Top 10 sports days of the year

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." -- former Major League Baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti, in A Great and Glorious Game: Baseball Writings of A. Bartlett Giamatti


It's frickin' Opening Day!

And, it's in March!

Where does March 31, 2008 rank among the greatest sports day of the year? Find out with this top 10 list ...

10. Day before/after baseball's All-Star Game: There are 365 days in a calendar year (366 on those special Leap years, 2008 is included on that fun), and each contains some sort of sporting event. Err, actually, 363 days a year contain some sort of sporting event. This is actually a non-sports day entry in the greatest sports days of the year. The day before, and after, Major League Baseball's All-Star Game contain no sports (we don't count the home run contest —- held the day before the All-Star Game —- that's just an exhibition). For those of us working in sports journalism, it gives us a much-needed breather.

9. Trade deadline day: Last minute deals can make or break a title hopeful, and when the 11th hour hits some blockbuster deal may or may not go down and may or may not make some pretender into a contender.

8. Thanksgiving: Turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and football. How could you go wrong? You can't, unless the Lions and Cowboys both really suck. Then, you won't feel guilty if the ol' tryptophan-induced coma takes effect and you pass out on the couch.


7. NFL draft day: At the beginning of this Saturday marathon, everybody's a winner. Suddenly, the Oakland Raiders can reach the playoffs and the Arizona Cardinals are Super Bowl contenders. Of course, that is, until teams go out and draft Ryan Leaf, Heath Shuler, Blair Thomas or Tony Mandarich.

5. New Year's Day: After a full night of boozing and carousing, there's no better way to ring in the new year's first day than by laying on the couch and taking in a full day of gridiron action. Whether you're watching your alma mater, or trying to get a glimpse of the NFL's next big stars, college football's grandest day is one of the most eagerly anticipated days of the year.

6. NFL kickoff Sunday: All 32 teams kick off 0-0 with high hopes for the Super Bowl. When the day is done, 16 teams are 0-1, with a handful of teams getting beaten down so bad their season already seems lost. On the other hand, some underdog may shock a traditional power and suddenly there's a new contender. Parity can be fun.

4. NFL conference championship Sunday: Over the course of time, conference championship Sunday has provided some of the most memorable games moments in football history ... the Ice Bowl, The Catch, The Drive, The Fumble all occurred on conference championship Sunday. If it wasn't for the recent string of amazingly competitive Super Bowls, this day would be ranked ahead of Super Sunday.


3. Baseball's opening day: In the rich tradition of baseball's openers, hope springs eternal, and there's always hope your favorite team can reach the Fall Classic. For the countless millions who live in parts of the country where winter can still hold a firm grip well into March, the opening of the baseball season can mean an end to the year's bitter chill and beginning of more comfortable weather. With stadiums laced with bunting and presidents throwing out first pitches, baseball's openers are part of this country's rich sporting heritage.



2. Super Bowl Sunday: This unofficial national holiday features the year's most-watched sporting event and the biggest group gathering day of the year. If you're not watching for the football, then you've certainly got your eyes glued to the TV for the commercials. Every once in a while the Super Bowl produces a real gem of a game.

1. NCAA tournament opening round: For casual college hoops fans, the Final Four can be very anticlimactic. Many will agree that the tournament's opening round is the NCAA basketball's real gem. In a two-day span, your bracket turns to mush as year-in and year-out some Cinderella shows up to ruin some top-notch program's hopes of advancing far into the tournament.

Extra credit goes to this great sports day when it happens to land on St. Patrick's Day.

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 26

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

This is the one draft a team would not want to trade out of the first round to get more picks in the later rounds. With that in mind, let's get the No. 26 overall pick ...

Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore Ravens (1996, Miami, Fla.)


Passing on Hall of Fame guard Joe Delamielleure is a tough thing to do in this spot, but to pick up a player of Lewis' caliber, not to mention the immense emotional impact he can have on a team, is simply too tempting.

Lewis -- a two-time defensive player of the year, seven-time All-Pro and nine-time Pro Bowl selection -- willed the Ravens to the Super Bowl XXXV title and became the first linebacker to win Super Bowl MVP honors since 1971. Lewis' Super Bowl numbers weren't impressive (3 tackles, 2 assists and 4 passes defensed), but Lewis was recognized more for being the heart and soul of one of the best defensive units ever assembled and for arguably the most impressive defensive performance in Super Bowl history.

The Jacksonville Jaguars hold the No. 26 pick in this year's draft, and a player of Lewis' status would be the sort of addition that could give Jacksonville the most fearsome defense in the league and make the Jaguars the team to beat in the AFC.

Other notable players selected at No. 26 include ...

Jim Druckenmiller, QB, San Francisco 49ers (1997), who was drafted to succeed Steve Young as the next great 49ers quarterback. That didn't happen (not even close), as Druckenmiller started just one game and four years later was quarterbacking the Memphis Maniax of the XFL.

Henry Jones, DB, Buffalo Bills (1991), who was a member of three of the Bills' four Super Bowl teams of the early 1990s.

Jim Harbaugh, QB, Chicago Bears (1987), who led the Indianapolis Colts to the brink of the Super Bowl in 1995, and is now currently the head coach at Stanford.

Don Mosebar, C, Los Angeles Raiders (1983), who played 13 seasons for the Raiders, with whom Mosebar teamed with guards Steve Wisniewski (1989-2001) on his left and Max Montoya (1990-1994) on his right, anchoring a trio of outstanding blockers that combined for nine Pro Bowl appearances in the five years they were together.

Joe Delamielleure, G, Buffalo Bills (1973), who was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2003.

Current NFL players selected at No. 26: Anthony Spencer, LB, Dallas Cowboys (2007, Purdue); John McCargo, DT, San Francisco 49ers (2006, N.C. State); Chris Spencer, C, Seattle Seahawks (2005, Mississippi); Chris Perry, RB, Cincinnati Bengals (2004, Michigan); Kwame Harris, OT, San Francisco 49ers (2003, Stanford); Lito Sheppard, CB, Philadelphia Eagles (2002, Florida); Jamar Fletcher, CB, Miami Dolphins (2001, Wisconsin); Fernando Bryant, CB, Jacksonville Jaguars (1999, Alabama); Alan Faneca, G, Pittsburgh Steelers (1998, Louisiana State); Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore Ravens (1996, Miami, Fla.).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 27

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The pick is in and the commish is stepping up to the microphone for the No. 27 overall pick in the all-time ultimate mock draft ...

Dan Marino, QB, Miami Dolphins (1983, Pittsburgh)



The first round of the 1983 draft has gone down as one of the best ever, and for good reason. Talk about nice back-to-back picks; we've already included the No. 28 overall pick from that draft in the all-time ultimate mock draft, Darrell Green, and now we have Marino, who went a pick earlier to the Dolphins in one of the great steals in draft history. That 1983 draft is famous for the number of quarterbacks taken, as John Elway (No. 1), Todd Blackledge (No. 7), Jim Kelly (No. 14), Tony Eason (No. 15) and Ken O'Brien (No. 24) all went before Marino.

Despite playing, and coming up short, in just one Super Bowl appearance, Marino went on to set a number of passing records, many of those career marks were recently broken by Brett Favre.

Marino's 1984 season is the stuff of legend. His 5,084 yards passing remains an NFL record, while his record of 48 touchdown passes took 20 years to break (by Peyton Manning, who saw his record broken this past season by Tom Brady). Marino's records of four games of 400 or more passing yards and six games with four or more touchdown passes still stand.

The San Diego Chargers hold the No. 27 pick in this year's draft. This would be quite the noodle scratcher for the Bolts, given that they've already invested in Philip Rivers to be their franchise quarterback. Hmm ... stick with Rivers, or get one of the greatest passers to ever put on a pair of pads?

Other notable players selected at No. 27 include ...

Tommy Kramer, QB, Minnesota Vikings (1977), who was a one-time Pro Bowler who earned the nickname "Two Minute Tommy" for many late game come-from-behind victories.

Reggie McKenzie, G, Buffalo Bills (1972), who was a member of the Buffalo Bills' famous "Electric Company" offensive line that helped pave the way for O.J. Simpson's 2,000-yard rushing season in 1973.

Current NFL players selected at No. 27: Robert Meachem, WR, New Orleans Saints (2007, Tennessee); DeAngelo Williams, RB, Carolina Panthers (2006, Memphis); Roddy White, WR, Atlanta Falcons (2005, Alabama-Birmingham); Jason Babin, LB, Houston Texans (2004, Western Michigan); Larry Johnson, RB, Kansas City Chiefs (2003, Penn State); Mike Rumph, CB, San Francisco 49ers (2002, Miami, Fla.); Michael Bennett, RB, Minnesota Vikings (2001, Wisconsin); Anthony Becht, TE, New York Jets (2000, West Virginia); Mark Bruener, TE, Pittsburgh Steelers (1995, Washington).

Exhaustively irreverent MLS preview

"I fell in love with football as I would later fall in love with women: suddenly, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain it would bring." -- Author Nick Hornby in Fever Pitch.

You may and/or may not know that Major League Soccer is ready to kick off its 13th season.

To celebrate, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will preview the upcoming season as only "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" can.

Then, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will host an MLS opening night viewing party. "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will have plenty of beer to drink and snacks to snack on as the Galaxy and Rapids go at it in glorious HD. You're not invited.

Below you will find teams listed in their predicted order of finish.

Eastern Conference

1. D.C. United

Who to know: This team features three Argentinians -- Marcelo Gallardo, Franco Niell and Gonzalo Peralta -- and two Brazilians -- Luciano Emilio and Fred (no, not THAT Fred, silly!), which would seem like a recipe for success in the game of soccer. Need an added fun fact? Emilio is your defending Golden Boot champion.

One liner: United longer has to play second fiddle to the Washington Nationals at ol' RFK.

2. Chicago Fire

Who to know: Cuauhtémoc Blanco, who is not a favorite of loyal U.S. national team followers.

One liner: A full season with Blanco has to have Fire fans dreaming of capturing the big silver soccer ball trophy in that big game at the end of the season.

3. New England Revolution

Who to know: Taylor Twellman -- All's Twell with the Revo when No. 20 puts one in the back of the ol' onion basket.

One liner: Can Revo FC equal the Buffalo Bills' remarkable run of four consecutive appearances in the league championship game?

4. Red Bull New York

Who to know: Juan Pablo Angel -- If you're lucky enough to have an MLS fantasy team, you should make sure you have him on your roster.

One liner: The Red Bulls could be without the services of the talented Jozy Altidore for an extended period of time this summer as the forward will compete in the Games of the XXIX Olympiad in soccer, rhythmic gymnastics and the modern pentathlon (totally kidding about those last two events ... LOL!).

5. Kansas City Wizards

Who to know: Former Argentinian World Cup performer Claudio Lopez, who was arguably the biggest offseason signing in all of Major League Soccer, according to unnamed Internets sources.

One liner: The Wizards have moved out of cavernous Arrowhead and into CommunityAmerica Ballpark, where they will play until the team is moved to a more lucrative market.

6. Toronto FC

Who to know: The Red Patch Boys, which is a Toronto FC supporters group that apparently goes by the motto, "No girls allowed!"

One liner: Beating the Crew means winning the new Trillium Cup (named for the official wildflower of Ohio and the flower of the province of Ontario, just in case you were curious). Only at "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" do you get that sort of knowledge.

7. Columbus Crew

Who to know: Guillermo Barros Schelotto, who is regarded as the most significant signing in club history. I dare you to try to name a more significant Crew FC signing. You can't, can you? Wait, can you?

One liner: Franchise-long playoff drought will extend to four seasons. Four seasons doesn't seem like that long of a time if you're a fan of teams such as the Arizona Cardinals (nine seasons without a playoff berth), Tampa Bay Devil Rays/now just the Rays (nine seasons) and Milwaukee Brewers (25 seasons ... still though, congratulations 1982 Brewers, champions of the American League!).

Western Conference

1. Chivas USA

Who to know: The ChivaGirls. The new 2008 squad will make their Home Depot Center debut on Saturday, April 5 when the local 11 takes on Real (pronounced REE-all) Salt Lake.

One liner: Remember, you heard it here first ... Goats will win the U.S. Open Cup and Superliga championship, but fail to make it to MLS Cup.

2. Los Angeles Galaxy

Who to know: David Beckham. Well, duh!

One liner: Second-place Western finish totally contingent on David Beckham and Carlos Ruiz staying out of the training room.

3. Houston Dynamo

Who to know: Dwayne De Rosario, who is described on his MLSnet.com player page as being "a dynamic player with a tremendous work ethic. He consistently pulls off the unexpected. He scores spectacular goals, and is very effective in distributing the ball in scoring opportunities." In other words, he's good.

One liner: Dynamos always earn major props for being only MLS team to prominently sport the color orange.

4. FC Dallas

Who to know: Kenny Cooper, who at a time played for the Manchester United reserve squad.

One liner: Dallas has not won a playoff series since 1999, when the team was known as the Burn. Thankfully, they changed that name.

5. Colorado Rapids

Who to know: Christian Gomez, the former league MVP who arrived at Dick's Sporting Goods Park to help Rapids FC reach Major League Soccer prominence.

One liner: The team that formerly looked like Inter Milan, now looks like Arsenal after a switch to burgundy as a primary color last season.

6. Real Salt Lake

Who to know: Kyle Beckerman, who sports dreadlocks and is also a relatively cheap alternative for the midfield of your Major League Soccer fantasy team.

One liner: Expansion is the only thing that keeps sad sack Salt Lake out of the Western Conference cellar.

7. San Jose Earthquakes

Who to know: Ronnie O'Brien, is Irish and apparently likes playing for expansion teams. Last year, O'Brien played for the expansion Toronto FCs.

One liner: The Earthquakes are the Cleveland Browns of MLS, or so we're being told. When the original Earthquakes/Clash moved to Houston to become the Dynamo, the team's colors, logo, history and records remained in San Jose. Sadly, the "new" Earthquakes couldn't keep the players, who won the MLS Cup again last year.

Speaking of the MLS Cup, let's make a Totally-Just-Guessing-On-This-One Prediction^TM ...

MLS Cup 2008: Houston Dynamo over Chicago Fire. Place recreational bets accordingly.


David Beckham photo taken by talented picture taker Ben Liebenberg.

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 28

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

Unlike the real first round of the NFL Draft, this one is moving along at a brisk pace. The next pick is in, so let's go to the microphone ...

Darrell Green, DB, Washington Redskins (1983, Texas A&I)



While often holding the title as the NFL's fastest man, Green helped the Redskins win two Super Bowls -- Super Bowls XXII and XXVI -- while also earning seven Pro Bowl selections in his 20 seasons with Washington.

The Dallas Cowboys hold the No. 28 pick in this year's draft, and given that they are entertaining the idea of acquiring the troubled Pacman Jones, it would appear selecting Green in this spot would be a much more desirable option.

Other notable players selected at No. 28 include ...

Andy Katzenmoyer (1999), who isn't exactly "notable" so much as "hmm, whatever happened to him?" After a neck injury prematurely ended his career, Katzenmoyer settled in as an assistant football coach and defensive coordinator at Westerville South High School (Ohio).

Mark Ingram (1987), who made a crucial third-down play on a touchdown drive in the Giants' Super Bowl XXV victory over the Buffalo Bills.

Bennie Cunningham (1976), who played on the Pittsburgh Steelers' Super Bowl XII- and XIV-winning teams.

Current NFL players selected at No. 28: Joe Staley, OT, San Francisco 49ers (2007, Central Michigan); Marcedes Lewis, TE, Jacksonville Jaguars (2006, UCLA); Luis Castillo, DE, San Diego Chargers (2005, Northwestern); Chris Gamble, CB, Carolina Panthers (2004, Ohio State); Andre Woolfolk, CB, Tennessee Titans (2003, Oklahoma); Jerramy Stevens, TE, Seattle Seahawks (2002, Washington); Rob Morris, LB, Indianapolis Colts (2000, BYU); R.W. McQuarters, CB, San Francisco 49ers (1998, Oklahoma State); Trevor Pryce, DT, Denver Broncos (1997, Clemson); Derrick Brooks, LB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1995, Florida State).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 29

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The ultimate all-time mock draft continues with pick No. 29 ...

Fran Tarkenton, QB, Minnesota Vikings (1961, Georgia)



"Scramblin' Fran" retired as the NFL's all-time leader is every significant passing record. His career passing record stood until Dan Marino broke the record, and then Brett Favre eventually passed Marino in 2007. Tarkenton remains fifth all-time on the career passing leader list. Tarkenton was a 1986 inductee into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

The 49ers -- who hold the 29th pick in this year's draft -- will be holding an open quarterback competition during training camp this summer and sure could use Tarkenton added into the mix.

Other notable players selected at No. 29 include ...

Chris Spielman (1988), who was a four-time Pro Bowl selection and led the Lions in tackles each of his eight seasons with the team.

Nate Odomes (1987), who was a starting cornerback for the Buffalo Bills when the team made an unprecedented four consecutive Super Bowls.

Joe Cribbs (1980), who was a three-time 1,000-yard rusher and three-time Pro Bowler for the Buffalo Bills in the early 80s.

Tommy Casanova (1972), who was a college football legend at Louisiana State before going on to earn three Pro Bowl berths.

Jim Mandich (1970), who scored three touchdowns for the 1972 Dolphins, who finished the season a perfect 17-0.

Dave Wilcox (1964), nicknamed "The Intimidator," the linebacker was a 2000 inductee into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Current NFL players selected at No. 29: Ben Grubbs, OG, Baltimore Ravens (2007, Auburn); Nick Mangold, C, New York Jets (2006, Ohio State); Marlin Jackson, S, Indianapolis Colts (2005, Michigan); Michael Jenkins, WR, Atlanta Falcons (2004, Ohio State); Nick Barnett, LB, Green Bay Packers (2003, Oregon State); Marc Colombo, OT, Chicago Bears (2002, Boston College); Ryan Pickett, DT, St. Louis Rams (2001, Ohio State).

Old man Burns' dream team

"Okay, let's go over the ground rules. You can't leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning." -- Umpire talking over ground rules to Homer Simpson and Chief Wiggum before a softball game in Homer at the Bat

Playing against Jose Canseco in a recreational softball game, then regaling stories of said encounter to whoever would listen, has me reminiscing about some great Canseco moments ...

Canseco's 40-40 season in 1988 (quick, name the other three players who have achieved that milestone in the years since. You can't, can you?).

Canseco's grand slam home run that hit the center-field camera during that classic Game 1 of the 1988 World Series.

The homer Canseco hit into the fifth deck of Toronto's Skydome during the 1989 ALCS.

The fly ball that bounced off Canseco's noggin and over the fence for a home run in 1993.

The time Canseco was the voice of reason on VH1's The Surreal Life.

Then, there's episode 8F13 of the Simpsons ...

Homer at the Bat originally aired on Feb. 20, 1992 (when daddy Bush was the president and the Minnesota Twins were defending World Series champions), and is arguably the greatest of all Simpsons episodes.

In that classic Simpsons episode, Canseco was recruited by Smithers to play for Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in the championship softball game, but along with his fellow ringers was felled by a series of unfortunate, yet quite hilarious, events.

Sure, everybody knows which -- at the time -- current major-league players made an appearance in Homer at the Bat, but who were the ballplayers who were originally slated by C. Montgomery Burns (after scouring the American, National and Negro Leagues) to play for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant?

Here is old man Burns' dream team (complete with fun facts, tidbits and other happy anecdotes for your reading pleasure) ...

Pitcher -- 3-Finger Brown (career statistics): Played 100 years ago, died 60 years ago, but still has an official website.

Catcher -- Gabby Street (career statistics): Once caught a baseball dropped from the top of the Washington Monument.

First base -- Cap Anson (career statistics): Played in a record 27 consecutive seasons, all before the turn of the century (umm, and that would be the 19th Century).

Second base -- Napoleon "Nap" Lajoie (career statistics): Mentioned in the poem Lineup for Yesterday by Ogden Nash ...

L is for Lajoie
Whom Clevelanders love,
Napoleon himself,
With glue is his glove.

Good stuff! Let's move on ...

Shortstop -- Honus Wagner (career statistics): "When I was a boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there on the warmth of a summer afternoon we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him I wanted to be a major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be president of the United States. Neither of us got our wish." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Third base -- Pie Traynor (career statistics): With a professional baseball playing career that ended in 1937, Traynor was the most "modern" player on Burns' dream team. Still, Traynor had passed away 20 years before Homer at the Bat originally aired.

Left field -- Shoeless Joe (career statistics): Ray Liotta as "Shoeless" Joe Jackson in Field of Dreams and batting right handed makes me cringe every time I see it.

Center field -- Harry Hooper (career statistics): Only player to be a part of four Red Sox World Series championships (1912, 1915, 1916, 1918).

Right field -- Jim Creighton (sorry, no stats :-( ... only a wikipedia bio): Infamous player on Burns' dream team that Smithers points out, "In fact, your right fielder has been dead for 130 years." Creighton died suddenly at the age of 21 in 1962, seven years before the debut of the Cincinnati Red Stockings, baseball's first openly all-professional team.

Jose Canseco, recreational softball player

"Before I die, I will hit 500 home runs. I don't care what's in my future -- broken leg, broken ankle ... more back surgery ... I'll play until I'm 45 if I have to." -— Jose Canseco

The Head Hunters defeated the two-time defending Santa Monica Friday night men's "C" league champion Bar Rats a bunch of runs to not so much in a showdown on Friday night.

The Head Hunters' victory was powered by Jose Canseco. Let's repeat that again for effect ... the Head Hunters' victory was powered by Jose Canseco.

Canseco made a much-ballyhooed Friday night softball debut, socking one long home run, lining for left for a single, and then popping out twice on long fly balls that were tracked down by the Bar Rats' skilled outfielders.

Canseco's line: 2-4, 1B, HR
My line: 2-3, 2 1B (including a hit when Canseco took the mound)

"I'm not letting Canseco walk me," I said to whoever would listen after the game. "He was obviously trying to pitch around me."

Actually, Canseco's softball pitching -- much like his ill-fated appearance on the mound at Fenway Park -- left more to be desired. He walked a couple Bar Rats and some of his pitches were better suited for fast-pitch softball. He also showed why he never won a Gold Glove while playing in the big leagues, making an errant throw to first that resulted in an error.

Canseco's 17-year major-league career ended after the 2001 season with 462 home runs, just 38 short of the 500-homer milestone many use as a barometer for induction into baseball's Hall of Fame (Complete stats). In 2007, he received just six Hall of Fame votes and failed to meet the threshold necessary to stay on the ballot for another year.

Despite the novelty factor of Canseco's appearance, the loss was particularly bitter for the Bar Rats, who failed to get a good inning going at the plate and made numerous fielding and baserunning errors.

"Tonight we let one guy get into our heads and we lost," team manager "Grim" said. "Now this game is in the past. Starting next game let's go out there and kick some (expletive)."

Below are some photos from Friday night's game ...

Canseco at the plate.

Canseco at the dish, ready to rake.

Me at the dish, ready to rake.

Canseco connects, blasting a home run over the head of the Bar Rats' speedy, talented, devilishly handsome left-center fielder.

Me connecting, hitting a single.

Being the nice guy that he is, Canseco poses for a photo with the Bar Rats softball club.

Photos taken by the girl I'm sorta kinda seeing.

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 30

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

The Green Bay Packers are on the clock, and their make-believe ultimate all-time mock draft pick is in ...

Sam Huff, LB, New York Giants (1956, West Virginia)




True story: Sam Huff very nearly didn't become the player he did with the New York Giants. Then-assistant coach Vince Lombardi convinced Huff to stay with the team (with a lecture on guts and determination). Later, then-assistant Giants coach Tom Landry created the 4-3 defense to better utilize Huff's immense talents. A Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee in 1982, Huff had legendary on-the-field confrontations with Browns running back Jim Brown and the Packers' Jim Taylor.

The Packers, who feature the NFL's youngest roster and holders of the No. 30 spot in this year's draft, are in the envious "drafting best player available" position. Despite already having Nick Barnett and A.J. Hawk at linebacker, the Packers would be foolish to pass on Huff, who would be the impact player the Packers need to put their solid defense over the top.

Other notable players selected at No. 30 include ...

Reggie Wayne (2001), who has emerged as one of the NFL's most dangerous receivers, leading the league with 1,510 yards in 2007 and helping the Colts win Super Bowl XLI the previous season.

Eric Allen (1988), who was a six-time Pro Bowler and returned four interceptions for touchdowns in 1993.

Marion Barber (1982) ... not the one who plays for the Cowboys, silly, but Marion Barber III's father, who played seven mostly undistinguished seasons with the Jets.

Greg Pruitt (1973), who was a five-time Pro Bowler for the Browns and Raiders (as a kick returner for the L.A. Raiders' Super Bowl XVIII-winning team). Pruitt was known for wearing flimsy, tear-away jerseys that came apart when would-be tacklers attempted to bring the talented back down. This led to a rule to abolish tear-away jerseys.

Current NFL players selected at No. 30: Craig Davis, WR, San Diego Chargers (2007, Louisiana State); Joseph Addai, RB, Indianapolis Colts (2006, Louisiana State); Heath Miller, TE, Pittsburgh Steelers (2005, Virginia); Kevin Jones, RB, Detroit Lions (2004, Virginia Tech); Sammy Davis, CB, San Diego Chargers (2003, Texas A&M); Kendall Simmons, OG, Pittsburgh Steelers (2002, Auburn); Reggie Wayne, WR, Indianapolis Colts (2001, Miami, Fla.); Keith Bullock, LB, Tennessee Titans (2000, Syracuse); Patrick Kerney, DE, Atlanta Falcons (1999, Virginia).

By the way, there are some great Huff photos out there, so here's another to enjoy ...

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 31

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

We continue this series with pick No. 31, and all players picked in the 31st slot of the draft -- regardless of round -- are considered for this draft. Let's get on with the pick ...

Tommy McDonald, WR, Philadelphia Eagles (1957, Oklahoma)



The last non-kicker to play in the NFL without a facemask, McDonald was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1998, and remains the only player ever selected at No. 31 in the draft to achieve such lofty honors.

The Giants own the No. 31 pick in this year's draft, and with the likes of Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer, Steve Smith and David Tyree already on the current roster, selecting McDonald may not address an area of dire need. Nonetheless, the defending Super Bowl champions certainly could add another player who knows a thing or two about winning ball games. While playing for legendary coach Bud Wilkinson at the University of Oklahoma, McDonald never played in a losing game. McDonald went on to help lead the Eagles to the 1960 NFL championship with a win over Vince Lombardi's Green Bay Packers.

Other notable players selected at No. 31 include ...

Wide receiver Carl Pickens (1992), a two-time Pro Bowler with the Bengals.

Linebacker Roman Phifer (1991), who earned three Super Bowl rings with the Patriots.

Running back Ickey Woods (1988), who celebrated touchdowns with the "Ickey Shuffle" while helping lead the Bengals to a surprising run to the Super Bowl in 1988.

Defensive back Nolan Cromwell (1977), who was a four-time Pro Bowler for the Los Angeles Rams.

Linebacker Bill Bergey (1969), who was a five-time Pro Bowler for the Bengals and Eagles.

Defensive tackle Curley Culp (1968), who was a six-time Pro Bowler and helped lead the Chiefs to victory in Super Bowl IV and later was a driving force for the "Luv Ya Blue" Houston Oilers of the late 70s.

Current NFL players selected at No. 31: Greg Olsen, TE, Chicago Bears (2007, Miami, Fla.); Kelly Jennings, CB, Seattle Seahawks (2006, Miami, Fla.); Mike Patterson, DT, Philadelphia Eagles (2005, Southern California); Rashaun Woods, WR, San Francisco 49ers (2004, Oklahoma State); Nnamdi Asomugha, CB, Oakland Raiders (2003, California); Robert Thomas, LB, St. Louis Rams (2002, UCLA); Todd Heap, TE, Baltimore Ravens (2001, Arizona State).

All-time ultimate mock draft, pick No. 32

Every day or so leading up to the NFL Draft on April 26-27, "Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff" will go from pick No. 32 to pick No. 1, recalling the greatest players ever selected in those spots.

We kick this series off with pick No. 32, which wasn't a yearly first-round institution until the Houston Texans became the NFL's 32nd team in 2002. That year, the Washington Redskins -- obviously desperately looking for the future at quarterback -- selected Patrick Ramsey with the 32nd pick in that draft.

Still, we're considering all players selected with pick No. 32 in the NFL Draft's proud 70-plus year history. And when those selections are taken into account, here's the pick ...

Bob St. Clair, OT, Tulsa (1953, San Francisco 49ers)

Back in the day, St. Clair was just a third-round selection. Still, the tackle went on to an 11-year, hall of fame career in San Francisco, where he helped pave the way for the 49ers' "Million Dollar Backfield" that included future Hall of Famers Hugh McElhenny, Joe Perry and Y.A. Tittle.

St. Clair would be a swell fit for the Miami Dolphins, who hold pick No. 32 in this year's draft (the New England Patriots were forced to forfeit their first-round pick due to some much-publicized indiscretions you may and/or may not have read about in the papers, thus a 31-pick first round). In addition to eating all of his meat raw, the 6-foot-9 St. Clair was credited with blocking 10 field goal attempts in 1956.

St. Clair was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1990, and remains the only player selected at No. 32 in the NFL Draft to attain such distinction.

Current NFL players selected at No. 32: Anthony Gonzalez, WR, Indianapolis Colts (2007, Ohio State); Mathias Kiwanuka, DE, New York Giants (2006, Boston College); Logan Mankins, OG, New England Patriots (2005, Fresno State); Ben Watson, TE, New England Patriots (2004, Georgia); Tyler Brayton, DE, Oakland Raiders (2003, Colorado); Patrick Ramsey, QB, Washington Redskins (2002, Tulane); Drew Brees, QB, San Diego Chargers (2001, Purdue); Dennis Northcutt, WR, Cleveland Browns (2000, Arizona); Jerome Pathon, WR, Indianapolis Colts (1998, Washington).

America needs you

"When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland." -- some fella named J.P. Dunleavy

We interrupt 24-hour coverage of the legendary Brett Favre's untimely and unfortunate retirement to bring you a very important public service announcement.

Guinness is attempting to make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday here in the U.S. of A.

Yes, the sort of national holiday that could secure you a day off for this day-long drinking binge.

This is the sort of public initiative we can all can agree on, get behind, rally support for, get approved, then celebrate at the local pub with a beautiful pint of a certain dry stout with a thick, creamy head brewed at St. James's Gate Brewery in a little happy place known as Dublin, Ireland.

At time of publication, the brewers of Guinness had secured 132,727 of the one million signatures it needs by March 16 to formally present a petition to Congress to get this thing done.

Yes, Guinness needs your help. St. Patrick needs your help. Little leprechauns need your help. Your favorite local watering hole needs your help. Go here to join the cause. It's for the good of America.

Some little-known fun facts about St. Patrick's Day ...

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated worldwide by Irish people, and increasingly by non-Irish people.

Americans like to celebrate the holiday by wearing green clothing.

Alcohol is the center of many St. Patrick's Day celebrations.