Monday, September 22, 2008

Monday Night Nose Tackle: Patriots get dose of comeuppence

"Karma is a funny thing." -- Earl Hickey, My Name is Earl.

A funny thing happened Sunday.

The Miami Dolphins administered a shocking, yet very satisfying, pants-down spanking of the New England Patriots. A team that won one game in 2007 whipped the team that had won an NFL-record 21 consecutive regular-season games.

For the record, the Patriots outscored the Dolphins 77-35 in their two meetings last season, including a 28-point second quarter in a 49-28 Week 7 win in Miami. Many accused the Patriots of running up the score.

The way the Dolphins -- 0-2 going into Sunday -- worked the Patriots in a 38-13 win Sunday was the clearest evidence yet that the Patriots' problems go deeper than at quarterback.

Let's go inside the numbers ...

» In ending the Patriots' 21-game regular-season win streak, the Dolphins ended their own 11-game road losing streak.
» The Patriots' 22-point loss was the second-largest under coach Bill Belichick at home (Patriots lost by 24 to the Chargers on Oct. 2, 2005).
» The Patriots allowed 461 yards, the fourth-highest total under Belichick (highest since allowing 478 yards in a 35-28 win over the Bengals on Dec. 12, 2004).
» Sunday marked the first time since 1993 that the Patriots allowed four rushing touchdowns in a game. The Patriots allowed five against the Jets on Sept. 26, 1993.
» The Patriots were outgained by 245 yards -- 461 to 216 -- and the defense allowed 8.1 yards per play.
» The Dolphins ran six direct snap plays to Ronnie Brown at QB, and those plays resulted in four touchdowns and 119 yards.

It was written in this spot just two weeks ago that Tom Brady's season-ending injury may also mean the end of the Patriots as we've known them for the past few years.

"They outplayed us. They outcoached us. They obviously deserved to win. They were the better team," Patriots coach Bill Belichick said after the game.

While the Dolphins move out of the "Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer" drop zone, the Patriots fall out of the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCSTM rankings.

With that in mind, let's take this week's gander at how the NFL power rankings would look like if it were like the BCS (well, kinda ... it has much less computer-generated controversy).

Important note!: The Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCSTM rankings include three very basic components: overall win-loss record, how good teams did against other good teams, and my own profound opinion. Each component will count one-third (more or less or so) of a team's overall Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCSTM score in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCSTM standings.

Here are the latest Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCSTM rankings of the season (just the top 12, or the number of teams that would make the playoffs if the playoff teams were based totally on the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCSTM formula, which isn't really a formula at all because we're not that good at math and don't trust a computer with a sketchy Firewall) ...

1. New York Giants (Last week: 1) -- Worked overtime to beat the hapless Bengals. But this isn't like the college football polls, there are no style points in the NFL. Just get the win.

2. Dallas Cowboys (Last week: 2) -- Collected their first-ever win at Lambeau Field (1-5 all-time, including playoffs).

3. Philadelphia Eagles (Last week: 4) -- One series of plays in the second quarter was indicative of the frustrations experienced by the Steelers against the stingy Eagles defense. In an eight-play stretch, the Steelers gave up five sacks, committed a false start penalty and threw an interception.

4. Buffalo Bills (Last week: 7) -- Up next: The 0-3 Rams.

5. Denver Broncos (Last week: 8) -- This week's "Thank You!" card goes to Martin Gramatica, who missed a potential go-ahead field goal with just under two minutes left in the game. In all, Gramatica missed two field goal attempts for the Saints.

6. Tennessee Titans (Last week: 12) -- Kerry Collins' play may give Vince Young a permanent spot on the bench.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers (Last week: 3) -- Were humbled by the Eagles, and subsequently dropped in the Just-Totally-Made-Up NFL BCSTM accordingly.

8. Baltimore Ravens (Last week: NR) -- Dropped rival Browns to second 0-3 start in two seasons.

9. Green Bay Packers (Last week: 6) -- Have a lot of work to do before they can compete with the NFC's best.

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last week: NR) -- When did the Buccaneers install the run-and-shoot offense? Brian Griese attempted 67 passes against the Bears.

11. Washington Redskins (Last week: NR) -- In beating the Cardinals for the seventh consecutive time, the Redskins halted the Cardinals' NFL-best streak of scoring 20-plus points at 10 games.

12. San Francisco 49ers (Last week: NR) -- The "Greatest Show on Turf" has hit the West Coast. Faced with a fourth-and-goal situation at the Lions' 1-yard line, 49ers offensive coordinator Mike Martz called for an end around that Allen Rossum took in for a score that gave the 49ers a pivotal late-game score.

Teams in danger of relegation if the NFL were like European soccer ...

30. Detroit Lions -- This may and/or may not be news, but Matt Millen's job appears in jeopardy.

31. St. Louis Rams -- Have been outscored by opponents 116-29 this season.

32. Kansas City Chiefs -- Continuing with the pro football misery in Missouri, the Chiefs have lost 12 consecutive games, extending their franchise worst streak.

Week 4 picks:

Panthers over Falcons
Bengals over Browns
Jaguars over Texans
Titans over Vikings
Broncos over Chiefs
Saints over 49ers
Packers over Buccaneers
Cardinals over Jets
Chargers over Raiders
Bills over Rams
Cowboys over Redskins
Eagles over Bears
Steelers over Ravens

Week 3 record: 12-4
Overall record: 32-15

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