand at the Cock N Bull (unofficial slogan: All cock, no bull), Russia essentially dominated the Netherlands -- a team that steamrolled both of the 2006 World Cup finalists by a combined score of 7-1 in the group stage -- from start to finish.

That being said, the Cock N Bull presented the best atmosphere thus far for soccer (one can only imagine the hysteria at the place had the Netherlands actually showed up to play and took care of the business everyone expected). The place was packed, mostly with fans sporting orange, thus making the Cock N Bull an ideal place to enjoy a good game of football.

With that in mind, here's an unscientific breakdown of the top five of the places we've visited to watch Euro 2008 games so far ...

1. Cock N Bull: Fold-out tables and chairs were set up in front of a giant projection screen. Folks who showed up early got a glimpse of ABC's Euro 2008 "pregame show," Power Rangers (Oh, the memories!).

2. Ye Olde Kings Head: Hoping for a strong German contingent on Sunday (Oh, the memories!).

3. The Field: Would be ranked higher if another visit didn't require a long trip down the 405/5 to San Diego (Oh, the memories!).

4. O'Brien's Irish Pub: Wonder if the atmosphere would be different had we not gone on a Monday afternoon that also featured Tiger Woods' remarkable playoff hole win at the U.S. Open(Oh, the memories!).

5. South: Has a plethora of high-definition televisions placed strategically about the place, but still had to ask the bartender to put the Euro game on. It was clearly baseball season at South, making it a great place to go if you want to watch the Red Sox play on NESN (Oh, the memories!).

Player of the day: Even the most dedicated soccer enthusiast would be hard-pressed to find a familiar name on the Euro 2008 roster of Russia, but remember the name of Andrei Arshavin, at least for one more game -- Thursday's semifinal showdown with Spain. Arshavin scored the nail-in-the-'ol-coffin goal against the Netherlands, a strike that put Russia up 3-1 in extra time and had the orange-clad patrons at the Cock N Bull scrambling to close out their tabs. Arshavin, it should be noted, earned Man of the Match honors when he led his club team, Zenit St. Petersburg, to victory in the UEFA Cup finale.

It's fun to look forward to something: Would it be a nightmare at ABC to have Russia and Turkey both advance to the European Championship finale (live from Vienna's Ernst Happel Stadion at 11:30 a.m. PT, Sunday)?

Germany v Spain sits there as the gold pot at the end of the rainbow, so to speak, for soccer fans. What a way to continue to promote the game by having as marquee a matchup as possible on major network television? You get the team with the most European championships of any nation versus a potent Spain squad looking to erase the demons of recent failures in major international tournaments.

But, then there's Turkey -- the never-say-die, play-until-the-last-final-moment miracle workers -- and Russia -- advancing to stages not seen since the days of the old CCCP -- who could play the role of spoilers. It wouldn't be a shock at all to see either team playing in Vienna on Sunday.

O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He

2008-06-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

"Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient." -- Some wise guy named Aristotle.

Smart guy Cliff Arnall has come up with a doozy of a mathematical formula that determines that June 20 (today!) is the happiest day of the year.

It's true.

Arnall -- who works as a psychologist at the University of Cardiff in Wales, U.K. -- devised an elaborate equation that looks like this ...

E = mc²

Just kidding about that ... LOL! LMAO! LOL! :-)

Here's the real mathematical formula for happiness ...

O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He

O is time spent outdoors.

N is time spent in nature.

S is more socialization in the summer.

Cpm relates to positive memories of childhood summers.

T factors in temperature.

He is vacation anticipation.

The formula also has determined that the third Monday of January is the most unhappiest day of the year.

But, let's not look at this with a glass-half-empty approach. I'm going to enjoy this day, starting with a visit to my favorite local pizza parlor.

Have a happy day!

Euro 2008: Day 10

2008-06-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

"There was nothing finesse about that," ESPN color commentator Andy Gray, on Michael Ballack's set-piece strike in the 49th minute.

Day: Monday, June 16

Location: O'Brien's Irish Pub

City: Santa Monica

Game(s): Austria 0-1 Germany

What I drank: Guinness

What I ate: Went with the blackened chicken salad over the O'Brien's staple, bangers and mash, which was a bit less shocking a selection than German coach Joachim Löw sticking with Mario Gómez at forward. Five minutes into Monday's game in Wien, Gómez whiffed on a sure goal-scoring opportunity. It was awkward to watch, and had to be even more painful for Gómez.

Player of the day: Ballack's missile of a shot proved to be the deciding goal in Germany's 1-0 win over Austria. Ballack had been largely quiet during the group stage of Euro 2008, but his thunderous strike into the back corner of the 'ol onion bag was an emphatic, "yes, I'm Michael Ballack and I'm good at this football thing."

"Constant bickering": Löw and his Austrian counterpart, Josef Hickersberger, were sent to the stands just before the end of the first half of play. Löw was later seen celebrating Ballack's gargantuan goal with Bastian Schweinsteiger -- who was forced to be a spectator on Monday after receiving a red card in Germany's 2-1 loss to Croatia -- and tennis legend Boris Becker. It was difficult to understand why both coaches were sent off the field.

What lies ahead for Germany: The methodical winning machine that is the Deutscher Fussball-Bund returns to the pitch Thursday for a delightfully delicious quarterfinal match against Portugal, which -- if it weren't for the unstoppable force that has been the Netherlands -- would be the team of the tournament thus far. Cristiano Ronaldo has lived up to his billing as the "world's greatest footballer," as Portugal rolled -- a 2-0 loss to Switzerland in an inconsequential match on Sunday notwithstanding -- to win Group A. This should be one of the most anticipated matches of the quarterfinal round of this Euro tournament. It's a shame I will have to go to work.

Euro 2008: Day 9

2008-06-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

"Everybody makes mistakes and I am a human being." -- Czech Republic goalkeeper Petr Cech, who allowed three late-game goals by Turkey.

Day: Sunday, June 15

Location: South

City: Santa Monica

Game(s): Turkey 3-2 Czech Republic

What I drank: Bloody Marys

What we ate: Sharing is caring, as they say, which is why the girl I'm sorta-kinda seeing and I went with a pulled chicken sandwich, which was a last-minute (and mildly healthier) substitute for the always-delicious chicken 'n waffle sliders

Quote of the day: "The Brewers are up 1-nil" -- Girl I'm sorta-kinda seeing, obviously trying to lift my spirits as the Milwaukee Brewers attempted to avoid a sweep at the hands of the Minnesota Twins.

Thank goodness for the 'ol DVR: The girl I'm sorta-kinda seeing and I had to leave the comfy confines of South to hop on the 405 and head down to Carson to watch Team USA's tenacious 8-0 victory of hapless Barbados in the U.S.'s opening game of CONCACAF World Cup qualifying (Highlights). That meant we caught just the first half of the Czech Republic-Turkey game. Turns out, Turkey-Czech Republic was an epic for all the ages; U.S.-Barbados was something out of me-as-Manchester United vs. computer-as-Derby County on the FIFA video game on the PS2.

(Just in case you were curious, the eight-goal victory represented the highest in the 92-year history of the U.S. men's national team. The only other time the United States scored this many goals was in an 8-1 victory over the Cayman Islands in 1993.)

Moving on ...

It was fun to watch the Turkey-Czech Republic game later knowing that at some point complete stupid madness was about to intervene. Turns out, it was one of the top three soccer games I've ever seen (a list that will date back to 2002 or so).

Top three soccer games I've ever seen (Editor's note: This isn't by any means at all a well-thought-out list. Proceed with caution) ...

1. Liverpool 3-3 (3-2 on PKs) A.C. Milan, 2005 Champions League final -- Liverpool managed to dig a 3-0 deficit in the first half, but managed to climb out and tie the game within the first 15 minutes of the second half. When a winner couldn't be decided in regulation, the Reds completed "The Miracle of Istanbul" by winning on penalty kicks.

2. Turkey 3-2 Czech Republic -- Recovering for a 3-2 after being down 2-0 in the second half is almost the soccer equivalent to Buffalo Bills over the Houston Oilers in the 1992 AFC wild-card playoffs insane.

3. D.C. United 3-3 (4-3 on PKs) New England Revolution, 2004 MLS Eastern Conference final -- D.C. United prevailed in a wild back-and-forth showdown for a spot in MLS Cup, which United went on to win for their fourth title. The conference final was nuts, and here's the video to prove it.

Matchup of Euro 2008: When forward Jan Koller got the start for the Czech Republic, it meant a mano-a-mano showdown between the 6-foot-7 tower of a man and our favorite, ruffian Servet Çetin, who plays central defense for Turkey (Photos). Koller -- used only as a late-game substitute in the Czech Republic's 3-1 loss to Portugal -- proved to be a dangerous foe for Turkey, and most notably Servet, to contain. Koller's header in the 34th minute gave the Czech Republic a 1-0 lead going into the half. Servet managed to keep Koller in check the rest of the match, but the physical toll may be costly, as the defender is hobbled by injuries and his status for Friday's quarterfinal matchup with Croatia is in doubt.

What lies ahead for Turkey: Croatia, the winner of Group B, in a quarterfinal match in Vienna.

There have been just two games in the entire Euro 2008 tournament that were won by the team which fell behind 1-0. Both of those games were won by Turkey.

However, while Servet's status is in doubt, Turkey will also have to move on without goalkeeper Volkan Demirel, who was red carded after shoving Koller late in Turkey's heroic victory (in a scene somewhat reminiscent of Zinedine Zidane's moment of infamy against Italy in the 2006 World Cup final). Midfielder Mehmet Aurélio will also be serving a suspension, while defender Emre Güngör is out with injury.

Still, a flare for the dramatic has surprisingly made Turkey one of the must-see teams of this tournament.

Native of Barbados? Got cleats? Sign up today!

2008-06-12T17:43:00.001-07:00

"In an ideal world, we could play there first and come home knowing what you have to do. It puts a lot of pressure on us not only to win the game but win by a couple of goals." -- Landon Donovan, seriously over-estimating the chances of his team's opponent, Barbados.

While much of the soccer world's attention is focused on what transpires in Austria and Switzerland at the 2008 European Champions, sports fans' minds around these parts are on the opening match in 2010 World Cup qualifying for the U.S. men's national team.

Wait ...

Well, that, and the NBA Finals, baseball, NFL OTAs, the U.S. Open of golf, and fantasy Major League Soccer, golf, arena football and NASCAR teams.

But back to soccer ...

The U.S. men's national soccer team opens World Cup qualifying play with a game scheduled to be played at the Home Depot Center in Carson, Calif.

Their opponent?

That powerhouse from Barbados.

Well, "powerhouse" is a bit too strong a word.

Especially when you consider that the coutry's soccer association has put out a plea for players.

Needless to say, if the U.S. somehow manages to lose to Barbados -- which they have never, ever done -- that would be a bad thing. Probably, to a certain degree, pretty embarrassing.

Euro 2008: Day 2

2008-06-09T15:40:00.000-07:00

"When he is in perpetual motion like that, he is a constant threat." -- Germany coach Joachim Löw, on Lukas Podolski.

Day: Sunday, June 8

Location: Ye Olde King's Head

City: Santa Monica

Game(s): Croatia 1-0 Austria, Deutscher Fussball-Bund 2-0 Polska

What I drank: Guinness, which helped me put the five-pint rating I gave the Germany-Poland match to the test.

What I ate: Eggs with banger. Yup, just one banger. Nope, I couldn't substitute the banger for bratwurst, despite the fact that we were on hand to watch Germany play a game of football

Player of the day: Germany is loaded with talented goalscorers, but none may be more dangerous in this year's European Championships than Lukas Podolski, who scored both of Germany's goals against Poland. Podolski was born in Poland, which makes those two strikes even more devastating for the Polish.

Germany has never lost to the Poles, now having won 12 of 16 all-time meetings (with four draws). Pregame tensions were high, especially after a Polish tabloid published an illustration with Polska coach Leo Beenhakker holding the severed heads of Michael Ballack and Löw. This was a bit out of line, even by tabloid standards.

The scene: Unfortunately, the ESPN2 feed for Podolski's second goal was lost, thus creating quite a groan from those on hand at one of Santa Monica's most unique establishments. Fortunately, the ESPN2 feed came back in time to see Podolski celebrating his score with his happy teammates. High fives ensued for those on hand rooting for the Deutscher Fussball-Bund. Sorry, it's just fun to say "Deutscher Fussball-Bund." Deutscher Fussball-Bund. Fun. It really is ... really, fun.

For the first time ever, I witnessed a grown man sporting a Colorado Rapids jersey. Out and about in L.A., you might run into the occasional fan wearing Galaxy gear, especially since they brought on that Beckham guy, but not so much with the jerseys of other MLS teams. It was strange.

Why am I doing this? As is my custom during major international soccer tournaments, I will attempt to view as many Euro 2008 games as possible -- without jeopardizing employment -- from various places, namely sports bars. This is simply a breakdown of the fun for your reading pleasure.

Euro 2008: Day 1

2008-06-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

"It's not easy to play with Portugal. They have world-known players and they're one of the favourites of the tournament." -- Turkey coach Fatih Terim, after his side lost 2-nil to Portugal.

Some day, I may actually get to watch the European Championships, or World Cup, or both, in person. But for now, I must settle for enjoying the action as best as possible from fun locations in the area. This is a running diary of the experience.

Day: Saturday, June 7

Location: The Field

City: San Diego

Game(s): Czech Republic 1-0 Switzerland, Portugal 2-0 Turkey

What we drank: Bloody Marys, which were excellent, thus furthering a hypothesis to conclusion that Irish pubs make the best Bloody Marys.

What I ate: Bangers and eggs, which would be a delighfully delicious recurring theme for the weekend

Player of the day: Servet Çetin, a defender for Turkey who sports a "don't dare meet me in a dark alley" look. Fans of his club team, Galatasaray, call Servet "Ayibogan," which translates appropriately to, "a man who could choke a bear." It didn't take long for Servet to make his presence felt. Just 30 seconds into Saturday's match, the really mean looking Turkish defender gave Cristiano Ronaldo -- the concensus choice for the title "best footballer in the world" -- a healthy shove to the Stade de Genève turf. Prior to the game, ESPN studio announcers insightfully predicted that Ronaldo would be the most fouled player in the tournament.

The scene: Oh, to have the iron tolerance of somebody who just turned legal drinking age. A group of fellas, who wouldn't pass the eyeball test of any bouncer at any bar anywhere, sat through both games. Then, after we spent the afternoon at the San Diego Zoo, only to return to The Field hours later for one more tasty, fermented beverage before embarking off to Petco Park to watch the San Diego Padres eventually beat the New York Mets 2-1 with a walk-off homer in the 10th inning, these young lads were still on hand, in the same seats, continuing to drink pints of beer. It is estimated that this group was there for at least nine hours. The Field had that sort of feel of a place where you could feel at home and hang comfortably for an extended period of time.

Why am I doing this? As is my custom during major international soccer tournaments, I will attempt to view as many Euro 2008 games as possible -- without jeopardizing employment -- from various places, namely sports bars. This is simply a breakdown of the fun for your reading pleasure.

The 2008 NBA Finals

2008-06-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

"This is what America wants." -- Magic Johnson, obviously forgetting that America would likely rather see lower gas prices than a Celtics-Lakers NBA final.

Once upon a time, back before HDTV when televisions still had knobs to change the channel, the Boston Celtics meeting the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals must have meant a great deal of something to somebody.

Fast forward 20 years later, we’re being forced to care again about what was once upon a time a great NBA rivalry.

Not now. Certainly not when most of the players who will take the court in this year's NBA Finals likely can't even recall the last time the Celtics were relevant.

This isn’t the 1980s revisited.

The Lakers will likely win a lopsided series in five games or something and by the Fourth of July we’ll all forget it even happened because soon NFL training camps will open. Let’s move on to football.

On the subject of football, and how it sorta-kinda relates to this basketball development, the boys and I got together for a little debate on the World Wide Internets. This one deals with a topic near and dear to any sports fans' heart ... greatest NFL rivalries.

Here's a quick synopsis of some of the best rivalries in the NFL, including only matchups that occur regularly ...

1. Bears-Packers: Dates all the way back to 1921 when Curly Lambeau's Acme Packers took on George Halas' Chicago Staleys.

2. Cowboys-Redskins: Legendary Redskins head coach George Allen used to say, "Every time you lose you die a little bit. You die inside ... a portion of you. Not all of your organs. Maybe just your liver." He had to have been referring to defeats at the hands of Dallas.

3. Browns-Steelers: All-time series -- which dates back to 1950 -- is currently knotted up at 55-55.

4. Any AFC West team vs. any other AFC West team: The bad blood dates back to 1960 for these American Football League originals.

ri·val·ry
–noun, plural -ries.
1. the action, position, or relation of a rival or rivals; competition

From back when 'Saturday Night Live' was funny

2008-06-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

"I keek a touchdown." -- the title of the autobiography of former Dolphins kicker Garo Yepremian.

So, NFL Network is running new episodes of the fine series, NFL's Top 10, which has "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" thinking ... what would be a great top 10 list for kickers?

Let "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" know what you think by throwing down in the comments area. We'll have a real nice discussion here.

Five games to watch at Euro 2008

2008-05-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

"Soccer is a game for 22 people that run around, play the ball, and one referee who makes a slew of mistakes, and in the end Germany always wins." -- former England striker Gary Lineker.

Euro 2008 kicks off in 11 days.

11 days is too long to wait.

To help pass the time, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" breaks down five games to watch ...

Germany v Poland (Sunday, June 8)

Poland qualified for its first UEFA European Championships, and now it will attempt to attain another elusive first ... a long-awaiting victory over their neighbors, Germany, which has qualified for more (9), and won more (3), European Championships than any other nation.

Pint scale (1 - casually watching, may duck out of pub if match gets dull; 5 - sobriety be damned, totally committed to match from start to finish and beyond): 5

Netherlands v Italy (Monday, June 9)

Germany isn't the only side that enjoys a one-sided competition with a European rival. Italy -- 2006 World Cup champions -- hasn't lost to the Netherlands since 1978. If you do your math correctly, that's 30 years. However, it's not like these two sides have played each other regularly. It's only been eight games in which the Netherlands failed to beat Italy. Eight games in 30 years? That's not quite so bad. We're beginning to ramble, so let's move on.

Pint scale: 4

Turkey v Czech Republic (Sunday, June 15)

Turkey and the Czech Republic will meet for the first time in a competitive fixture, which is significant. What else is significant? The tongue-twisting names of some of the players on both sides. Turkey's roster includes Rüstü Reçber, Gökhan Gönül, Emre Belözoglu, Gökdeniz Karadeniz and Semih Sentürk. The Czech Republic's roster includes Tomáš Ujfaluši, Zdenek Pospech, Václav Sverkoš and Stanislav Vlcek. Best of luck goes out to the ESPN announcers covering this game.

Pint scale: 3

France v Italy (Tuesday, June 17)

This game's intrigue would be through the roof if Zinedine Zidane hadn't retired following his moment of infamy in the 2006 World Cup. Still, it's a delightfully delicious rematch of that memorable final at the 2006 World Cup in Germany. While Zidane will likely be watching this one with great interest, it will be noted that Marco Materazzi is on Italy's Euro 2008 roster and should be a fixture on the team's defensive line. Do the French players have enough testicular fortitude to try and make it a point to make Materazzi feel some shame? Let's watch and find out!

Pint scale: 5

Greece v Spain (Wednesday, June 18)

Greece made an inspiring run to win the 2004 UEFA European Championships ahead of hosting that year's Olympic Games. En route to that triumph was a 1-1 draw against Spain in the group stage. That was a bitter pill to swallow for Spain, which did not advance to the second round of the tournament in just another disappointing finish for one of Europe's most talented squads.

Pint scale: 3

Stanley Cup finals ... it's cool on ice

2008-05-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

"The 2008 Stackley Cup Playoffs, a set of odd-number-of-games series that will determine the champion of the National Huckie League, are well underway, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman confirmed Monday." -- the Onion.

America may have been a bit too captivated by the three-month spectacle that is the NBA playoffs to notice that the NHL's Stanley Cup finals open play Saturday when the Detroit Red Wings host the Pittsburgh Penguins for Game 1.

Tipoff/kickoff/first puck slap is set for 5 p.m. PT.

What follows is more for personal use (since it's so gosh darn hard to keep track of when these games will be played in the busy sports calendar), but if the loyal readers of "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" find this useful, then "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will feel a minor sense of accomplishment.

Game 1: Penguins at Red Wings, Saturday, May 24, 5 p.m. PT on Versus in HD (yes, the Comcast-owned channel is, or soon will be, available in HD on cable television. So, when hockey season ends, you can get your fill of bull fighting, hunting, fishing, cycling, and people fighting in HD, on Versus. However, the NFL Network -- which features programming for a sport people actually care about -- is nowhere to be found on your TV in HD or good old fashioned regular D, but can be found on the Internet here, or here!)

Game 2: Penguins at Red Wings, Monday, May 26, 5 p.m. PT on Versus in HD (in lue of the aforementioned rant, hockey in HD is pretty sweet)

Game 3: Red Wings at Penguins, Wednesday, May 28, 5 p.m. PT on NBC (yes, THAT NBC)

Game 4: Red Wings at Penguins, Saturday, May 31, 5 p.m. PT on NBC (it should also be noted that NHL Stanley Cup final games on NBC are also in HD)

Game 5: Penguins at Red Wings, Monday, June 2, 5 p.m. PT on NBC (if necessary, and let's hope that is the case!)

Game 6: Red Wings at Penguins, Wednesday, June 4, 5 p.m. PT on NBC (if necessary, and let's hope that is the case!)

Game 7: Penguins at Red Wings, Saturday, June 7, 5 p.m. PT on NBC (if necessary, and let's hope that is the case, because there's nothing better in sports than a winner-take-all, loser-goes-home-in-shame, Game 7)

From Mr. Irrelevant to 'The Bachelorette'

2008-05-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

"The other men are horrified when Ryan doesn't offer her her coat outside and hogs most of the blanket. As he tells her he's been in the NFL, Spero walks out and says, 'Hey dude, why didn't you give your coat?' and wraps his own jacket around DeAnna's bare shoulders. Ryan apologizes and the other men joke that Spero, 'threw Ryan under the bus.' Ryan is sure that he's blown his chance for one of the first impression roses." -- Recap of episode 1 of the new season of The Bachelorette.

Just in case you were frantically trying to find out who exactly was the "pro football player" named "Ryan" on the season debut for The Bachelorette, you've come to the right place as "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" is here to provide a very valuable public service.

You're welcome.

The gentleman's name is Ryan Hoag. Avid TV viewers only know him as "Ryan," who claimed to have been "in and out of the NFL for the last five years." Avid football fans will recall Ryan Hoag, who was Mr. Irrevelant in the 2003 NFL Draft (the honor bestowed on the final player selected in the draft). His NFL resume suggests that the former Mr. Irrevelant should be very used to rejection.

Here's a short recap ...

Drafted by Raiders (pick No. 262) in 2003, released during training camp that same year.

Signed to Giants practice squad later in 2003, then released in May of 2004.

Signed by Vikings in June of 2004, spent three magical weeks on the team's active roster before being dropped to the practice squad, then released in September of 2005.

Signed again by the Vikings in April of 2006, then released for a second time by the team in Sept. of 2006.

Signed by the Redskins on Nov. 22, 2006, then released six days later.

Signed again by the Redskins, sent to play for the Berlin Thunder of NFL Europa, then was released in the team's final roster cuts in 2007.

Signed by the Edmonton Eskimos of the Canadian Football League, then released a month later.

Signs up to appear as one of 25 men vying to win the heart of one DeAnna Pappas on The Bachelorette, then was somehow awarded a rose in the show's first such ceremony, thus avoiding inevitable rejection for at least another week or so.

Much will made of Hoag in the coming weeks (or months, if the former footballer somehow survives the grueling test of winning over the heart of a woman who has many men to choose from), however, the book appears closed on his NFL career ... 0 games, 0 catches, 0 yards ... for the wide receiver out of tiny Gustavus Adolphus.

Bad beer

2008-05-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- author, satirist, political theorist, politician, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman and diplomat Benjamin Franklin

I drank beer last night. I'll drink more beer tonight. Over the course of an unspecified period of time, I will drink gallons upon gallons of beer. That is why the list of the "50 worst beers in the world" interests me greatly.

Check out the list.

Or, just look at it here ...

1. Olde English 800 3.2, Miller Brewing Company
2. Busch NA, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
3. General Generic Beer, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
4. O'Doul's, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
5. Pabst NA, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
6. B-40 Bull Max, Sleeman Brewing & Malting Co. (Sapporo)
7. Sleeman Clear, Sleeman Brewing & Malting Co. (Sapporo)
8. Gluek Stite Light Lager, Cold Spring Brewery
9. Michelob Ultra, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
10. Natural Light, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
11. Natural Ice, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
12. Milwaukee's Best, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
13. Camo Genuine Ale, City Brewery (Melanie Brewing Co)
14. Black Label 11-11 Malt Liquor, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
15. Hurricane Ice, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
16. Coors Non-Alcoholic, Coors Brewing Company (MolsonCoors)
17. Tooheys Blue Ice, Tooheys (Lion Nathan Co.)
18. Tuborg T-Beer, Carlsberg Brewery
19. PC 2.5 g Low Carb, Brick Brewing Company
20. Diamond White Cider, Matthew Clark Cider
21. St. Louis Lager, Kgalagadi Breweries (SABMiller)
22. Miller Sharps, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
23. Busch Ice, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
24. Coors Aspen Edge, Coors Brewing Company (MolsonCoors)
25. Camo Silver Ice High Gravity Lager, City Brewery (Melanie Brewing Co)
26. Jacob Best Ice, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
27. Genesee NA, High Falls Brewing Company
28. Bud Ice Light, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
29. Molson Kick, Molson Breweries (MolsonCoors)
30. Steelback Light (Link), Steelback Brewery
31. Tuborg T-Beer Citrus, Carlsberg Brewery
32. Rockman High Gravity Lager, Sleeman Brewing & Malting Co. (Sapporo)
33. Molson Ex Light, Molson Breweries (MolsonCoors)
34. Beer 30 Light, City Brewery (Melanie Brewing Co)
35. Labatt Sterling, Labatt Breweries (InBev)
36. Tuborg Super Light, Carlsberg Brewery
37. Steelback Lager (Silver), Steelback Brewery
38. Blue Ice Beer, San Miguel Brewery (Hong Kong)
39. Pabst Ice, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
40. Hek Original Lager Blonde Beer (Blue label), Groupe Geloso
41. Hurricane High Gravity Lager, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
42. Old Milwaukee Ice, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
43. Tooheys Blue Bitter, Tooheys (Lion Nathan Co.)
44. Fosters Light, Fosters Brewing (CUB)
45. Bud Light, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
46. Busch Light, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.
47. Cave Creek Chili Beer, Black Mountain Brewing Co.
48. Milwaukees Best Light, Miller Brewing Company (SABMiller)
49. Camo 900 High Gravity Lager, City Brewery (Melanie Brewing Co)
50. Bud Light Chelada, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 13

2008-05-11T14:07:00.000-07:00

The NFL Draft may have come and past, but "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" continues its countdown from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The ultimate all-time mock draft marches on with pick No. 13 ...

Kellen Winslow, TE, San Diego Chargers (1979, Missouri)

This was a tough call between Winslow (the daddy, not the kid who plays for the Cleveland Browns), Tony Gonzalez and to a lesser extent Bob Lilly, but mainly between two tight ends whose contributions were/are a major facet of their teams' offenses.

Gonzalez's numbers are more impressive than Winslow's, but one has to take into account the eras in which the two tight ends played. Winslow came into the league when tight ends were a third tackle on the line of scrimmage, rarely called on to be down-the-field pass-catching threats. Winslow is often credited with creating the tight end position as is today. Gonzalez is the best in the current NFL that is populated with tight ends called on to be frequent contributors on offense.

So, long story short, we like the pioneers here at "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff," rather than those who followed and performed at similarily spectacular levels.

"Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" also really likes unforgettable moments. One such moment occurred in the 1981 divisional playoffs, when the San Diego Chargers and Miami Dolphins played in the "Epic in Miami" game, in which Winslow caught a playoff record 13 passes for 166 yards and a touchdown, while also blocking a potential game-winning field goal with seconds remaining in the fourth quarter to send the game to overtime, where the Chargers eventually won the game. That performance, during which Winslow was treated for a pinched nerve in his shoulder, severe dehydration and cramps, is regarded as one of the single greatest efforts in NFL history.

Other notable players selected at No. 13 include ...

Tony Gonzalez, TE, Kansas City Chiefs (1997, California), who owns the NFL records for most receptions and touchdowns by a tight end.

Franco Harris, RB, Pittsburgh Steelers (1972, Penn State), who was one of the key contributors on four Super Bowl champion Steelers teams, as well as the key player in one of the most controversial plays in NFL history, the "Immaculate Reception."

Bob Lilly, DT, Dallas Cowboys (1961, TCU), who was the very first player drafted by the Cowboys, and went on to become the team's first-ever Hall of Famer.

Clarence "Ace" Parker, QB, Brooklyn Dodgers (1937, Duke), who helped direct the old Brooklyn football Dodgers to the best seasons in their brief history.

Being Bernie Brewer

2008-05-07T17:15:00.000-07:00

"I led the league in 'Go get 'em next time.'" -- Brewers Hall of Fame radio announcer Bob Uecker.

ESPN's Page 2 recently penned an historical expose called "Woe is the Milwaukee Brewers," a year-by-year recollection of the team's struggles on the field since its last playoff appearance.

As a life-long Brewers fan, I'm here to happily expound on that, having lived through this mayhem first-hand (hey, it's been borderline funny, if you have a good sense of humor).

Here is an irreverant season-by-season breakdown, going all the way back to 1983, the season after the Brewers' historic World Series appearance. I think this will be a more accurate representation of just how life as a Brewers fan has been ...

1983: Team traded center-field stalwart Gorman Thomas to the Cleveland Indians for Rick Manning, whose 20 home runs over four and a half seasons with the Brewers fell 19 short of Thomas' 1982 total.

1984: In a precursor of things to come, injury-prone Paul Molitor played in just 13 games as the Brewers fell six losses short of 100 defeats on the season.

1985: Pitcher Danny Darwin finishes a dismal 8-18, including a club record 10 straight losses, but manages to pitch a one-hitter, two-hitter and three-hitter, becoming the first Brewer hurler to do so.

1986: Gorman Thomas returns to the Brewers, but newcomer Teddy Higuera steals his thunder, as he becomes the first 20-game winner for the Brewers since Mike Caldwell in 1978.

1987: Brewers win first 13 games of season, which included a no-hitter by Juan Nieves and a magical Easter Sunday at County Stadium, but then went on to lose 18 of 20 games in May. Ouch! Paul Molitor's 39-game hitting streak only cemented the '87 Brewers' reputation as "Team Streak."

1988: Gary Sheffield begins a despicable four-year run with the Brewers.

1989: Sheffield is touted as an American League Rookie of the Year candidate, then goes on to intentionally throw balls into the stands after fielding grounders to prompt a trade.

"The Brewers brought out the hate in me," an honest Sheffield admitted in 1992. "I was a crazy man. I hated everything about the place. If the official scorer gave me an error I didn't think was an error, I'd say, 'OK, here's a real error,' and I'd throw the next ball into the stands on purpose.'"

1990: In typical fashion, Rob Deer smacks 27 home runs, but whiffs 147 times, in his final season with the team. From 1986 through 1990, his strikeout totals during this five-season stretch with the Brewers is the stuff of legend ... 179, 186, 153, 158 and 147.

1991: Sal Bando is named Senior Vice President at season's end, and then hires Phil Garner, a.k.a. "Scrapiron," as manager.

1992: Brewers finish 92-70, and then forced Milwaukee fans to wait another 15 years before seeing their team finish above .500 again.

1993: Franchise cornerstone Robin Yount concludes a remarkable 20-year career with the Brewers. Yount collected his 3,000th hit late in the 1992 season, thus assuring his place in Cooperstown in 1999.

1994: Brewers change their uniforms to these atrocities, thus ushering in an era of futility. Yes, you can totally blame hideously ugly uniforms for a team's poor performance on the field.

1995: Against their fans' best wishes, the team returns from baseball's devastating strike to finish 65-79.

1996: After finishing the season just two games under .500, the Brewers break ground on what will eventually become Miller Park.

1997: Ancient reliever Doug Jones records 36 saves, which would be a Brewers record for two seasons (broken by Bob Wickman's 37 saves in 1999).

1998: The Brewers become the first team in Major League Baseball history to switch leagues, moving over to the National League to accomodate the expansion Arizona Diamondbacks and Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

1999: Tragedy strikes at the construction site of Miller Park, thus delaying the opening of the park for another year.

2000: The Brewers' season opens with a tie against the Cincinnati Reds when weather forces the game to be suspended. Later in the season, with their playoff hopes totally shattered, the Brewers and Indians execute a seven-player trade that sends Rickie Sexson to Milwaukee.

2001: Back when his approval rating was still at an acceptable level, President George W. Bush takes time off from his duties as the nation's fearless leader to witness in person the Brewers' first game at Miller Park, a 5-4 victory over the Reds.

On an unrelated note, the new state-of-the-art stadium didn't feature Bernie Brewer's signature chalet and beer mug, just a crappy slide onto a platform. Lame!

2002: Miller Park hosts the All-Star Game, which results in the first tie in the Mid-Summer Classic's history. This event created quite a stir at the time, and prompted the "This time it counts" winner-gets-home-field-advantage-in-World Series All-Star Game that baseball fans enjoy today.

On the field, Jose Hernandez makes a magical run at the single-season record for whiffs, and the Brewers finish 56-106, the worst record in franchise history.

2003: Brewers fall two games short of getting their fans free hamburgers at George Webb's during a magical 10-game ride in August.

2004: At season's end, Los Angeles financier Mark Attanasio becomes the new owner of the team, thus ushering in a new era of hope for Brewers fans and ending Bud Selig and family's reign.

2005: Sporting an 81-79 record with two to playand threatening to have the first winning season in 13 years, the Brewers lose the final two games of the season in Pittsburgh to finish at an even .500.

2006: Injuries and a 27-54 road record doom the Brewers to a 75-87 record.

2007: Brewers blow eight and a half game lead in the NL Central. I pinpoint this disappointing collapse to one game ... a 6-5 loss to the Cubs on Friday, June 29, a game which my friend Aaron and I watched at Kate O'Brien's in San Francisco. Thankfully, we were sporting a healthy buzz fueled by wicked-awesome Bloody Marys and beer.

2008: In biggest oopsy-daisy of the Major League Baseball offseason, the Brewers sign reliever Eric Gagne to a lucrative free-agent contract.

Streaking

2008-05-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible." -- Baseball philosopher Sir Arthur C. Clarke.

I recently discovered a fun little game that has apparently been around on the Internets for quite some time ... Beat the Streak on MLB.com.

The concept is simple, try to break Joe DiMaggio's 1941 major-league record 56-game hitting streak by picking players you think will get hits each day. If your player doesn't get a hit, your streak ends. If you reach 57 games, you become a millionaire (or, as close to one as the taxman will allow).

I started playing Monday and selected Cubs sensation Kosuke Fukudome, who's hitting well north of .300 this season. He went 0 for 4. The next day, I figured Fukudome was due for a hit, given his high batting average and the fact that he went hitless the night before. He went 0 for 3. His batting average has fallen 20 points since I started picking him on Beat the Streak.

Like playing the game of baseball, this is apparently far more difficult that it looks.

MLBAM (that's short for "Major League Baseball Advanced Media") says that since it launched Beat the Streak in April 2001, more than one million contestants have played the free fantasy game on MLB.com, and a select few have come close to reaching the streak, including last year’s winner, Michael Karatzia of Sea Girt, N.J. Karatzia established a new all-time mark with a streak of 49 games, falling just a week shy of qualifying for last year’s grand prize. Overall, last year there were 14 individual streaks of at least 40 games, more than double the total from the first six seasons combined.

Last year's winner built his record-breaking streak by using a variety of the game's best hitters, including Vladimir Guerrero (9 times), Derek Jeter (8), Magglio Ordoñez (5) and Jose Reyes (4).

Since Monday, I've started a new streak ... how long can I go -- while selecting top major-league hitters -- without any of those talented batters getting a hit?

Today, I've got Albert Pujols. I don't like my chances of the hitless streak continuing into a third day. Pujols has reached base safely in every game this season (34 games with a hit and/or walk ...impressive). Pujols is hitting an impressive .348 and is currently riding a six-game hitting streak, which is six more than I have been able to muster on Beat the Streak. Pujols also wears No. 5. DiMaggio wore No. 5.

Stay tuned ...

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 14

2008-05-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 15

2008-05-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

Thursday's hot stove report

2008-05-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

"I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together." -- from Flobots' Handlebars.

The Cubs were defeated 4-3 by the Brewers in the rubber match of a three-game series on Thursday afternoon at Wrigley Field. This came a day after the Brewers were on the wrong end of a 19-5 debacle.

Somewhere in Chicago, there's a Cubs fan at a local sports bar downing his Budweiser and lamenting to anyone who will listen, "Why couldn't the Cubs have saved a couple of those runs last night for today?"

Do people seriously think teams can just simply hold on to some runs one day, and score those the next? A 19-run game is the happy confluence of bad pitching, timely hitting and likely some phsychological intangibles for both sides. Usually a 19-run game one day means pitching duel the next. That's just the way baseball works.

A college football playoff ... coming in 2015? At the earliest. :-(

But, there is some good news, two new bowls were approved for the 2008 season -- the St. Petersburg Bowl and the Congressional Bowl. Awesome! Somehow, the NCAA managed to regect something called the Rocky Mountain Bowl. Bummer ... if there's one thing college football needs more of, it's bowl games. Every team should get to go to a bowl game. Why not? Right? Right ...?

Once I hear the Flobots' song Handlebars, I can't get it out of my head. I'm really in trouble if I hear it in the morning.

Apparently, Handlebars has some sort of social/political message. All I can think about is the lyric "Me and my friend saw a platypus." Oh, and the Gobots, which were totally lame.

Call me crazy, but I'm legitimately excited for tonight's Red Bull New York-Toronto FC game (airing on ESPN2 at 4 p.m. PT). This will be my first glimpse of the crowd at Toronto's BMO Field, which is being touted as the closest to an European atmosphere as there is in Major League Soccer.

Also, I have Toronto's Laurent Robert on my MLS fantasy team, so I have that going for me.

The top five Champions League finals I've seen

2008-04-30T15:34:00.000-07:00

"We were sitting in the dressing room and we could clearly hear thousands of fans singing You'll Never Walk Alone. Can you imagine how that felt? We were 3-0 down in the Champions League final and all we could hear were 45,000 people letting us know they still believed in us. We knew they had endured a long journey and made so many sacrifices to be there. It was at that point we started to believe too." -- Liverpool's Luis Garcia, on what inspired his team's amazing comeback in the 2005 Champions League final in Istanbul.

While England won't be participating in this year's Euro 2008 festivities in Austria and Switzerland, at least it gets an all-English Champions League final to cheer for when Chelsea FC and Manchester United FC take to the pitch at Moscow's Luzhniki Stadium on May 21.

For the stat fan in all of us, this will only be the third time in the Champions League's 50 or so year history (it was previously known as the European Champion Clubs' Cup, which was often abbreviated to European Cup) that clubs from the same country have met in the finale. The other two times? Well, those happened ever so recently ... twice in the last eight years, in fact. In 2003, AC Milan beat Juventus FC in an all-Italian finale, and three years before that Real Madrid CF bested Valencia CF in an all-Spanish finale.

In honor (honour?), of this momentous occasion, here are the top five Champions League finals I've seen (going all the way back to 2002ish) ...

5. AC Milan 2-1 over Liverpool, 2007 -- AC Milan got a measure of revenge for that epic collapse in the 2005 Champions League final.

4. Real Madrid 2-1 over Bayer Leverkusen Fußball-bund, 2002 -- I remember this game only because it was played about a month before the first World Cup I can remember actually being excited to watch. It also marked the last time a German Bundesliga team played in the UEFA Champions League finale.

3. Barcelona 2-1 over Arsenal, 2006 -- Barca won, despite getting no goals from Ronaldinho, a precursor of things to come for the Brazilian in that year's World Cup.

2. AC Milan 0-0 (3-2 pen.) over Juventus, 2003 -- Watched this game from the Cock N Bull Pub in beautiful Santa Monica, Calif. Just happened to have off of work that day. It was cool drinking Guinness at 11 a.m.

1. Liverpool 3-3 (3-2 pen.) over AC Milan, 2005 -- Greatest Champions League final ever ... and to argue with a guy who's only seen a few of the 50 or so Champions League finals would be foolhardy.

Your first place (Devil) Rays

2008-04-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

"The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major-league level." -- former Devil Rays GM Chuck LaMar in 2005.

Tonight, the Baltimore Orioles host the Tampa Bay (formely the Devil) Rays in a base-ball game at venerable Oriole Park at Camden Yards.

It should be noted that this is the latest in the season in recent memory that either team has played in a game that mattered.

Many have joked that the Rays' current six-game winning ride has to be the longest in team history. This statement is usually appropriately followed with some LOLs.

However, let's set the record straight ... the longest winning streak in Tampa Bay Devil Rays/Rays franchise history is 12 games, and that magical march took place in June 2004. It should be noted, that monumental winning streak helped the Devil Rays reach a season-high two games over .500 on July 3 (40-38). This was a historic benchmark in the team's history.

So, this year's incarnation of the Rays is still only half way home to tying the franchise mark. Still, congratulations Rays, enjoy this brief moment of bliss of looking down at the Red Sox and Yankees in the AL East standings.

Today's daily baseball notes: Roger Clemens appears to be in some hot water. ... Coco Crisp remains a strong candidate to get moved in a trade. ... Cubs fans will have a new curse to blame for their team's losses on the ballfield. New Wrigley sensation Kosuke Fukudome is on the cover of this week's Sports Illustrated. SI goes as far as to suggest now might be the time for Cubs fans to start snatching up those World Series tickets. Fukudome won't be the first Japanese baseball import to appear on the cover of SI. Ichiro's made at least one appearance we can think of at the moment. ... Speaking of SI covers, here's Rollie Fingers wearing the classic Milwaukee Brewers threads in 1981. ... The Onion is reporting that the Yankees have buried Bernie Williams under their new stadium for good luck. ... So, Jason Taylor was on Dancing with the Stars doing a little ditty to the theme to Monday Night Football while sporting outfits in the colors of the Miami Dolphins. Which leads us to one question: What if Taylor had been traded during the draft to, say, the Cleveland Browns? ... University of Wisconsin-Whitewater running back Justin Beaver has been invited to try out for the Green Bay Packers at this weekend's minicamp. ... I just found a way to fit David Beckham under the salary cap for my Major League Soccer fantasy team.

Photos of cheerleaders, just because. Part I

2008-04-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

My friend Eric said he liked this blog because there were photos of cheerleaders. Here are some more!

Why I like the Bundesliga ...

2008-04-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 16

2008-04-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The ultimate all-time mock draft marches on with pick No. 16 ...

Jerry Rice, WR, San Francisco 49ers (1985, Mississippi Valley State)

This is the ultimate no-brainer pick in the all-time ultimate mock draft. Rice owns virtually every significant pass receiving record and has a ridiculous list of career accomplishments, including 13 Pro Bowls, a Super Bowl MVP award, two offensive player of the year awards, being named to the NFL's 76th anniversary all-time team and being a member of both the 1980s and 1990s all-decade teams. When Rice set the record for touchdown receptions in one season with 22 in the strike-shortened 1987 season (since broken by Randy Moss, who had 23 scores in 2007), the next closest player -- Mike Quick -- had 11 touchdowns.

The one title that Rice does not possess is the Dancing with the Stars title that Emmitt Smith eventually won. In Season 2 of the series, Rice placed second in the dance competition with partner Anna Trebunskaya.

Other notable players selected at No. 16 include ...

Dan McGwire, QB, Seattle Seahawks (1991), who was selected seven spots ahead of Todd Marinovich and 17 spots ahead of future Hall of Famer Brett Favre.

Jim Richter, OG, Buffalo Bills (1980), who played on all four of the Buffalo Bills' Super Bowl teams.

Elmo Wright, WR, Kansas City Chiefs (1971), who is credited with being the father of the end zone dance.

Gene Washington, WR, San Francisco 49ers (1969), who was a four-time Pro Bowler and is now the director of football operations for the NFL.

Current NFL players selected at No. 16: Justin Harrell, DT, Green Bay Packers (2007, Tennessee); Jason Allen, CB, Miami Dolphins (2006, Tennessee); Travis Johnson, DT, Houston Texans (2005, Florida State); Shawn Andrews, OT, Philadelphia Eagles (2004, Arkansas); Troy Polamalu, S, Pittsburgh Steelers (2003, USC); Santana Moss, WR, New York Jets (2001, Miami, Fla.); Julian Peterson, LB, San Francisco 49ers (2000, Michigan State); Jevon Kearse, DE, Tennessee Titans (1999, Florida).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 17

2008-04-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The ultimate all-time mock draft continues with pick No. 17 ...

Emmitt Smith, RB, Dallas Cowboys (1990, Florida)

One of the most complete players to ever play the position of running back, Smith was the first player in NFL history to rush for 1,400 or more yards in five consecutive seasons. His durability and knack for finding a running lane resulted in Smith becoming the NFL's all-time leading rusher with 18,355 yards, breaking a record previously held by Walter Payton.

Smith's running lifted the Cowboys to three Super Bowl victories, including an MVP effort in Super Bowl XXVIII.

Smith is also the only player in the ultimate all-time mock draft to have won Dancing with the Stars, teaming with professional dancer Cheryl Burke to take first in the competition in the fall of 2006. Smith was heralded for "making dancing look manly."

Other notable players selected at No. 17 include ...

Doug Williams, QB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1978), who made history when the Redskins won Super Bowl XXII.

Gene Upshaw, G, Oakland Raiders (1967, Texas A&M), who was the first player who played exclusively at guard to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Mel Renfro, DB, Dallas Cowboys (1964, Oregon), who played 14 seasons for the Cowboys, helping lead Dallas to four Super Bowl appearances, including two wins.

Current NFL players selected at No. 17: Jarvis Moss, DE, Denver Broncos (2007, Florida); Chad Greenway, LB, Minnesota Vikings (2006, Iowa); D.J. Williams, LB, Denver Broncos (2004, Miami, Fla.); Bryant Johnson, WR, Arizona Cardinals (2003, Penn State); Phillip Buchanon, CB, Oakland Raiders (2002, Miami, Fla.); Steve Hutchinson, OG, Seattle Seahawks (2001, Michigan); Sebastian Janikowski, K, Oakland Raiders (2000, Florida State); Damien Woody, C, New England Patriots (1999, Boston College); Brian Simmons, LB, Cincinnati Bengals (1998, North Carolina).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 18

2008-04-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The ultimate all-time mock draft continues with pick No. 18 ...

Paul Krause, S, Washington Redskins (1964, Iowa)

Talk about making an impact in your rookie season, Krause picked off 12 passes in his first season with the Redskins in 1964. When was the last time the NFL had a player intercept 12 or more passes? You have to go all the way back to 1980, when the Oakland Raiders' Lester Hayes picked off 13 passes.

That 1964 season propelled Krause to become the NFL's all-time leader with 81 interceptions, which were collected over the course of a 16-year NFL career. Krause was eventually traded to the Vikings, with whom he was the starting free safety on all four of the Vikings' Super Bowl teams. Krause was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1998.

Other notable players selected at No. 18 include ...

Art Monk, WR, Washington Redskins (1980, Syracuse), who will be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame this year.

Jim Hill, DB, San Diego Chargers (1968, Texas A&M-Kingsville), who is famous in the Los Angeles area for his sports reporting on CBS channel 2's Sports Central.

John Henry Johnson, FB, Pittsburgh Steelers (1953, Arizona State), who was a part of the 49ers' famed "Million Dollar Backfield" that also included Hall of Famers Hugh McElhenny, Y.A. Tittle and Joe Perry.

Frank "Bruiser" Kinard, T, Brooklyn Dodgers (1938, Mississippi), who weighed just 195 pounds, but packed enough of a punch to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1971.

Tuffy Leemans, B, New York Giants (1936, George Washington), who was a member of the NFL's very first draft class (in 1936), helped the Giants contend for the league title on an annual basis, and was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1978.

Current NFL players selected at No. 18: Leon Hall, CB, Cincinnati Bengals (2007, Michigan); Bobby Carpenter, LB, Dallas Cowboys (2006, Ohio State); Erasmus James, DE, Minnesota Vikings (2005, Wisconsin); Will Smith, DE, New Orleans Saints (2004, Ohio State); Calvin Pace, DE, Arizona Cardinals (2003, Wake Forest); T.J. Duckett, RB, Atlanta Falcons (2002, Michigan State); Jeff Backus, OT, Detroit Lions (2001, Michigan); Chad Pennington, QB, New York Jets (2000, Marshall); Eddie Kennison, WR, St. Louis Rams (1996, LSU).

The long national nightmare that is the NBA playoffs is under way

2008-04-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

The Cleveland Cavaliers and Washington Wizards tipped off the fun with Game 1 on Saturday. Game 2 is scheduled for next Thursday.

I have solid word from sources that the finals matchup will be: Boston Celtics vs. Los Angeles Lakers

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 19

2008-04-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The pick is in, the envelope has been opened and the commissioner has the pick ...

Marvin Harrison, WR, Indianapolis Colts (1996, Syracuse)

Two current Hall of Famers were selected in the No. 20 spot in the draft (tight end John Mackey and defensive back Roger Wehrli), but "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" is going with a sure-fire future Hall of Famer, Marvin Harrison.

Harrison is quietly one of the greatest receivers of all time. Without ever spiking the ball, making a scene with the media or showing anybody up on national television, Harrison's low-key on-field demeanor is a rarity among elite wide receivers currently in the NFL.

En route to becoming the only receiver with four consecutive seasons with 100 or more receptions, Harrison set a single-season record for receptions with 143 in 2002, breaking the previous record (set by Herman Moore in 1995) by 20 catches. Harrison is an eight-time Pro Bowl selection, an eight-time All-Pro and finally earned that elusive Super Bowl ring after the 2006 season.

Other notable players selected at No. 19 include ...

Randall McDaniel, G, Minnesota Vikings (1988), who was a semifinalist for induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame this year.

Darryl Stingley, WR, New England Patriots (1973), whose career was cut short by a vicious hit in a preseason game by ...

Jack Tatum, DB, Oakland Raiders (1971), who once said, "I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault."

Roger Wehrli, DB, St. Louis Cardinals (1969, Missouri), who was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2007 and is also a member of the NFL's 1970s all-decade team.

John Mackey, TE, Baltimore Colts (1963, Syracuse), the Hall-of-Fame tight end's most famous reception came in Super Bowl V, when he caught a deflected pass from Johnny Unitas for a 75-yard touchdown, a Super Bowl record at the time.

Current NFL players selected at No. 19: Michael Griffin, S, Tennessee Titans (2007, Texas); Antonio Cromartie, CB, San Diego Chargers (2006, Florida State); Alex Barron, OT, St. Louis Rams (2005, Florida State); Vernon Carey, OT, Miami Dolphins (2004, Miami, Fla.); Kyle Boller, QB, Baltimore Ravens (2003, California); Ashley Lelie, WR, Denver Broncos (2002, Hawaii); Casey Hampton, NT, Pittsburgh Steelers (2001, Texas); Shaun Alexander, RB, Seattle Seahawks (2000, Alabama); Luke Petitgout, G, New York Giants (1999, Notre Dame); Vonnie Holliday, DE, Green Bay Packers (1998, North Carolina); Marvin Harrison, WR, Indianapolis Colts (1996, Syracuse); Todd Steussie, OT, Minnesota Vikings (1994, California).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 20

2008-04-09T16:05:00.001-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

Hindsight is always 20/20, which is why it's going to be fun to present the greatest player ever selected in the No. 20 spot ...

Forrest Gregg, OT, Green Bay Packers (1956, SMU)

Now that we're creeping up the first round, the picks get tougher to make. This one at No. 20 featured two very talented Hall of Fame players in Forrest Gregg and Jack Youngblood.

Ultimately, given Gregg's resumé, he became the choice here. Gregg was a nine-time Pro Bowler, a nine-time All-Pro, and once played in a then-league record 188 consecutive games from 1956 until 1971. The greatest coach of all time, Vince Lombardi, claimed "Forrest Gregg is the finest player I ever coached!" in his book Run to Daylight. In addition, Gregg helped pave the way for the Packers to win five NFL championships, including two Super Bowls.

Youngblood, who we regrettably passed over on this selection, is famous for helping lead the Los Angeles Rams through the 1979 playoffs while playing on a broken leg.

Other notable players selected at No. 20 include ...

Steve Atwater, S, Denver Broncos (1989), who earned a reputation as one of the NFL's hardest-hitting safeties. His hit on the "Nigerian Nightmare," Christian Okoye, is the stuff of legend.

Will Wolford, OT, Buffalo Bills (1986), who was a three-time Pro Bowler and a member of three of the Bills' four consecutive AFC championship teams.

Jack Youngblood, DE, Los Angeles Rams (1971), whose career started as a backup to Deacon Jones. Youngblood's play eventually forced the Rams to trade Jones. Youngblood was a 2001 inductee into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Current NFL players selected at No. 20: Aaron Ross, CB, New York Giants (2007, Texas); Tamba Hali, DE, Kansas City Chiefs (2006, Penn State); Marcus Spears, DE, Dallas Cowboys (2005, LSU); Kenechi Udeze, DE, Minnesota Vikings (2004, USC); George Foster, OT, Denver Broncos (2003, Georgia); Javon Walker, WR, Green Bay Packers (2002, Florida State); Adam Archuleta, S, St. Louis Rams (2001, Arizona State).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 21

2008-04-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

This one was a tough call, but we're going to go with ...

Randy Moss, WR, Minnesota Vikings (1998, Marshall)

Pro Football Hall of Famer Lynn Swann was also a No. 21 overall pick, but our choice is Moss. While often spectacular when making a catch, Swann never had a 1,00-yard receiving season; Moss has had eight in 10 seasons. Moss' presence in his 1998 rookie season single-handedly lifted the Vikings' offense to a record for points in a season, and his record 23 touchdown receptions in 2007 helped the Patriots finish the regular season undefeated.

The Washington Redskins hold the No. 21 pick in this year's draft, which means that spark the Redskins' offense desperately needs can finally be added.

Other notable players selected at No. 21 include ...

Gabe Rivera, NT, Pittsburgh Steelers (1983), who was the Steelers' pick when the hometown team passed on local quarterback Dan Marino.

Lynn Swann, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers (1974), who was part of a draft class that helped establish the Steelers as the dynasty of the 1970s.

Current NFL players selected at No. 21: Reggie Nelson, S, Jacksonville Jaguars (2007, Florida); Laurence Maroney, RB, New England Patriots (2006, Minnesota); Matt Jones, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars (2005, Arkansas); Vince Wilfork, DT, New England Patriots (2004, Miami, Fla.); Jeff Faine, C, Cleveland Browns (2003, Notre Dame); Daniel Graham, TE, New England Patriots (2002, Colorado); Nate Clements, CB, Buffalo Bills (2001, Ohio State); L.J. Shelton, OT, Arizona Cardinals (1999, Eastern Michigan); Randy Moss, WR, Minnesota Vikings (1998, Marshall); Renaldo Wynn, DT, Jacksonville Jaguars (1997, Notre Dame); Pete Kendall, G, Seattle Seahawks (1996, Boston College).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 22

2008-04-08T12:21:00.001-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

I can't believe we've gone 10 picks without having a player named "Ernie" selected. Today, we're in luck ...

Ernie Stautner, DT, Pittsburgh Steelers (1950, Boston College)

Considered by teammates and opponents as one of the toughest competitors the great game of football has ever produced, Stautner was a 1969 inductee into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Toiling with a consistently mediocre Steelers teams long before the franchise became a dynasty in the 1970s, Stautner was a fixture along Pittsburgh's defensive line for 14 seasons, earning first- or second-team All-NFL honors in nine of those seasons.

Born in Prinzing-by-Cham, Bavaria, Stautner went on to become head coach of the Frankfurt Galaxy of NFL Europe, who he would lead to two consecutive World Bowls in 1995 and 1996, winning in 1995.

The Dallas Cowboys hold the No. 22 pick in this year's draft, which is sort of a coincidence in that Stautner coached the defense for the Cowboys -- starting in 1966 -- when "Doomsday" started to take shape as one of the NFL's dominant defenses.

Other notable players selected at No. 22 include ...

Andre "Bad Moon" Rison, WR, Indianapolis Colts (1989), who was one of the NFL's most dangerous receivers while playing in the Atlanta Falcons' run-and-shoot offense in the early 90s. Rison went on to anger Browns fans, and then help the Packers win Super Bowl XXXI.

William Perry, DT, Chicago Bears (1985), who was a central character in the Chicago Bears' run to victory in Super Bowl XX. Then, "The Fridge" went on to become immortalized with a G.I. Joe action figure, star in numerous commercials, appear in Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest as a "celebrity contestant," attempt to comeback in pro football with the London Monarchs of the World League of American Football and lose in a celebrity boxing match to Manute Bol.

Jack "Hacksaw" Reynolds, LB, Los Angeles Rams (1970), who played in three Super Bowls, one with the Rams (Super Bowl XIV), and then win two with the 49ers (Super Bowl XVI and Super Bowl XIX).

Current NFL players selected at No. 22: Brady Quinn, QB, Cleveland Browns (2007, Notre Dame); Manny Lawson, LB, San Francisco 49ers (2006, N.C. State); Mark Clayton, WR, Baltimore Ravens (2005, Oklahoma); J.P. Losman, QB, Buffalo Bills (2004, Tulane); Rex Grossman, QB, Chicago Bears (2003, Florida); Bryan Thomas, DE, New York Jets (2002, Alabama-Birmingham); Will Allen, CB, New York Giants (2001, Syracuse).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 23

2008-04-06T16:55:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

We're having a good time here, so let's keep the fun rolling ...

Ozzie Newsome, TE, Cleveland Browns (1978, Alabama)

A college and Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee, Newsome was a seven-time All-Pro selection and was named to the NFL's 1980s all-decade team. Newsome was also the ultimate iron man tight end, playing in 198 consecutive games for the Browns, including a streak of 150 consecutive games with a reception. Newsome's 662 receptions and 7,980 receiving yards are both Browns franchise records.

Let's check out other notable players selected at No. 23 ...

Bruce Armstrong, OT, New England Patriots (1987), who was a six-time Pro Bowl selection during his 14-year career in New England.

Ray Guy, P, Oakland Raiders (1973), who remains the only punter ever selected in the first round of the NFL Draft.

Current NFL players selected at No. 23: Dwayne Bowe, WR, Kansas City Chiefs (2007, Louisiana State); Davin Joseph, G, Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2006, Oklahoma); Fabian Washington, CB, Oakland Raiders (2005, Nebraska); Marcus Tubbs, DT, Seattle Seahawks (2004, Texas); Willis McGahee, RB, Buffalo Bills (2003, Miami, Fla.); Napoleon Harris, LB, Oakland Raiders (2002, Northwestern); Deuce McAllister, RB, New Orleans Saints (2001, Mississippi); Antoine Winfield, CB, Buffalo Bills (1999, Ohio State); Ty Law, CB, New England Patriots (1995, Michigan).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 24

2008-04-06T16:28:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

Let's make this pick a winner ...

Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams (2004, Oregon State)

We made note of it when we unveiled pick No. 25, but the case is the same in the No. 24 spot ... no future Hall of Famers were ever selected with this pick.

Steven Jackson isn't an easy pick to make in the all-time ultimate mock draft, but this player is selected simply based on what Rams fans should be able to expect from the running back over the next few years. As the Rams' workhorse back, Jackson should be able to produce numerous 1,000-yard seasons (he already has three in four seasons), which would make him decidedly more valuable to his team than any other player ever selected in the No. 24 spot.

Let's check out other notable players selected at No. 24 for further evaluation ...

Robert Jones, LB, Dallas Cowboys (1992), who was a member of the Cowboys' three Super Bowl-winning teams in the 1990s.

Todd Marinovich, QB, Los Angeles Raiders (1991), who was first dubbed "Robo QB," but then earned a more undesirable "Todd Marijuanavich" nickname.

Craig Heyward, RB, New Orleans Saints (1988), after rushing for 4,301 yards in the NFL, "Ironhead" went on be showcased in humorous commercials for Zest body wash.

Roy Foster, OG, Miami Dolphins (1982, Southern California), of, "mom ... you put too much salt in the pound cake last week" fame.

James Brooks, RB, San Diego Chargers (1981, Auburn), who was a four-time Pro Bowler and was the Bengals' all-time leading rusher when he left the team after the 1991 season.

Archie Griffin, RB, Cincinnati Bengals (1976, Ohio State), the only two-time winner of the Heisman Trophy never really recaptured his collegiate magic, but did play in Super Bowl XVI against the 49ers.

Raymond Chester, TE, Oakland Raiders (1970, Morgan State), who was one of the more productive tight ends in the NFL in the 1970s. Chester was also the starting tight end on the Raiders' Super Bowl XV-winning team.

Calvin Hill, RB, Dallas Cowboys (1969, Yale), who was a four-time Pro Bowler and a member of the Cowboys' Super Bowl VI-winning team.

Current NFL players selected at No. 24: Brandon Meriweather, DB, New England Patriots (2007, Miami, Fla.); Jonathan Joseph, CB, Cincinnati Bengals (2006, South Carolina); Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay Packers (2005, California); Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams (2004, Oregon State); Dallas Clark, TE, Indianapolis Colts (2003, Iowa); Ed Reed, S, Baltimore Ravens (2002, Miami, Fla.); Eric Moulds, WR, Buffalo Bills (1996, Mississippi State).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 25

2008-04-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

Historically speaking, this is the worst spot to be picking from. Still, we think we found a winner ...

Stanley Morgan, WR, New England Patriots (1977, Tennessee)

Pity the Seattle Seahawks, who are the unfortunate holders of pick No. 25 in this year's draft. Over the course of the draft's history, this spot -- along with pick No. 24 (which we'll get to another time) -- has yet to produce a Hall of Famer.

Still, we were able to get the Seahawks the underrated Stanley Morgan, who will go on to have a long, productive career, but not productive enough to be considered for induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Morgan went to four Pro Bowls, had 1,000 receiving yards or more three times and gained a reputation as one of the NFL's most explosive wide receivers, averaging an astonishing 19.2 yards per catch in his 14-year NFL career (13 of which with the Patriots, who he helped lead to the Super Bowl in 1985).

Picking No. 25 can be a serious pitfall. Some solid players have been selected in that spot recently. However, the Packers got burned twice in the No. 25 spot while trying to improve their cornerback position. In 1999, the team selected Antuan Edwards, and then in 2004 Green Bay picked Ahmad Carroll. Part of a draft class that included three defensive backs (in an attempt to better cover the über-talented Randy Moss), Edwards started just 18 games over five seasons with the green and gold, while Carroll was a complete bust, lasting just three lackluster seasons with the Packers.

Other notable players selected at No. 25 include ...

Tommy Maddox, QB, Denver Broncos (1992), who played his way back into the NFL via the New Jersey Red Dogs of the Arena Football League and the L.A. Xtreme of the XFL (where he was the league MVP) after an unsuccessful first stint as a backup with the Broncos, Giants and Falcons. Maddox became a starter for the Steelers, who he led to the playoffs in 2002 and then a memorable come-from-behind victory over the rival Cleveland Browns in a wild-card playoff game.

Johnny Rodgers, WR, San Diego Chargers (1973), who is one of many Heisman Trophy winners who failed to produce in the NFL (catching just 17 passes for 234 yards in two seasons with the Chargers).

Current NFL players selected at No. 25: Jon Beason, LB, Carolina Panthers (2007, Miami, Fla.); Santonio Holmes, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers (2006, Ohio State); Jason Campbell, QB, Washington Redskins (2005, Auburn); William Joseph, DT, New York Giants (2003, Miami, Fla.); Charles Grant, DE, New Orleans Saints (2002, Georgia); Chris Hovan, DT, Minnesota Vikings (2000, Boston College); Donovin Darius, S, Jacksonville Jaguars (1998, Syracuse).

Beckham scores!

2008-04-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

"I think tonight was a good team performance. After our first game, which was difficult to take, we worked hard tonight and played well and that makes us happy." -- David Beckham, on the L.A. Galaxy's 2-0 win over the San Jose Earthquakes, the team's first of the season.

A little more than 400 days after the shocking news broke that David Beckham was going to sign a lucrative deal to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy, the former England football captain finally netted his first Major League Soccer goal.

Here in L.A., the moment was met with ovation, jubilation, adulation and laudation (thank you Thesaurus.com!).

What has happened in the world, and world of sports, since Beckham's announcement on Jan. 11, 2007?

Here's a comprehensive breakdown ...

The Colts defeated the Bears in Super Bowl XLI.

A 2,100-year-old melon is discovered by archaeologists in western Japan.

Bob Barker airs his last episode of The Price is Right.

Apple's new iPhone is released.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 14,000 for the first time in history (then, tumbles to is current status in the 12,500 range).

Barry Bonds breaks Hank Aaron's career home run record.

The Giants ruined the Patriots' quest for a perfect season by winning Super Bowl XLII.

Still, let's celebrate the moment.

Are you a fool this April Fool's Day?

2008-04-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine." -- Homer Simpson.

It's April Fool's Day, which means there may be some publications out there doing some creative writing rather than actual reporting.

It's good fun, unless, of course, you happen to be totally suckered by one of these fiction-can-be-fun pieces.

Here is a pop quiz for you to enjoy this wonderful day. Some of these sports headlines are real, others not so much. Pick which ones are true and which ones are false, then grade yourself.

Let's begin ...

1. David Beckham and LA Galaxy hammered

2. Favre is back for one more

3. Soccer robots compete for the title

4. Nazi orgy scandal causes F1 uproar

5. Toronto FC fans get drunk, puke, at Crew game

6. Build-A-Bear expands to Washington Nationals stadium

7. Bill Gates to revive XFL, expand it to 12 teams False, this one should have been easy

8. Man U fans angry after being allocated anti-hooligan seats

9. Giants, Pats cheerleaders to play own powder puff Super Bowl

10. Travel to Miami, check out fat cheerleaders

Here are the answers ...

1. David Beckham and LA Galaxy hammered ... True, and it has nothing to do with the overconsumption of alcoholic beverages, which likely would have been more fun for the Galaxy.

2. Favre is back for one more ... False, though one student newspaper got some locals all fired up.

3. Soccer robots compete for the title ... True ... who would win if Autobots FC took on Decepticons United?

4. Nazi orgy scandal causes F1 uproar ... True, as F1 boss makes Elliott Spitzer look like a choir boy

5. Toronto FC fans drunk and rowdy at Crew game ... True ... maybe Major League Soccer should reconsider having a team north of the border.

6. Build-A-Bear expands to Washington Nationals stadium ... True ... and who doesn't want to have a cuddly teddy bear dressed in the gear of their favorite baseball team?

7. Bill Gates to revive XFL, expand it to 12 teams ... False, this one should have been easy to answer. Though, you'd be lying if you said you weren't longing for the return to the L.A. Xtreme, Memphis Maniax, Orlando Rage and New York/New Jersey Hitmen.

8. Man U fans angry after being allocated anti-hooligan seats ... True, and Red Devil fans won't be throwing seats onto the field. So sad.

9. Giants, Pats cheerleaders to play own powder puff Super Bowl ... False, joke's on you, totally made that one up ... LOL! Giants don't even have cheerleaders.

10. Travel to Miami, check out fat cheerleaders ... Sad, but true, as the Marlins debuted an all-male, plus-sized cheerleading squad. What is happening to our great national pastime?

How many did you get right? Grade yourself ...

7-10: Mensa here you come!

4-6: It's OK, not great, or even good. Borderline lousy, actually

1-3: "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" is dumber for having known you took the first-annual "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" April Fool's Day pop quiz

Top 10 sports days of the year

2008-03-31T15:03:00.000-07:00

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." -- former Major League Baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti, in A Great and Glorious Game: Baseball Writings of A. Bartlett Giamatti

It's frickin' Opening Day!

And, it's in March!

Where does March 31, 2008 rank among the greatest sports day of the year? Find out with this top 10 list ...

10. Day before/after baseball's All-Star Game: There are 365 days in a calendar year (366 on those special Leap years, 2008 is included on that fun), and each contains some sort of sporting event. Err, actually, 363 days a year contain some sort of sporting event. This is actually a non-sports day entry in the greatest sports days of the year. The day before, and after, Major League Baseball's All-Star Game contain no sports (we don't count the home run contest —- held the day before the All-Star Game —- that's just an exhibition). For those of us working in sports journalism, it gives us a much-needed breather.

9. Trade deadline day: Last minute deals can make or break a title hopeful, and when the 11th hour hits some blockbuster deal may or may not go down and may or may not make some pretender into a contender.

8. Thanksgiving: Turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and football. How could you go wrong? You can't, unless the Lions and Cowboys both really suck. Then, you won't feel guilty if the ol' tryptophan-induced coma takes effect and you pass out on the couch.

7. NFL draft day: At the beginning of this Saturday marathon, everybody's a winner. Suddenly, the Oakland Raiders can reach the playoffs and the Arizona Cardinals are Super Bowl contenders. Of course, that is, until teams go out and draft Ryan Leaf, Heath Shuler, Blair Thomas or Tony Mandarich.

5. New Year's Day: After a full night of boozing and carousing, there's no better way to ring in the new year's first day than by laying on the couch and taking in a full day of gridiron action. Whether you're watching your alma mater, or trying to get a glimpse of the NFL's next big stars, college football's grandest day is one of the most eagerly anticipated days of the year.

6. NFL kickoff Sunday: All 32 teams kick off 0-0 with high hopes for the Super Bowl. When the day is done, 16 teams are 0-1, with a handful of teams getting beaten down so bad their season already seems lost. On the other hand, some underdog may shock a traditional power and suddenly there's a new contender. Parity can be fun.

4. NFL conference championship Sunday: Over the course of time, conference championship Sunday has provided some of the most memorable games moments in football history ... the Ice Bowl, The Catch, The Drive, The Fumble all occurred on conference championship Sunday. If it wasn't for the recent string of amazingly competitive Super Bowls, this day would be ranked ahead of Super Sunday.

3. Baseball's opening day: In the rich tradition of baseball's openers, hope springs eternal, and there's always hope your favorite team can reach the Fall Classic. For the countless millions who live in parts of the country where winter can still hold a firm grip well into March, the opening of the baseball season can mean an end to the year's bitter chill and beginning of more comfortable weather. With stadiums laced with bunting and presidents throwing out first pitches, baseball's openers are part of this country's rich sporting heritage.

2. Super Bowl Sunday: This unofficial national holiday features the year's most-watched sporting event and the biggest group gathering day of the year. If you're not watching for the football, then you've certainly got your eyes glued to the TV for the commercials. Every once in a while the Super Bowl produces a real gem of a game.

1. NCAA tournament opening round: For casual college hoops fans, the Final Four can be very anticlimactic. Many will agree that the tournament's opening round is the NCAA basketball's real gem. In a two-day span, your bracket turns to mush as year-in and year-out some Cinderella shows up to ruin some top-notch program's hopes of advancing far into the tournament.

Extra credit goes to this great sports day when it happens to land on St. Patrick's Day.

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 26

2008-03-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

This is the one draft a team would not want to trade out of the first round to get more picks in the later rounds. With that in mind, let's get the No. 26 overall pick ...

Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore Ravens (1996, Miami, Fla.)

Passing on Hall of Fame guard Joe Delamielleure is a tough thing to do in this spot, but to pick up a player of Lewis' caliber, not to mention the immense emotional impact he can have on a team, is simply too tempting.

Lewis -- a two-time defensive player of the year, seven-time All-Pro and nine-time Pro Bowl selection -- willed the Ravens to the Super Bowl XXXV title and became the first linebacker to win Super Bowl MVP honors since 1971. Lewis' Super Bowl numbers weren't impressive (3 tackles, 2 assists and 4 passes defensed), but Lewis was recognized more for being the heart and soul of one of the best defensive units ever assembled and for arguably the most impressive defensive performance in Super Bowl history.

The Jacksonville Jaguars hold the No. 26 pick in this year's draft, and a player of Lewis' status would be the sort of addition that could give Jacksonville the most fearsome defense in the league and make the Jaguars the team to beat in the AFC.

Other notable players selected at No. 26 include ...

Jim Druckenmiller, QB, San Francisco 49ers (1997), who was drafted to succeed Steve Young as the next great 49ers quarterback. That didn't happen (not even close), as Druckenmiller started just one game and four years later was quarterbacking the Memphis Maniax of the XFL.

Henry Jones, DB, Buffalo Bills (1991), who was a member of three of the Bills' four Super Bowl teams of the early 1990s.

Jim Harbaugh, QB, Chicago Bears (1987), who led the Indianapolis Colts to the brink of the Super Bowl in 1995, and is now currently the head coach at Stanford.

Don Mosebar, C, Los Angeles Raiders (1983), who played 13 seasons for the Raiders, with whom Mosebar teamed with guards Steve Wisniewski (1989-2001) on his left and Max Montoya (1990-1994) on his right, anchoring a trio of outstanding blockers that combined for nine Pro Bowl appearances in the five years they were together.

Joe Delamielleure, G, Buffalo Bills (1973), who was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2003.

Current NFL players selected at No. 26: Anthony Spencer, LB, Dallas Cowboys (2007, Purdue); John McCargo, DT, San Francisco 49ers (2006, N.C. State); Chris Spencer, C, Seattle Seahawks (2005, Mississippi); Chris Perry, RB, Cincinnati Bengals (2004, Michigan); Kwame Harris, OT, San Francisco 49ers (2003, Stanford); Lito Sheppard, CB, Philadelphia Eagles (2002, Florida); Jamar Fletcher, CB, Miami Dolphins (2001, Wisconsin); Fernando Bryant, CB, Jacksonville Jaguars (1999, Alabama); Alan Faneca, G, Pittsburgh Steelers (1998, Louisiana State); Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore Ravens (1996, Miami, Fla.).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 27

2008-03-29T15:14:00.001-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The pick is in and the commish is stepping up to the microphone for the No. 27 overall pick in the all-time ultimate mock draft ...

Dan Marino, QB, Miami Dolphins (1983, Pittsburgh)

The first round of the 1983 draft has gone down as one of the best ever, and for good reason. Talk about nice back-to-back picks; we've already included the No. 28 overall pick from that draft in the all-time ultimate mock draft, Darrell Green, and now we have Marino, who went a pick earlier to the Dolphins in one of the great steals in draft history. That 1983 draft is famous for the number of quarterbacks taken, as John Elway (No. 1), Todd Blackledge (No. 7), Jim Kelly (No. 14), Tony Eason (No. 15) and Ken O'Brien (No. 24) all went before Marino.

Despite playing, and coming up short, in just one Super Bowl appearance, Marino went on to set a number of passing records, many of those career marks were recently broken by Brett Favre.

Marino's 1984 season is the stuff of legend. His 5,084 yards passing remains an NFL record, while his record of 48 touchdown passes took 20 years to break (by Peyton Manning, who saw his record broken this past season by Tom Brady). Marino's records of four games of 400 or more passing yards and six games with four or more touchdown passes still stand.

The San Diego Chargers hold the No. 27 pick in this year's draft. This would be quite the noodle scratcher for the Bolts, given that they've already invested in Philip Rivers to be their franchise quarterback. Hmm ... stick with Rivers, or get one of the greatest passers to ever put on a pair of pads?

Other notable players selected at No. 27 include ...

Tommy Kramer, QB, Minnesota Vikings (1977), who was a one-time Pro Bowler who earned the nickname "Two Minute Tommy" for many late game come-from-behind victories.

Reggie McKenzie, G, Buffalo Bills (1972), who was a member of the Buffalo Bills' famous "Electric Company" offensive line that helped pave the way for O.J. Simpson's 2,000-yard rushing season in 1973.

Current NFL players selected at No. 27: Robert Meachem, WR, New Orleans Saints (2007, Tennessee); DeAngelo Williams, RB, Carolina Panthers (2006, Memphis); Roddy White, WR, Atlanta Falcons (2005, Alabama-Birmingham); Jason Babin, LB, Houston Texans (2004, Western Michigan); Larry Johnson, RB, Kansas City Chiefs (2003, Penn State); Mike Rumph, CB, San Francisco 49ers (2002, Miami, Fla.); Michael Bennett, RB, Minnesota Vikings (2001, Wisconsin); Anthony Becht, TE, New York Jets (2000, West Virginia); Mark Bruener, TE, Pittsburgh Steelers (1995, Washington).

Exhaustively irreverent MLS preview

2008-03-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

"I fell in love with football as I would later fall in love with women: suddenly, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain it would bring." -- Author Nick Hornby in Fever Pitch.

You may and/or may not know that Major League Soccer is ready to kick off its 13th season.

To celebrate, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will preview the upcoming season as only "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" can.

Then, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will host an MLS opening night viewing party. "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will have plenty of beer to drink and snacks to snack on as the Galaxy and Rapids go at it in glorious HD. You're not invited.

Below you will find teams listed in their predicted order of finish.

Eastern Conference

1. D.C. United

Who to know: This team features three Argentinians -- Marcelo Gallardo, Franco Niell and Gonzalo Peralta -- and two Brazilians -- Luciano Emilio and Fred (no, not THAT Fred, silly!), which would seem like a recipe for success in the game of soccer. Need an added fun fact? Emilio is your defending Golden Boot champion.

One liner: United longer has to play second fiddle to the Washington Nationals at ol' RFK.

2. Chicago Fire

Who to know: Cuauhtémoc Blanco, who is not a favorite of loyal U.S. national team followers.

One liner: A full season with Blanco has to have Fire fans dreaming of capturing the big silver soccer ball trophy in that big game at the end of the season.

3. New England Revolution

Who to know: Taylor Twellman -- All's Twell with the Revo when No. 20 puts one in the back of the ol' onion basket.

One liner: Can Revo FC equal the Buffalo Bills' remarkable run of four consecutive appearances in the league championship game?

4. Red Bull New York

Who to know: Juan Pablo Angel -- If you're lucky enough to have an MLS fantasy team, you should make sure you have him on your roster.

One liner: The Red Bulls could be without the services of the talented Jozy Altidore for an extended period of time this summer as the forward will compete in the Games of the XXIX Olympiad in soccer, rhythmic gymnastics and the modern pentathlon (totally kidding about those last two events ... LOL!).

5. Kansas City Wizards

Who to know: Former Argentinian World Cup performer Claudio Lopez, who was arguably the biggest offseason signing in all of Major League Soccer, according to unnamed Internets sources.

One liner: The Wizards have moved out of cavernous Arrowhead and into CommunityAmerica Ballpark, where they will play until the team is moved to a more lucrative market.

6. Toronto FC

Who to know: The Red Patch Boys, which is a Toronto FC supporters group that apparently goes by the motto, "No girls allowed!"

One liner: Beating the Crew means winning the new Trillium Cup (named for the official wildflower of Ohio and the flower of the province of Ontario, just in case you were curious). Only at "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" do you get that sort of knowledge.

7. Columbus Crew

Who to know: Guillermo Barros Schelotto, who is regarded as the most significant signing in club history. I dare you to try to name a more significant Crew FC signing. You can't, can you? Wait, can you?

One liner: Franchise-long playoff drought will extend to four seasons. Four seasons doesn't seem like that long of a time if you're a fan of teams such as the Arizona Cardinals (nine seasons without a playoff berth), Tampa Bay Devil Rays/now just the Rays (nine seasons) and Milwaukee Brewers (25 seasons ... still though, congratulations 1982 Brewers, champions of the American League!).

Western Conference

1. Chivas USA

Who to know: The ChivaGirls. The new 2008 squad will make their Home Depot Center debut on Saturday, April 5 when the local 11 takes on Real (pronounced REE-all) Salt Lake.

One liner: Remember, you heard it here first ... Goats will win the U.S. Open Cup and Superliga championship, but fail to make it to MLS Cup.

2. Los Angeles Galaxy

Who to know: David Beckham. Well, duh!

One liner: Second-place Western finish totally contingent on David Beckham and Carlos Ruiz staying out of the training room.

3. Houston Dynamo

Who to know: Dwayne De Rosario, who is described on his MLSnet.com player page as being "a dynamic player with a tremendous work ethic. He consistently pulls off the unexpected. He scores spectacular goals, and is very effective in distributing the ball in scoring opportunities." In other words, he's good.

One liner: Dynamos always earn major props for being only MLS team to prominently sport the color orange.

4. FC Dallas

Who to know: Kenny Cooper, who at a time played for the Manchester United reserve squad.

One liner: Dallas has not won a playoff series since 1999, when the team was known as the Burn. Thankfully, they changed that name.

5. Colorado Rapids

Who to know: Christian Gomez, the former league MVP who arrived at Dick's Sporting Goods Park to help Rapids FC reach Major League Soccer prominence.

One liner: The team that formerly looked like Inter Milan, now looks like Arsenal after a switch to burgundy as a primary color last season.

6. Real Salt Lake

Who to know: Kyle Beckerman, who sports dreadlocks and is also a relatively cheap alternative for the midfield of your Major League Soccer fantasy team.

One liner: Expansion is the only thing that keeps sad sack Salt Lake out of the Western Conference cellar.

7. San Jose Earthquakes

Who to know: Ronnie O'Brien, is Irish and apparently likes playing for expansion teams. Last year, O'Brien played for the expansion Toronto FCs.

One liner: The Earthquakes are the Cleveland Browns of MLS, or so we're being told. When the original Earthquakes/Clash moved to Houston to become the Dynamo, the team's colors, logo, history and records remained in San Jose. Sadly, the "new" Earthquakes couldn't keep the players, who won the MLS Cup again last year.

Speaking of the MLS Cup, let's make a Totally-Just-Guessing-On-This-One Prediction^TM ...

MLS Cup 2008: Houston Dynamo over Chicago Fire. Place recreational bets accordingly.

David Beckham photo taken by talented picture taker Ben Liebenberg.

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 28

2008-03-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

Unlike the real first round of the NFL Draft, this one is moving along at a brisk pace. The next pick is in, so let's go to the microphone ...

Darrell Green, DB, Washington Redskins (1983, Texas A&I)

While often holding the title as the NFL's fastest man, Green helped the Redskins win two Super Bowls -- Super Bowls XXII and XXVI -- while also earning seven Pro Bowl selections in his 20 seasons with Washington.

The Dallas Cowboys hold the No. 28 pick in this year's draft, and given that they are entertaining the idea of acquiring the troubled Pacman Jones, it would appear selecting Green in this spot would be a much more desirable option.

Other notable players selected at No. 28 include ...

Andy Katzenmoyer (1999), who isn't exactly "notable" so much as "hmm, whatever happened to him?" After a neck injury prematurely ended his career, Katzenmoyer settled in as an assistant football coach and defensive coordinator at Westerville South High School (Ohio).

Mark Ingram (1987), who made a crucial third-down play on a touchdown drive in the Giants' Super Bowl XXV victory over the Buffalo Bills.

Bennie Cunningham (1976), who played on the Pittsburgh Steelers' Super Bowl XII- and XIV-winning teams.

Current NFL players selected at No. 28: Joe Staley, OT, San Francisco 49ers (2007, Central Michigan); Marcedes Lewis, TE, Jacksonville Jaguars (2006, UCLA); Luis Castillo, DE, San Diego Chargers (2005, Northwestern); Chris Gamble, CB, Carolina Panthers (2004, Ohio State); Andre Woolfolk, CB, Tennessee Titans (2003, Oklahoma); Jerramy Stevens, TE, Seattle Seahawks (2002, Washington); Rob Morris, LB, Indianapolis Colts (2000, BYU); R.W. McQuarters, CB, San Francisco 49ers (1998, Oklahoma State); Trevor Pryce, DT, Denver Broncos (1997, Clemson); Derrick Brooks, LB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1995, Florida State).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 29

2008-03-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The ultimate all-time mock draft continues with pick No. 29 ...

Fran Tarkenton, QB, Minnesota Vikings (1961, Georgia)

"Scramblin' Fran" retired as the NFL's all-time leader is every significant passing record. His career passing record stood until Dan Marino broke the record, and then Brett Favre eventually passed Marino in 2007. Tarkenton remains fifth all-time on the career passing leader list. Tarkenton was a 1986 inductee into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

The 49ers -- who hold the 29th pick in this year's draft -- will be holding an open quarterback competition during training camp this summer and sure could use Tarkenton added into the mix.

Other notable players selected at No. 29 include ...

Chris Spielman (1988), who was a four-time Pro Bowl selection and led the Lions in tackles each of his eight seasons with the team.

Nate Odomes (1987), who was a starting cornerback for the Buffalo Bills when the team made an unprecedented four consecutive Super Bowls.

Joe Cribbs (1980), who was a three-time 1,000-yard rusher and three-time Pro Bowler for the Buffalo Bills in the early 80s.

Tommy Casanova (1972), who was a college football legend at Louisiana State before going on to earn three Pro Bowl berths.

Jim Mandich (1970), who scored three touchdowns for the 1972 Dolphins, who finished the season a perfect 17-0.

Dave Wilcox (1964), nicknamed "The Intimidator," the linebacker was a 2000 inductee into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Current NFL players selected at No. 29: Ben Grubbs, OG, Baltimore Ravens (2007, Auburn); Nick Mangold, C, New York Jets (2006, Ohio State); Marlin Jackson, S, Indianapolis Colts (2005, Michigan); Michael Jenkins, WR, Atlanta Falcons (2004, Ohio State); Nick Barnett, LB, Green Bay Packers (2003, Oregon State); Marc Colombo, OT, Chicago Bears (2002, Boston College); Ryan Pickett, DT, St. Louis Rams (2001, Ohio State).

Old man Burns' dream team

2008-03-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

"Okay, let's go over the ground rules. You can't leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning." -- Umpire talking over ground rules to Homer Simpson and Chief Wiggum before a softball game in Homer at the Bat

Playing against Jose Canseco in a recreational softball game, then regaling stories of said encounter to whoever would listen, has me reminiscing about some great Canseco moments ...

Canseco's 40-40 season in 1988 (quick, name the other three players who have achieved that milestone in the years since. You can't, can you?).

Canseco's grand slam home run that hit the center-field camera during that classic Game 1 of the 1988 World Series.

The homer Canseco hit into the fifth deck of Toronto's Skydome during the 1989 ALCS.

The fly ball that bounced off Canseco's noggin and over the fence for a home run in 1993.

The time Canseco was the voice of reason on VH1's The Surreal Life.

Then, there's episode 8F13 of the Simpsons ...

Homer at the Bat originally aired on Feb. 20, 1992 (when daddy Bush was the president and the Minnesota Twins were defending World Series champions), and is arguably the greatest of all Simpsons episodes.

In that classic Simpsons episode, Canseco was recruited by Smithers to play for Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in the championship softball game, but along with his fellow ringers was felled by a series of unfortunate, yet quite hilarious, events.

Sure, everybody knows which -- at the time -- current major-league players made an appearance in Homer at the Bat, but who were the ballplayers who were originally slated by C. Montgomery Burns (after scouring the American, National and Negro Leagues) to play for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant?

Here is old man Burns' dream team (complete with fun facts, tidbits and other happy anecdotes for your reading pleasure) ...

Pitcher -- 3-Finger Brown (career statistics): Played 100 years ago, died 60 years ago, but still has an official website.

Catcher -- Gabby Street (career statistics): Once caught a baseball dropped from the top of the Washington Monument.

First base -- Cap Anson (career statistics): Played in a record 27 consecutive seasons, all before the turn of the century (umm, and that would be the 19th Century).

Second base -- Napoleon "Nap" Lajoie (career statistics): Mentioned in the poem Lineup for Yesterday by Ogden Nash ...

L is for Lajoie
Whom Clevelanders love,
Napoleon himself,
With glue is his glove.

Good stuff! Let's move on ...

Shortstop -- Honus Wagner (career statistics): "When I was a boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there on the warmth of a summer afternoon we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him I wanted to be a major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be president of the United States. Neither of us got our wish." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Third base -- Pie Traynor (career statistics): With a professional baseball playing career that ended in 1937, Traynor was the most "modern" player on Burns' dream team. Still, Traynor had passed away 20 years before Homer at the Bat originally aired.

Left field -- Shoeless Joe (career statistics): Ray Liotta as "Shoeless" Joe Jackson in Field of Dreams and batting right handed makes me cringe every time I see it.

Center field -- Harry Hooper (career statistics): Only player to be a part of four Red Sox World Series championships (1912, 1915, 1916, 1918).

Right field -- Jim Creighton (sorry, no stats :-( ... only a wikipedia bio): Infamous player on Burns' dream team that Smithers points out, "In fact, your right fielder has been dead for 130 years." Creighton died suddenly at the age of 21 in 1962, seven years before the debut of the Cincinnati Red Stockings, baseball's first openly all-professional team.

Jose Canseco, recreational softball player

2008-03-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

"Before I die, I will hit 500 home runs. I don't care what's in my future -- broken leg, broken ankle ... more back surgery ... I'll play until I'm 45 if I have to." -— Jose Canseco

The Head Hunters defeated the two-time defending Santa Monica Friday night men's "C" league champion Bar Rats a bunch of runs to not so much in a showdown on Friday night.

The Head Hunters' victory was powered by Jose Canseco. Let's repeat that again for effect ... the Head Hunters' victory was powered by Jose Canseco.

Canseco made a much-ballyhooed Friday night softball debut, socking one long home run, lining for left for a single, and then popping out twice on long fly balls that were tracked down by the Bar Rats' skilled outfielders.

Canseco's line: 2-4, 1B, HR
My line: 2-3, 2 1B (including a hit when Canseco took the mound)

"I'm not letting Canseco walk me," I said to whoever would listen after the game. "He was obviously trying to pitch around me."

Actually, Canseco's softball pitching -- much like his ill-fated appearance on the mound at Fenway Park -- left more to be desired. He walked a couple Bar Rats and some of his pitches were better suited for fast-pitch softball. He also showed why he never won a Gold Glove while playing in the big leagues, making an errant throw to first that resulted in an error.

Canseco's 17-year major-league career ended after the 2001 season with 462 home runs, just 38 short of the 500-homer milestone many use as a barometer for induction into baseball's Hall of Fame (Complete stats). In 2007, he received just six Hall of Fame votes and failed to meet the threshold necessary to stay on the ballot for another year.

Despite the novelty factor of Canseco's appearance, the loss was particularly bitter for the Bar Rats, who failed to get a good inning going at the plate and made numerous fielding and baserunning errors.

"Tonight we let one guy get into our heads and we lost," team manager "Grim" said. "Now this game is in the past. Starting next game let's go out there and kick some (expletive)."

Below are some photos from Friday night's game ...

Canseco at the plate.

Canseco at the dish, ready to rake.

Me at the dish, ready to rake.

Canseco connects, blasting a home run over the head of the Bar Rats' speedy, talented, devilishly handsome left-center fielder.

Me connecting, hitting a single.

Being the nice guy that he is, Canseco poses for a photo with the Bar Rats softball club.

Photos taken by the girl I'm sorta kinda seeing.

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 30

2008-03-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The Green Bay Packers are on the clock, and their make-believe ultimate all-time mock draft pick is in ...

Sam Huff, LB, New York Giants (1956, West Virginia)

True story: Sam Huff very nearly didn't become the player he did with the New York Giants. Then-assistant coach Vince Lombardi convinced Huff to stay with the team (with a lecture on guts and determination). Later, then-assistant Giants coach Tom Landry created the 4-3 defense to better utilize Huff's immense talents. A Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee in 1982, Huff had legendary on-the-field confrontations with Browns running back Jim Brown and the Packers' Jim Taylor.

The Packers, who feature the NFL's youngest roster and holders of the No. 30 spot in this year's draft, are in the envious "drafting best player available" position. Despite already having Nick Barnett and A.J. Hawk at linebacker, the Packers would be foolish to pass on Huff, who would be the impact player the Packers need to put their solid defense over the top.

Other notable players selected at No. 30 include ...

Reggie Wayne (2001), who has emerged as one of the NFL's most dangerous receivers, leading the league with 1,510 yards in 2007 and helping the Colts win Super Bowl XLI the previous season.

Eric Allen (1988), who was a six-time Pro Bowler and returned four interceptions for touchdowns in 1993.

Marion Barber (1982) ... not the one who plays for the Cowboys, silly, but Marion Barber III's father, who played seven mostly undistinguished seasons with the Jets.

Greg Pruitt (1973), who was a five-time Pro Bowler for the Browns and Raiders (as a kick returner for the L.A. Raiders' Super Bowl XVIII-winning team). Pruitt was known for wearing flimsy, tear-away jerseys that came apart when would-be tacklers attempted to bring the talented back down. This led to a rule to abolish tear-away jerseys.

Current NFL players selected at No. 30: Craig Davis, WR, San Diego Chargers (2007, Louisiana State); Joseph Addai, RB, Indianapolis Colts (2006, Louisiana State); Heath Miller, TE, Pittsburgh Steelers (2005, Virginia); Kevin Jones, RB, Detroit Lions (2004, Virginia Tech); Sammy Davis, CB, San Diego Chargers (2003, Texas A&M); Kendall Simmons, OG, Pittsburgh Steelers (2002, Auburn); Reggie Wayne, WR, Indianapolis Colts (2001, Miami, Fla.); Keith Bullock, LB, Tennessee Titans (2000, Syracuse); Patrick Kerney, DE, Atlanta Falcons (1999, Virginia).

By the way, there are some great Huff photos out there, so here's another to enjoy ...

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 31

2008-03-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

We continue this series with pick No. 31, and all players picked in the 31st slot of the draft -- regardless of round -- are considered for this draft. Let's get on with the pick ...

Tommy McDonald, WR, Philadelphia Eagles (1957, Oklahoma)

The last non-kicker to play in the NFL without a facemask, McDonald was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1998, and remains the only player ever selected at No. 31 in the draft to achieve such lofty honors.

The Giants own the No. 31 pick in this year's draft, and with the likes of Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer, Steve Smith and David Tyree already on the current roster, selecting McDonald may not address an area of dire need. Nonetheless, the defending Super Bowl champions certainly could add another player who knows a thing or two about winning ball games. While playing for legendary coach Bud Wilkinson at the University of Oklahoma, McDonald never played in a losing game. McDonald went on to help lead the Eagles to the 1960 NFL championship with a win over Vince Lombardi's Green Bay Packers.

Other notable players selected at No. 31 include ...

Wide receiver Carl Pickens (1992), a two-time Pro Bowler with the Bengals.

Linebacker Roman Phifer (1991), who earned three Super Bowl rings with the Patriots.

Running back Ickey Woods (1988), who celebrated touchdowns with the "Ickey Shuffle" while helping lead the Bengals to a surprising run to the Super Bowl in 1988.

Defensive back Nolan Cromwell (1977), who was a four-time Pro Bowler for the Los Angeles Rams.

Linebacker Bill Bergey (1969), who was a five-time Pro Bowler for the Bengals and Eagles.

Defensive tackle Curley Culp (1968), who was a six-time Pro Bowler and helped lead the Chiefs to victory in Super Bowl IV and later was a driving force for the "Luv Ya Blue" Houston Oilers of the late 70s.

Current NFL players selected at No. 31: Greg Olsen, TE, Chicago Bears (2007, Miami, Fla.); Kelly Jennings, CB, Seattle Seahawks (2006, Miami, Fla.); Mike Patterson, DT, Philadelphia Eagles (2005, Southern California); Rashaun Woods, WR, San Francisco 49ers (2004, Oklahoma State); Nnamdi Asomugha, CB, Oakland Raiders (2003, California); Robert Thomas, LB, St. Louis Rams (2002, UCLA); Todd Heap, TE, Baltimore Ravens (2001, Arizona State).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 32

2008-03-13T12:20:00.000-07:00

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

We kick this series off with pick No. 32, which wasn't a yearly first-round institution until the Houston Texans became the NFL's 32nd team in 2002. That year, the Washington Redskins -- obviously desperately looking for the future at quarterback -- selected Patrick Ramsey with the 32nd pick in that draft.

Still, we're considering all players selected with pick No. 32 in the NFL Draft's proud 70-plus year history. And when those selections are taken into account, here's the pick ...

Bob St. Clair, OT, Tulsa (1953, San Francisco 49ers)

Back in the day, St. Clair was just a third-round selection. Still, the tackle went on to an 11-year, hall of fame career in San Francisco, where he helped pave the way for the 49ers' "Million Dollar Backfield" that included future Hall of Famers Hugh McElhenny, Joe Perry and Y.A. Tittle.

St. Clair would be a swell fit for the Miami Dolphins, who hold pick No. 32 in this year's draft (the New England Patriots were forced to forfeit their first-round pick due to some much-publicized indiscretions you may and/or may not have read about in the papers, thus a 31-pick first round). In addition to eating all of his meat raw, the 6-foot-9 St. Clair was credited with blocking 10 field goal attempts in 1956.

St. Clair was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1990, and remains the only player selected at No. 32 in the NFL Draft to attain such distinction.

Current NFL players selected at No. 32: Anthony Gonzalez, WR, Indianapolis Colts (2007, Ohio State); Mathias Kiwanuka, DE, New York Giants (2006, Boston College); Logan Mankins, OG, New England Patriots (2005, Fresno State); Ben Watson, TE, New England Patriots (2004, Georgia); Tyler Brayton, DE, Oakland Raiders (2003, Colorado); Patrick Ramsey, QB, Washington Redskins (2002, Tulane); Drew Brees, QB, San Diego Chargers (2001, Purdue); Dennis Northcutt, WR, Cleveland Browns (2000, Arizona); Jerome Pathon, WR, Indianapolis Colts (1998, Washington).

America needs you

2008-03-07T16:44:00.000-08:00

"When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland." -- some fella named J.P. Dunleavy

We interrupt 24-hour coverage of the legendary Brett Favre's untimely and unfortunate retirement to bring you a very important public service announcement.

Guinness is attempting to make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday here in the U.S. of A.

Yes, the sort of national holiday that could secure you a day off for this day-long drinking binge.

This is the sort of public initiative we can all can agree on, get behind, rally support for, get approved, then celebrate at the local pub with a beautiful pint of a certain dry stout with a thick, creamy head brewed at St. James's Gate Brewery in a little happy place known as Dublin, Ireland.

At time of publication, the brewers of Guinness had secured 132,727 of the one million signatures it needs by March 16 to formally present a petition to Congress to get this thing done.

Yes, Guinness needs your help. St. Patrick needs your help. Little leprechauns need your help. Your favorite local watering hole needs your help. Go here to join the cause. It's for the good of America.

Some little-known fun facts about St. Patrick's Day ...

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated worldwide by Irish people, and increasingly by non-Irish people.

Americans like to celebrate the holiday by wearing green clothing.

Alcohol is the center of many St. Patrick's Day celebrations.